The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

Oh Ma

I feel for you, I really do. I wish that I had a magic wand to make it all go away for you. HUGE hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

IsinDe - night night my lovely. I hope that the DT's let you rest so that tomorrow you feel even better still.

Nemo is refusing sleep and tbh, I have no fight left in me tonight so I'm going to just let him drift off down stairs. DH is still steaming and stripping walls.

I could murder a bloody mary right now but I am sans vodka so will make do with a chocolate milkshake and cookies.

Night night Brave Babes, tomorrow is a whole new day xxxx

night night mousie, and all the other babes.

Night, night all, sleep tight.xxx

Morning babes,

Well done on 7 days today Indie, I know just what you mean about feeling much better from day 4 or 5. Happy Birthday, 9 months today, dear DT's .

Not quite 3.30 with DH this morning, I bought him a notebook to write in, for early in the morning when he wakes up, and he wasn't up until about 5 this morning. I had about 7 years of (very) broken nights when the children were young (mine were unusually bad sleepers Isindie ), and now here it is again , should make me feel young, I suppose!

I hope Nemo eventually settled Mouse, and that you had some quality sleep, instead of the sleep that leaves you, just on the edge all night, and scratchy eyed in the morning! ( I can remember that one too!)

I feel much brighter this morning, as you can tell, felt quite downish yesterday, so grateful to belong to this thread (and I feel like I do now ), where I can talk, and you know the "underlying" layer of my worries, on top of normal day to day rubbish.

Crikey, I hope this never gets printed out and sent to my friends and colleages, with my name stamped over "Thurso"..........on the other hand .....

Much love Babes
xxx

hi all, I had a fab nights sleep! That is one of the better things about being sober. Have a traumatic day today as I am going for lunch with my mother...she is hard work! Hope everyone is doing ok. It;s soooo worth it.

Inde, you made me laugh, one of my most polished accomplishments is giving myself a hard time .

Hi changeling hope lunch goes well.

Going up to the shower now, then crack on with college work, which I have left for a week!

climbs stairs whispering I am wonderful, I am wonderful

Another fail.

Thank you for all your kind words everyone. I will be back someday and I will continue to lurk in the meantime.

morning!

good luck with your dm changeling, i soooo understand what its like to have a difficult mother!, i have found that i can cope with her much more easily now im sober!, i find myself picking my battles much more carefully, ie, ones that actually matter rather than the irritating niggles she can cause! , often i find myself trailing along in her wake muttering words of comfort to myself! , i may look barking but at least i dont have the urge to commit acts of extreme violence!

anyway, am going to meeting again today, i have the luxury of a few days off because of my back, so im going to use them to set me up for the next few bank holidays!, did you know, AA gets more new members after a bank holiday than the rest of the year? - i can see it really, lovley sunshine, family altogether, trips to the beer garden, boozy bbq's, and then the fallout! hmm, my pondering of the day!

btw thurso, you are wonderful!

and isindi, blimey 9 MONTHS!!!! , where has the time gone?, i know they can feel like a hard slog, but really, what wonderful precious little beings they are!

TODAY!!

im so sorry my love!, honestly, from what you have said, i think you need some rl support!, you dont sound well, you sound very down and i think perhaps you should think about talking to your doctor, i know its not easy to ask for help, but really, sometimes we all need to! please stay with us and keep posting!, it dosent matter if you are drinking, you are worried about it so why not stay and talk to people who understand? whatever you decide, good luck love! xxx

Today don't talk about "failing" sweetheart, goodness, we've all done that!

If you had a drink last night, you are probably not feeling so good this morning,"anxious", "guilty" and indeed "failure", but you can let today be the start of a different you.
Do keep posting on here, if you feel you can't talk to anyone in RL, it helps, it really does.
xx

JWN x posted, I've obviously got a time delay laptop!
I think the best thing for a bad back is to lie out flat, in the sunshine, lime and tonic to hand .
xx

Epic fail here too

I had a shitter of a day yesterday, and by 5 'o clock I was feeling resentful, angry, hungry and tired. At 7.30 I dashed out of the house to go to a meeting because I felt I really really needed to. Got there as it was starting but realised almost immediately that I had the wrong bloody day and I was in an NA meeting, not AA. Jesus bloody christ, what an idiot. I walked out and went to the nearest offie I'm an idiot.

Have spoken to my sponsor this morning, she's going to ring me every two hours today. Actually, in the name of honesty, I'm scared she's going to dump me.

Hello all. I can't describe how happy I was this morning to read this thread properly. I read a couple of posts yesterday and had a dread fear that an on-line argument was about to happen. I was really busy so I just switched off. I have a real problem with conflict, and I know that in the past I have used alcohol to deal with it - either to soothe me towards oblivion so that I didn't feel the need to fight it, or to give me the courage to actually stand up for myself. ma elements of what you describe with your dh in the mornings are similar to what I endured with my ex (although without much choice) and I know that being drunk was a coping mechanism - one way or another.

I still find conflict very difficult, even on an anonymous forum, so I was delighted to read how positive all the posts turned out yesterday. And, also yesterday I did stand up for what I really wanted in a work situation, and it was OK.

I've lost track of who posted what, but I do agree with the difficult feelings at this time of year of wanting to sit outside in the sunshine with a glass of something cool and refreshing. In our garden we put a bench in a nice spot that catches the evening sun - it was my gin & tonic corner and we joked about surrounding it with lemon trees and juniper berries. Now I've moved the bench to outside the kitchen window - and it's now a sunny Saturday morning spot for coffee and chocolate biscuits. I do find though that the change of season could easily become an excuse for longing for a drink. I see people outside in the park and I imagine they are sipping cold champagne when they're probably drinking apple juice. But then I just as easily have similar imaginings in the autumn - seeing people in cosy houses and imagine them drinking some good red wine, when they're probably having a nice cup of tea!

thurso I saw yesterday that you were 'just getting on with doing your own thing' rather than trying to sort everything in the world for your dh. fwiw I think that is a really good approach. When my dp was going through a difficult time at work he found it easier if I just carried on as normal - the routine of my normal stuff - going out when I needed to, talking about the normal ups and downs of my life, made him feel more stable and secure than if I was pandering to his every need.

Have a good day everyone xx

Morning Babes.

Golly - she won't 'dump' you, I'm sure? JWN may be able to shed some light more than I, but I thought the whole point of a sponser was to support you 24/7 should you need that?

I'm so sorry that you are feeling deflated about your actions last night. I can honestly say that the 'oh fuck it' monster has been with me for the last few days too. I have had to lock the front door and give the keys to DH to stop me going out and buying my weapon of choice.

So I know how you feel, even though I don't go to AA.

Was there anything in particular or just a shite day?

Keep posting sweets, it really does help xx

venus - I think I missed all of that yesterday, will go and catch up.

I am struggling with the 'light nights and warm evenings' demon of late, I really am.

IsinDe - HAPPY 9 MONTHS TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL DTS

I can't believe just how fast they have grown! Wow. You are going to have to do a profile and put a picture on, just for all of their Aunty's on the Bus. Plus, it will give me a baby fix

Today

I agree with JWN re needing RL professional help and support. I have read your posts and felt such sadess and desperation in your words. I really do hope that you will find the help that you need.

Take care of yourself, look after YOU xx

Off to catch up.....................

Yeah, lots of things happened. I had a longer day at work than usual, when I got home my teenager immediately started rudely demanding that I feed her even though she's perfectly capable of putting a bacon sandwich together. The house was an utter tip due to the fact that it had been occupied by unattended kids all day whilst I was working (old enough to be left btw!) and my dh hadn't done his jobs - like emptying the dish washer/emptying the kitchen bin (and we were out of bin bags that he'd neglected to tell me), which made all my jobs difficult to do. The main through road to get just about anywhere is closed for works at the moment which makes all short trips to the shops and to pick up kids from friend's houses take three times longer than usual and also involves running the gauntlet of side roads where everyone vies for superiority when it comes to pulling into a space to let you pass and results in stand offs. Gahhhhhhh!

None of this little lot was made any better whatsoever by drinking. I'm really upset, I have no idea why going to AA doesn't seem to be working for me because I really REALLY want it to.

golly why would your sponsor 'dump' you? I guess that if you are consistently picking up then you might be reminding her of her own temptations, but then as MIFLAW says, these reminders are often just what we need to help us focus on our own sobriety.

Now that you have had that expereince last night golly you can use it to help you plan for the future. What could you do if you got into a similar situation again where you couldn't get to an AA meeting? perhaps you could have sat in the NA meeting either hoping that after an hour your craving might have gone, or that you'd have thought of something else to do. Perhpas another time you could make sure you have a choice of numbers that you could call - your sponsor, or the AA helpline, or another friend. Perhaps you could make your first stop a shop where they don't sell alcohol and firstly drink a big bottle of lemonade. Please don't beat yourself up thinking that these are things you should have done yesterday. Yesterday is gone, it was what it was, but use the experience to make your self stronger for the future.

Aw golly if only any approach were easy. Just because you had a drink yesterday doesn't mean AA isn't working for you. In fact your post said that you recognised all the triggers of being tired, hungry, resentful and felt that an AA meeting was the place to go. That is good. They didn't let you down, You didn't let yourself down. Things just did not work out as you planned - that happens sometimes. It doesn't make you a worse alcoholic than anyone else, and it doesn't mean that AA (or any other approach won't work for you). It just means you've learnt something about yourself yesterday - that at the end of a shitty day, when things didn't work out, you still wanted a drink. That's all. Don't give it more meaning than it deserves.