husband kicked DD1, am leaving in the morning

[lucyintheskywithdinos]

I'm sat here in floods, twat is in the other bedroom. Anyone around to keep me company?

We were having a tough bedtime, not unusual. DD1 4 is bouncing happily around, we're both grumpy. She jumps on him, he kicks her. I'm horrified, he doesn't react until after me. Since he has been trying to tell me he 'moved her with his leg' but is now admitting it. DD1 has only just gone to sleep.

Fuck. Am calming down again now, will pack bag tomorrow and go stay with my Mum. What do I need to take? Am going to run to the toilet now.

Jesus.

Lucy, I'm so sorry. Is DD OK?

Can't HE leave? He sounds like he needs to be the one to sort his head out. why should you go?

She's fine. Cried at the time, but no marks.

Crap as it is, our house sis owned by FIL. I'd rather leave. Feels better, arse can't just come home from work tomorrow then.

are you going for a few days or permanently?

I'll find the list on WA site - it's easier than thinking off the top of my head.

Well done you for knowing what needs to be done.

Here you go: (thinking along the lines of he goes barmy when you've left and won't let you return for anything/gets rid of it before you get the chance to retrieve it like my ex did... I'd take as much as you can)

* Some form of identification.
* Birth certificates for you and your children.
* Passports (including passports for all your children), visas and work permits.
* Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.
* Keys for house, car, and place of work. (You could get an extra set of keys cut, and put them in your emergency bag.)
* Cards for payment of Child Benefit and any other welfare benefits you are entitled to.
* Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
* Prescribed medication.
* Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
* Insurance documents, including national insurance number.
* Address book.
* Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
* Clothing and toiletries for you and your children.
* Your children's favourite small toys.

Permanently. He's outside the bedroom wanting to talk, am refusing.

DD2 nursing now, his noise almost woke her.

Oh my. You poor thing. Just chanced upon your entry. Take courage. Get out of the house and do just what you've written. Go to your mums. This is premature but if you think of returning to him, please think twice. I left and then returned to someone who frightened me on a physical violence level and it was a complete waste of time. I left and should never have gone back. I say this just to be a reminder if you get to your mums and then days later think of returning. (happy ending as I eventually did leave him and am now much happier). Back to you. Keep posting and good luck.
You need: keys, wallet, clothes (not many), Childs red book, passports, snack for journey, favourite cuddly toy/ dummy. Phone, house keys. Oh and if you want to play extra safe - copies of any financial papers you might need, address book, phone charger.
XX

ah yes - red book for dc... well done for thinking of that

Thanks lewisfan.

don't forget, lucy - you can ring 999 if he looks like he's going to do it again. It might be worth ringing now to report it - it looks better in the future if you reported it and the police may remove him for tonight...

Did he mean to kick her?

Forget my crappy list. Lewis you are brilliant.

I feel unreal, as though I could wake up and things be normal.

Won't be returning. My mum stayed with an abusive bloke from when I was 4 - 19, won't have that life repeated for my lovely girls. Shit, what just happened to my life!?

Yes. He yelled, then kicked.

look on the bright side; dd will recover and you will all have a much better life :)

well done, you're amazingly strong.

eugine - I copied and pasted from women's aid site!

Does he go off to work in the morning?

We will. Stressing over things like how will I manage to carry on HEd, but I'll be fine. I have amazing friends.

He hit her once 2 years ago, he has no more chances. Am keeping myself angry.

Yes, he works tomorrow.if he causes problems will ring my Grandad. Sounds ridiculous, but he has been there before with my Mum and he is very very capable.

There's no need for him to know you're going to leave then, as you can get all the stuff you need together after he's gone in the morning. Good luck.

ring the police if he causes problems.

I'd be inclined to ring them tonight, tbh - they have the power to remove him and you can get some rest before tomorrow.

as soon as you are safely at your mums report what happened to the police. it my become very useful to have it logged for any future proceedings
well done for calmly thinking things through and planning to leave. is it possible to leave after he has left the house tomorrow? that may be safer than trying to leave whilst he is there and will give you time to get your things together
please do think about taking or copying any financial or personal documents as these are very hard to replace
plan for him being uncooperative, if he isnt then thats a bonus

I'm so sorry for you and DD. (hugs)
Sorry no experience or advice but u sound like a very strong woman and fab mum.

oops slow typing x posts sorry

Good point about not telling him you're leaving. He'll find out in good time.