husband kicked DD1, am leaving in the morning

[lucyintheskywithdinos]

I'm sat here in floods, twat is in the other bedroom. Anyone around to keep me company?

We were having a tough bedtime, not unusual. DD1 4 is bouncing happily around, we're both grumpy. She jumps on him, he kicks her. I'm horrified, he doesn't react until after me. Since he has been trying to tell me he 'moved her with his leg' but is now admitting it. DD1 has only just gone to sleep.

Fuck. Am calming down again now, will pack bag tomorrow and go stay with my Mum. What do I need to take? Am going to run to the toilet now.

cestlavielife - completely agree with your entire post. (i used to work in child protection)

i reported my ex for assaulting my dd.
i was told that repoting would lead to investigation by SS of me and i was preapred for that (tho Ss already invoveld anyway as DS disabeld and plenty ongoing issues with exP)

police asked if we were safe and i said yes as not living with exP and had cut contact.

so they referred to Ss and referred to child protection unit.

it was passed on (eventually - we talking weeks not days) and SS (already invovled with family) confirmed with me children were safe.
ex was NOT arested and NOT questioned.
but it has all been logged.

report from polcie which i have seen via SW refers to pvs incidents including one for violence when he was cautioned.
i have since received calls fomr different bits of SS at various times as paperwork went various ways.
each time the duty SW has confirmed that we ok, that tehre is no contact and that the SW invoveldwith family is fully informed.

i and DD were preapred to be questioned - but this did not happen - largely, i beleive, because we already 2in the system2 as it were. but the main quesiton was : are you safe from him? are the children having contact?
as answer was no they not -well they havent taken action directly against him.

so this is my personal expereince.

otoh - when my carer said he assaulted her (while she was with oldest DS tkaing him to see exP) she reported two days after assault, they DID call him into invterviiew but he denied it all (his word against hers) and there was no follow up.

when it involves children yes it will be logged and recorded. ]yes SS will be informed,.
but unless ther is injury/medical evidence/broken bones/bruises to show - then it may not be the case that the perpetrator is arrested or even interviewed - and if he is interviewed he only has to deny everything for no action to be taken.

if the child is NOT bruised or injured such that there is evidence then the chances of him being automaticallyarrested for child abuse are not so great - he can easily deny it.

however - SS will want to knwo from op that given teh allegations she is taking steps to keep children safe.

hope helps.

sorri typos - and i was actually annoyed they did not question exP - nonetheless it is logged and recorded.

yes op need to be prepared by my personal experience was that as we were safely away from him, SS concern was : are you safe? are the children safe?
logging the incident will get SS involvement and that is good for later court/contact issues.

in 2008 when i called police after exP had attacked me in my new flat and held us hostage effectively smashed fist thru door etc - then yes they did arrest him adn he admitted what happened and was cautioned.

this time attacking DD he was not arrested or even questioned - but it WAS referred to child protection unit. but SS were informed and it was left to SS to take any action. SS confirmed with me we were safe and there was no more contact.

What a sad and scary situation.

Did you mean he didn't react until after you as he didn't see what he had done as being wrong?

I hope you are all safe now.

Take care.
x

Lucy, you are amazing. Good luck x

Wow. Words fail me re your h. Good luck with everything, you sound like you are a strong lady. Your dds/dcs are lucky to have you. Stay safe xx

Poor you Lucy. What a bloody awful thing to have happened.

I wish you the best of luck.

Wow. You must be in shock Lucy. Was this the final thing that made you realise you couldn't stay? I know you said he hit dd 2 years ago. Has he been abusive towards you? You are very strong to take such decisive action so quickly. Hope you and dc are ok.

oh Lucy well done. cant believe how difficult it must be to do the most sensible thing, when it is also the hardest thing to do. let us know how you get on.

Good luck lucy

Good luck Lucy

Just adding my support. Well done OP and good luck x

Um, this might sound like a stupid question, but how hard was the kick? Was it one aimed to hurt, or one aimed in playfight spirit? It doesn't sound like playfighting (he yelled first and your DD was too upset to sleep after) but I just wanted to clarify.

I second what Keepcalmandcurryon said. I know another poster then said that the H had hit the DD 2 years ago but some parents DO smack their DC (personally, I never would as it is a vile thing to do, but not sure it would be grounds for divorce).

I second everyone else in saying that if your DH deliberately set out to hurt a 4 year old, and might do so again, then you are absolutely doing the right thing in leaving and I take my hat off to you and wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you don't mind me exploring what it takes to prompt such action.

Marking my place and showing support for you, well done, your an amazingly strong woman who has put her childrens safety above all else. your doing the right thing Xxx

Remember too that if you want support but don't feel you can call on family or friends, the SureStart Children's Centre you're local to, will help - they can go with you to the CAB, have WA phone numbers local to the area, should know of Freedom Programme details and all sorts... they'll also make sure you get out of the house and meet new friends if you're feeling isolated.

Still thinking about you x

I remember my dad hitting me as a child, for changing the channel when test cricket was on (I think it was down to the final bowl, and apparently an exciting finish). Horrible thing of dad to do, but it was not hard, and it was a one off. Hasnt left me damaged, and mum and dad are still together.

My dad does have a bit of a temper, but it's okay, we were all used to his occasional slamming doors etc, and he is a genuinely nice person.

If he is abusive, then leave him, but do think it through.

I want to rephrase last sentence - if it was a one off think it through.

I really doubt this is a knee jerk reaction of OP give her the credit that she's most likely thought this through.

keep us informed

Lucy so impressed with your decisiveness. Consider getting legal advice on Saturday or Monday. The Courts are not always as helpful as they can be and you need to make sure you have someone in your corner. Forewarned is forearmed.

You are so strong and courageous and we are all so in awe of you. Keep strong x

Good luck Lucy.

People please note that op h has hit the child when she was 2 this is not a one off.

Just popped on to say I hope things have gone ok. Will check back later to see how you're doing x

I am hoping you are ok.

You are brave.