The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

oh blimey rose!, dont tempt him!, with a post like that miflaw will be winging his way over here like mad thing! - he is the thread queen of straight talking!

thanks so much for all the congrats, im a bit calmer now! , she is young, 19, but honestly, she is saffy to my eddie! she is more mature than i have ever been! - she also seems to be a far better judge of men than i have been too!

now - the party tomorrow night, i will mostly be wearing my lovley silky pjs and my fluffy mules!, i cant help it, its just the way i am!

upsy - thinking about your post about the 'loss' of whatever we think drinking gives us has made me think back to how i felt about it at the start - i too felt that i would suffer some huge feeling of loss and grief for the life i was 'giving up'!, it was a huge feeling, quite dark, frightening and immensly lonely - i think that feeling stayed with me for quite some time, proberbly until i began to feel that i could actually stay sober for a reasonable amount of time. i know that when i realised just how much better i felt, mentally and phyisically, i also found that fear of loss kind of lifting! - dont get me wrong, sometimes i feel a huge wave of loss just suddenly come over me and its incredibly scary, the feeling does recede much quicker now though, i feel strong enough to know that i can tell it to fuck off, and mean it!

without drink my life, and my families lives have improved immeasurably, i can see that dh is more relaxed, he knows what he is coming home to and i think he enjoys stepping through the door now, my dd is just wonderful, i have her back!, she also has me back though, and i know she is happier, more secure, more confident and just has a better outlook on life! - i suppose im trying to say that really, there is nothing to lose by giving up the booze and so so much to gain!

I am just so good at persuading myself it's not that bad, it's not like I'm drinking in the mornings or really affecting my family. My daughter has no idea I drink to excess and family members are getting a bit suspicious but no-one is actually saying anything to me. The only person that can directly benefit from me not drinking is me. I haven't put myself first for a long time so not really much of an incentive other than I don't want to end up dead!!

Thornrose - everyone will benefit from you stopping drinking - how old is your DD? Mine is 10 and she is totally aware of my drinking, my stopping drinking, my starting again - children KNOW what is going on - as much as we kid ourselves that they are oblivious to it - they pick up on the smallest thing at a very young age.

well done you, for posting and trying - that is all any of us can do Babe

stay strong and keep trying

xxx

ok!, straight talking here we come!

you sound fed-up and miserable! - so, you arnt drinking in the mornings!, i didnt either, i didnt think my drinking was affecting anyone else either, until i nearly lost them!

why are you not worth sobriety? - you dont strike me as a waste of space!, you sound a nice woman (bit miserable, but hey! ) you need to change your mind set, you ARE worth more than this!

my gran used to say 'never put your wishbone where your backbone ought to be'! - tbh, getting sober does require a bit of backbone, its not all easy and plain sailing and hearts and bunnys - you have to put a bit of effort in!, i promise you that if you do, your self esteem will rise to the occasion and help you along! so, you can wallow in self pity, or you can give a bloody good go! which is it to be?

hello silver!

silver She is 11 and she has has Asperger's so she is pretty oblivious to my drinking. Her dad died last year so there isn't really an "everyone".
jesus I AM wallowing in self pity, I feel very sorry for myself and my lot right now and it's all a very handy excuse to keep on drinking. On the outside I am acting like everything is fine then sinking into something like oblivion with the bottle at night.
I am going to try, starting tomorrow.

rose - do you need to talk to your gp about depression?, you obviously have a lot on your plate! are you getting all the support you may be entitled to?

the thing with the booze though, its NOT helping, its masking everything, all the feelings and emotions that really do need to be dealt with are just being drowned out!

in the morning, how about you make the first decision of the day

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING

then take the day hour by hour, keep talking to us, dont over think the drinking - dont try and put a label on yourself, dont think too far ahead, just really focus on sober wednesday! ok?

i have to get to bed now!, the excitment of the day has exhausted me!

take care love and try and get some sleep and together we start a lovley shiny new day!

L XXXXXXXXXXXX

TOMORROW I WILL NOT BE DRINKING.

we can do it!!

night night lovely babe!!

Night night and thanks x

Hi thornrose just checking in before I go to bed. I have read your posts and just have a really strong feeling that you are right on the cusp of doing serious battle with this thing, if that makes sense. Even by articulating the fears that you have (ie of the 'losses' involved) lets you see how little sense that really makes when you are already losing so much.

People on this thread have taught me so much from practical strategies, to understanding why we drink, to hand holding when more than will power is called for, to picking you up and dusting you down when you slip up. Stay with it, keep posting and be patient as you will start to see and feel the advantages in giving up the booze.

I am not speaking as any expert, and am back here after losing my way, which isn't great but is a damn site better than drinking and living in denial,
x

Thanks witchety, that's interesting as silver kind of suggested the same thing. I've had a few false starts but I too think I am on the cusp. Tomorrow has to be the first day. I will keep posting, thanks so much.

Did anyone have the confidence to tell anyone close to them they have a drink problem?
I'm hesitant bacause I feel once people are aware of it they will be watching/judging me.
I think the real reason is that I think people are going to discourage me from drinking which will irritate me and make me be more secretive if I decide I want to drink!
I don't want to "burn my bridges" yet but feel it might be an important part of the whole "process" to admit to someone in my RL that I have a problem.

Christ, I'm such an arsehole. I went a brilliant meeting tonight, I want to make it my home group but I can't because it's tuesday night, and i sing in a choir on tuesday nights in five week blocks, so could never make it my home group despite it being absolutely full of people I related to.

So what did I do? Bought vodka.

What an idiot.

I got myself a sponsor though, so I suppose that's good. I don't know if I should fess up to her or not tomorrow. I know I should. Would you?

Urgh. I hate myself right now.

"Did anyone have the confidence to tell anyone close to them they have a drink problem?
I'm hesitant bacause I feel once people are aware of it they will be watching/judging me.
I think the real reason is that I think people are going to discourage me from drinking which will irritate me and make me be more secretive if I decide I want to drink!
I don't want to "burn my bridges" yet but feel it might be an important part of the whole "process" to admit to someone in my RL that I have a problem."

Thornrose, I could have written that - exactly. I have admitted to one RL person, but she doesn't live close by and I know I could tell her anything anyway, I am coming round to the idea of telling more people - but don't know if I'd have the courage.

morning!

lovley shiny new day here!

golly - you nitwit!, pour the rest away, get on with the day, dont beat yourself up - talk to your sponsor!

rose (and you too qo!) - have you consciously thought

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING? !

this morning could be the start of a whole new way of life!, if you REALLY want it to be? or are you just going to drift off and think its too hard?

COME ON!!

you really can do this - you just need to find your inner grit!, we all have it, you just need to look under the cloud that booze has covered your thinking with!

as to telling people - i found that it was a fairly easy process, most of the people around me were in no doubt anyway, i think being honest, with yourself, and other people is a huge part of beating it - if you are judged, do you really want them in your life anyway?, ime, people are kind, want to help and are simply relived that you have admitted your problem!

as to burning your bridges - well, you do that everytime you pick up!, you burn your bridge to a healthy, happy, sober life that can be lived to the full, but hey, you can choose to sit in your bedroom night after night 'enjoying' your wine!, then 'enjoying the guilt and worry, then 'enjoying' playing hid the bottle! sounds great!

ps, im only doing 'straight talking' cos rose asked for it!

checking in on yet another rainy day.
looking forward to a sober evening with the party girls on the bus.
JWN silk pjs?* Hmm, might dig out a clean pair of flanellette ones if we're going to be dressing up.
Feel like boiled shite today after drinking last night. Serves me right.
today I will not be drinking
thornrose today is YOUR day. come on down!

Morning Babes.

JWN - I think your DD is bloody amazing. One of the Babes up thread suggested giving her a ration book for the wedding budget, jokingly but I thought maybe she could style the wedding invites like ration books?

IsinDe - so sorry for no sleep, maybe your DTs were chatting with Nemo all night? He's still struggling with his breathing too. Nurse here at 3.

Ma - your post about telling someone about the 'party' made me spit my coffee out! Brilliant.

Golly - ah, a Babe after my own heart. Vodka was my weapon of choice for self distruction too. I could do 2/3 of a bottle each night if I felt that way out. And sometimes wine on top.

Do what JWN says. I assume that when you read this, you'll be feeling like Deep Fried Dog Shite.

Rose - I'm so sorry to read your posts about DD's father last night. I have a feeling that drink to you is an emotional crutch in some ways. I also think you are ready to tell this particular demon to Fuck The Fuck Off.

There is a mountain of practical help out there, start with your GP for your depression. You don't have to take pills or go for counselling but maybe, just by making someone who can give you that little bit of extra support aware of how you really feel, you can start to move forward instead of treading water?

Right, I'm up for this party later. I'll bring the cheese

Right you lot - this bus is a tip and we have a party to organise.

Hands out cloths and rubbish bags - c'mon move yourselves!

Morning Ma - how are you?

Mornin' all - just checking in. Today I will not be drinking. [smile}

oops!

I'm ok mouse a bit thick-headed after having a few glasses last night but I might eventually learn my lesson. Weirdly, am looking forward to not drinking tonight becuase there is a "reason". As if there isn't a reason every night!
Very very quiet in work today so MNing while boss is in a meeting and can't see my computer screen.
Pouring with rain - again - day 3 of the school holidays and day 3 of rain.