Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

what was the worst thing anyone ever said to you...

202 replies

Snapespeare · 04/03/2011 13:27

...in the context of a relationship breakdown..?

mine was, finding out my ex had been screwing around behind my back, having a huge fight and his parting shot was, 'no man will ever want you now! i mean, single parent - three kids!' Hmm

I'm pretty sure he isn't the biggest c*nt out there! :) (and i do know it wasn't true!) But i really think it's cathartic to write it down...

alternatively, what was the worst thing you ever said? ( I of course, am a paragon of virtue and have never said anything mean or cheap!)

OP posts:
Dozer · 23/06/2011 22:12

These are so sad.

littletrees, sorry, but I think what you said to your SIL was massively insensitive and patronising. Not everyone finds it helpful to hear suggestions that a "positive attitude" can improve cancer prognoses: in fact the research evidence suggests that it makes no difference at all. It can make people feel it's not OK to express negative emotions, or that it will be the person who is ill's fault if they are not positive or "battling" enough.

Her response was harsh, but expect she was annoyed with you!

Dozer · 23/06/2011 22:14

Tb classic about the ex-b vicar-in-training, a personality like that could make for some very lively church services!

knobbysEx · 23/06/2011 22:17

Had the same parting shot. Only "3 kids, two dads. Fuckin SLAG." As if he hadn't known I already had two children with another man when he decided with me to have another child....

bubaluchy · 23/06/2011 22:20

"When we're apart I don't miss you how you miss me and that worries me"- yeowch

knobbysEx · 23/06/2011 22:31

Reading these has brought back loads of things I've had said to me, and I'm so sad that I accepted them. Glad to have gotten away, and to hear that others have liberated themselves too.
Had a bloody good giggle at the cheeseplanticide! :o)

oliviasmama · 23/06/2011 22:36

"I will laugh in your face on your death bed"...........oh and then a very close second..."mummys a big fat ugly cunt Olivia, what is she, a big fat ugly cunt"

bastard he is.

justhadanepiphany · 23/06/2011 22:55

DM 'When you were first born you were lighter skinned and then you went dark so I didn't know what to do' I'm mixed race

'pull yourself together' 'you're upsetting everyone' after abortion at 15

Me 'Mum I'm lucky if anyone wants me' DM 'Yes darling'

justhadanepiphany · 23/06/2011 23:02

'Everyone in the village is asking why I am with you'

'x asked why I couldn't find anyone younger'
'I'm going to get (woman he'd shagged) pregnant and walk around the village holding her hand so everyone can see' (I had cancer and an early menopause)
'everyone thinks I'm too good for you'
'they all laugh at me for being with you'
'you are violent because you're like your father' (mild mannered DF had just died)
'you're going to die alone'

all from same very fat, bald and widely ridiculed in said village exP

BitchyHen · 23/06/2011 23:31

Me "I'm worried about you, do you think you might be depressed?"

stbxh "I'm only depressed because I have to live with you."

SuperGirl91 · 24/06/2011 08:54

justhadanepiphany - thats horrid what a nasty person your ex sounds like especially after all youve been through!

mine is probably when my ex told me that when my DS was older he was going to tell him all the things i want to forget about from my younger days "to let him know what kind of person his father had to deal with"

littletreesmum · 24/06/2011 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LauLauLemon · 24/06/2011 11:04

During a row before ex and I split for good: "You're a piece of shit rotting in the ground just like your mother".

What a wanker.

M0naLisa · 24/06/2011 11:31

My Ex boyfriend (first boyfriend) before i met DH.

'You are fat you better join the gym that i go to, also so i can keep an eye on you Hmm'

I wouldnt have minded but i weighted 7st 6lb :(

cookielove · 24/06/2011 11:35

It is so Sad to hear some of these stories, i cannot imagine anyone saying such vile things, i wonder if some of these things are said in the heat of the moment, but that clearly can't be the case if they are said day in and day out in the course of a relationship.

From an ex friend, who i had been friends with from childhood, 'you'll never get anywhere in life because you are lazy, and never apply yourself, maybe if you put in some effort you would be at Uni, but you to crap to even try' - we stopped being friends pretty quickly after that

veritythebrave · 24/06/2011 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldwomaninashoe · 24/06/2011 13:20

My sister, on me telephoning her to tell her that Mumhad had a serious heart attack and was not expected to last the night "what do you expect me to do I'm having a dinner party tonight?" ....she was 30minutes away by train

Same sister on me 'phoning her to tell her Dad's cancer had spread and the Doctors only gave him a week at the most "Well I hope his affairs are in order I wouldn't want any problems with the will"

WkdSM · 24/06/2011 13:32

'She was always the thick one' - my mother to dear friends who were horrified - especially when she continued 'we took her to the doctors because we thought she was retarded'. She ignores that I was offered at place at Oxford to read theology. She swears blind she never said it. She has. Several times.

'If you leave me you will end up all alone in a council flat in a tower block and you will die and no one will care and cats will eat your body or you will marry a man who beats you and will spend your money at the pub' - my exh
Least the cats would have been fed, eh??

cuteboots · 24/06/2011 13:55

when I was married and going through fertlity treatment my husband said "well if you cant have my kids Ill find someone who can" .

Kalinda · 24/06/2011 13:56

Being accused of sleeping with (and/or wanting to sleep with) my brother by my father and with my father by my mother.

Too many vile things said to me by my parents. Hard to go into them all, but it was daily abuse.

I was also branded the thick one by my parents and older sister despite an exemplary school record. I did go to Oxford. Also, I'm openly branded the family weirdo (mostly because I won't engage in their dramas and I'm not a narcissist - I don't think I am, anyway!)

Being told my race meant I was unacceptable to my first and second bfs' respective parents.

Ex just shouting at me that I was a cunt over and over in front of his friend. Just for no reason, came out of the blue (suspect he was high on something). Humiliating.

During my break up with my ex, when amongst other things I was trying to reason with ex that it was for the best because we had no sex life, being told he would "fuck me every day of the week, if that's what I wanted". Such romance.

My DH telling me I'm hard to love.

DH in response to my suicidal depression: "Why can't you just snap out of?"

Zanette · 24/06/2011 14:16

This is nothing in comparison to some of the others on here....

A specialist told me "There were no fat people in Belsen". He was enormous, like a person who'd swallowed a space hopper!

I have lympheodema & lipoedema (I have lymph pooling in my legs & a genetic condition which means my body makes excess fat cells which will never go).

Kalinda · 24/06/2011 14:25

I suppose what cuts up your heart is subjective, Zanette, it doesn't really matter if on paper it doesn't seem as bad as others' experiences, it's how it hurts you and you alone. I am sorry for you and everyone else on here.

Here's another from my DH. On our wedding day in his speech. His comments about me amounted to the following: She looks good and she can bake.

Doesn't sound that bad, I know. But in my context, when I've heard his reverential comments about how his ex is a really good and cool person; when I thought I'd met my soul mate and that we were equal in intellect, humour, interests and outlook; and when his friends already made me feel like some sort of mail order bride out to steal his money, when in fact I was his equal in professional terms and more than his equal in financial and intellectual terms....it just hurt like hell that his public declaration of his feelings for me amounted to this. I look good and I can bake.

katsmum39 · 24/06/2011 14:34

I was very emotional following death of my brother - ex said I was doing this for sympathy and was trying to get attention. Just one of many cruel and spiteful comments I endured during our relationship.

lostmymind · 24/06/2011 21:05

Does the relationship with my mother count ?
To me (aged 15) 'No, you are definitely not beautiful'.

Have had many unkind things said to me over the years, but that probably had the greatest effect.

Gotitwrong · 25/06/2011 10:20

ok here goes:-
said to me by my H over the last couple of traumatic years...

  1. You are a crap wife
  2. You dont know how to look after a man
  3. You are an emotional cripple
  4. Dont know what you do all day long - the house is always a mess
  5. Dont know why you bother going to work - you earn fuck all money
  6. You think you are better then you are
  7. You are a nutter and need help
  8. Who are you shagging as you dont shag me (wonder why)
  9. You are a lesbian
10. No wonder you are like you are being brought up by your weird mum and dad 11. Your friends are filling your head with nonsense 12. I have never been happy with you (we have been together since age 16/17 - which is nearly 30 years now

NOW HE WONDERS WHY OUR MARRIAGE IS FUCKED................APPARANTLY THESE COMMENTS HAVE ONLY HURT ME BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO CLOSE TO HOME!!!!!!!!!

plinkduet · 25/06/2011 11:59

'I never really wanted children with you. ANYONE but you.'