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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

what was the worst thing anyone ever said to you...

202 replies

Snapespeare · 04/03/2011 13:27

...in the context of a relationship breakdown..?

mine was, finding out my ex had been screwing around behind my back, having a huge fight and his parting shot was, 'no man will ever want you now! i mean, single parent - three kids!' Hmm

I'm pretty sure he isn't the biggest c*nt out there! :) (and i do know it wasn't true!) But i really think it's cathartic to write it down...

alternatively, what was the worst thing you ever said? ( I of course, am a paragon of virtue and have never said anything mean or cheap!)

OP posts:
damppatchnot · 04/03/2011 22:30

A man who i THOUGHT i loved said "Ok i will have sex with you one more time but then we are finished" agghh and I did Blush

fairygirl3 · 04/03/2011 22:31

my mum to me in the middle of a social services meeting to take me into care at age 13 "when i had you,they threw away the baby and gave me the afterbirth",i remember my foster mum telling me how she hadnt really wanted to take in a teen but when she heard that she couldnt leave me there,at the time i just thought my foster mum was very soppy as obviously i heard worse then that on a daily basis,have a very difficult relationship with my mother even now.

damppatchnot · 04/03/2011 22:33

God thats terrible. What a terrible mother to say that about her child Sad

fran28 · 04/03/2011 22:34

when i asked ex boyfriend to move out of the caravan he was living in and get a flat...his reply was why should he pay out money for a flat just for my comfort..i was in the middle of a miscarriage! caravan was about 50 years old..no shower..leaking roof...damp..etc...and no he wasnt living in it when i first met him....and he also laughed and mocked me for crying about my dead mam...

fairygirl3 · 04/03/2011 22:43

oops just realised the relationship breakdown bit ,well in a way was start of the breakdown of the relationship with dm.

garlicbutter · 04/03/2011 23:10

There are some real heartbreakers here :( :( Shock
Makes you wonder how people muddle through life, when they are so broken and twisted?
fairygirl, some of the other posts have benn just as sad ... but, christ! You poor kid! Hope the foster mother came good, that's the least you could hope for.

happiernow · 04/03/2011 23:26

fairygirl poor you, thats terrible Sad

maras2 · 05/03/2011 08:28

Fairygirl,I've just read your post and it's made me cry.I wish you much happiness for the rest of your life and I hope that she dies a slow and painfull death.

FlowerQueen · 05/03/2011 08:53

So glad I found Mumsnet.

Some that spring to mind are:

Being looked up and down by partner (current but thats another thread) in a disgusted way and commented

"you need to sort your wardrobe out"

On our wedding day "Lets see how long this lasts"

About his last ex girlfriend "she looked like Rachel Hunter my type - not like you" (Serious beer goggles me thinks - twins separated at birth they are not).

Or from mother:

"I tried to abort you but it didn't work"

"I could have your boyfriend if I wanted"

"You have eyes like a dead cow"

Twisted. I have had nothing whatsoever to do with her for years. Its made me so determined to be a real mother to my own daughter.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Original poster
Snapespeare · 05/03/2011 09:19

bloody hell! mine seems so rubbish by comparison and i feel a bit Sad that i started the thread, but if it helps at all to 'get it out there' and have other MNers go Shock & Sad then i guess it's good really.

some of these are so awful.

OP posts:
lillybloom · 05/03/2011 09:43

I'd had been a difficult birth with my ds and we both had ended up very ill. I was telling my gran that ds had almost died and had had to be given oxygen. Her response was, "I wouldn't have cared if he'd died" I put the phone down then.

Imcominghome · 05/03/2011 10:22

My ex, when I asked him to leave due to his repeated unfaithfulness said he never would because I didn't care about my kids and would move a new man in within a few months and let my kids be abused just so long as I had a man.

Also, that he had never loved me after a couple of months of being with me and this is why he was so unfaithful and abusive towards me. We were together for 9 years and apparently he never loved me all that time. I believe him actually.

Said on my thirtieth birthday, which he did nothing for "no wonder no-one wanted to be with you for your thirtieth, only another forty years or so and then you will be gone and I won't be stuck with you either.

He was a real prince.

My Mum often told me she should have had me aborted and "flushed down the toilet".

I could never say things like this. I don't understand how people can.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 05/03/2011 10:34

One of the saddest and most infuriating things on this thread is how common it is for people who have been abused in childhood to form relationships with abusers.
Hope you are all healing now and learning that it wasn't your fault and that you are not horrible and unlovable.

Numberfour · 05/03/2011 10:46

So awful to hear how awful people can be to those closest to them........ Makes the horrible things that have been said to me pale in comparison.

I second what SpringchickenGoldBrass has said.

Imcominghome · 05/03/2011 10:52

It makes you used to it doesn't it? Having parents who say those kinds of things to you so when your partner does it, it feels normal and not as shocking as to someone who was well loved. Only from coming on MN have I realised that many people are not and have not been treated like that and been told stuff like that.

CatPower · 05/03/2011 10:54

It's not in the context of a relationship breakdown, but a couple of weeks ago my mother saw my Facebook profile picture and said "this looks nothing like you... you look pretty in this." :(

NettoSuperstar · 05/03/2011 10:57

My mother once said to me, 'what the hell has happened to your hair, it looks like it hasn't been washed for days'.
I was newly pregnant, had been travelling for three days, oh, and she hadn't seen me for two years.
She died 9 years ago and I've still never forgiven her for that, amongst other things.

holyShmoley · 05/03/2011 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 05/03/2011 20:34

''Your fat, you need to join the gym with me (so he knew where i was)''

i weighted 7 stone but accoridng to exp i was fat Angry

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 05/03/2011 20:35

weighed

realrabbit · 05/03/2011 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sourdoughface · 05/03/2011 20:59

my doctor weighed me and said in disgust you weigh more than I do

i was about 8 months pregnant and weighed 10 stones so not exactly hefferish

luvmykids11 · 05/03/2011 21:09

he told me "i never loved u, am glad we are getn divorce and my family are even happy for me"?Shocked:

Meglet · 05/03/2011 21:27

The day I realised XP was a lunatic and I was trying to get together me and the dc's stuff to leave the house "I want you all in bodybags, just get out of the house".

When I asked him when he was popping round to see the children so I could plan what to do in that time "I don't want you doing anything, I want you fucking quaking in fear in the corner of the room".

When we were trying to sort out contact on the phone a few weeks later, "I wish had beaten seven barrels of shit out of you when we were together".

We have nothing to do with him now and I hope it stays like that. He shacked up with his new gf a few months after we split up, lucky girl Hmm Sad -for her.

TheCrackFox · 05/03/2011 21:37

I had an ex-boyfriend who regularly called me fat - I am 5ft 9 and was a size 10 (now a 12-14). He really thought he was God's gift and eroded my self esteem. It gives me great pleasure, 20 years later, to hear that he is fat and bald.

I am now married to a lovely man who thinks I am utterly wonderful.