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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

what was the worst thing anyone ever said to you...

202 replies

Snapespeare · 04/03/2011 13:27

...in the context of a relationship breakdown..?

mine was, finding out my ex had been screwing around behind my back, having a huge fight and his parting shot was, 'no man will ever want you now! i mean, single parent - three kids!' Hmm

I'm pretty sure he isn't the biggest c*nt out there! :) (and i do know it wasn't true!) But i really think it's cathartic to write it down...

alternatively, what was the worst thing you ever said? ( I of course, am a paragon of virtue and have never said anything mean or cheap!)

OP posts:
Anushka11 · 06/03/2011 22:48

All ExP
you are a bad mother, you care more about your job then me and the children (I was only breadwinner)
manbitch
look in the mirror- you are fat, old and past it, why would I want to stay with you
you are so difficult, you drive me to it, no man could ever live with you
she is not your friend, she is your gay lover (when I spent more time with a friend due to home situation)
you are possessed by the devil, I have to hit you to exorcise you Shock (ok, he was WAY gone- spent months in a psych hospital after that-- bipolar. VVV scary btw, as so irrational)
many more I can't remember now, don't think these are the worst.

QueeferSutherland · 06/03/2011 23:55

Oh god, some of these are terrible.Sad

My mum to 10yo me; "You're no oil painting".

Bumblequeen · 07/03/2011 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumblequeen · 07/03/2011 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

AboardtheAxiom · 07/03/2011 11:44

While I was with ex and not planning on leaving Hmm he asked me to describe the details of how my dad sexually abused me, and then replied is that all!?" Shock Angry I did leave him readers, and how surprising... I am HAPPY Grin

slug · 07/03/2011 11:49

"Your degree is worth about as much as a piece of toilet paper" From xboyfriend who was (I think) slightly peeved at the far better grades I got.

Years later, when I did an MSc in his subject (with distinction may I add), and gained entry into the professional organisation he spent years struggling to gain the qualificatons for, I sent him a cheery note announcing my academic success. Revenge, a dish served very, very cold Grin

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/03/2011 11:59

A plague of genital boils on all these bastards Angry

mummery · 07/03/2011 12:08

I'm going through this right now. ExP (father of DS) just this morning, "You need to see a shrink, I'm calling social services."

Plus threatening to take him from school without my knowledge ("I don't need to beg your permission to see my son").

Same guy who 8 yrs ago sent me off to my 12 wk scan with the words "Let's just hope you have a miscarriage, it'll be better for all of us," and has called me evil, a cunt, a fucking bitch, twisted, a liar, autistic (??) and many other things in the interim.

I phoned the police once for advice and they advised me to make a formal report but I didn't because I didn't want to make things acrimonious, for DS's sake. More fool me Sad

(Also once dated a genuine psychopath, won't go into it here but he came round one morning about an hour after I'd got a phonecall saying my Nan had died (she raised me from childhood). I told him this and his response was....

"Can I skin up?"

Ignored the event totally. Sadly I didn't throw him out immediately despite the glaring clue as to what was a fully fledged personality disorder.)

AboardtheAxiom · 07/03/2011 12:13

Yes I'm yet another one with an abusive childhood, who went on to have an abusive relationship. Sad I wish I had picked a better man to have a child with. Sad

noluck · 07/03/2011 15:41

My still DH (don't ask me) many years ago, when, drunk, he was explaining to me that because of his love for me, I needed to know that he loved someone else (still following me??) : "When you get home from work in the evening, I'm disappointed that you haven't been killed in a car accident" I will NEVER forgive or forget, he says that he can't remember saying that....I must of misunderstood...yeah, right....

hogshead · 07/03/2011 15:52

my ex always had a few choice words to say when we were together so I shouldnt have been surprised when he became really verbally abusive when we split up.

By that time I had learnt to nod and smile and not rise to the bait (which was always what he wanted) The funniest thing he shouted at my retreating back was "and you f*ing killed my cheese plant!!"

Yes, yes I did indeed kill the horrible cheese plant when I put it and the rest of his naff belongings in the garage after months of him refusing to collect them.

FourFortyFour · 07/03/2011 16:34

SadShock noluck Sad.

electra · 07/03/2011 16:47

Some of these things are unbelievable Sad Absolutely dreadful. I think I'm lucky not to have been on the receiving end of anything like some of these...

WherecanIhide · 07/03/2011 18:22

Two weeks after my husband dumped me after 21 years:

"I've left you, get over it, move on!"

shimmerysilverglitter · 07/03/2011 18:36

noluck how can you still be with this man? Sad. Awful.

Who are these people, what makes them like this?

memphis83 · 07/03/2011 18:47

i kicked out my exh as he was a fraudster and 6 weeks later i had a stroke, i hadto call him still slurring due to the stroke to say i couldnt write divorce papers as i had a stroke he laughed and said 'oh I had a lucky escape their' i sold our house and made him sign his share over to me had a great year rehabilitating then blew all of it having fun!! I now have a great boyfriend and a baby they said i would never be able to have!! the best revenge is being happy!

tuftedduck · 07/03/2011 20:03

a mild one by comparison...

someone I had a couple of dates with a couple of years ago (dipping post-divorce toes in the water) told me that I reminded him of his aunt, she didn't take much care of herself either .

It was the "either" that bothered me the most. His point was that I didn't/don't wear enough make-up for his liking. It turned out he preferred his women clawped in orange foundation. Grin

I have now have an anti-tosser radar in place.

TheShriekingHarpy · 07/03/2011 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Magicjamas · 07/03/2011 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

macdoodle · 07/03/2011 22:20

My XH found me "repulsive" apparantly, his reason for having an affair.
fat cunt, fucking cow, psycho etc etc
God am so glad he is XH Grin

BibiBlocksberg · 07/03/2011 22:35

That hair on your chin makes you really disgusting to me - this from a 20' stone 35 year old dating a 20 year old me Hmm

You don't know how to keep man like me happy

You're alright with your clothes on but naked all of my ex girlfriends look better than you.

Men can look however they want and women still fancy them.

'I thought you said she was pretty, she's very plain' - said by same guy's best friend when I met him for the first time. And the twat actually agreed with his mate and I felt bad Shock

'If I had my gun on me you'd be dead right now' My birth father supported by my birth mother when I was aged 8.

Still nowhere near as bad as most of the posters on this thread have had to listen to, truly shocking!

All from the same 'prize' specimen of a man.

garlicbutter · 08/03/2011 01:32

Was that Captain Nobber, Bibi?

CheerfulYank · 08/03/2011 01:53

Oh...my...GOD!

I hate all of these people and second what Chicken said!

ledkr · 08/03/2011 02:17

Ex h of 18yrs and 4 kids upon me confronting him about his "affair" with a 16yr old girl;"you should be gratefull i dont hit you,lots of men hit their wives" i knocked out his front tooth! Sorry dont condone violence but hello!

BibiBlocksberg · 08/03/2011 05:21

No garlicbutter, those are all from his predecessor 'king' nobber

The captain would never have had the energy to think of such insults otherwise I might have left him sooner :)

I wondered where that sentence at the bottom of my last post got to. iPod typing, tsk