Mother when I was 12 and struggling with what we now know was the onset of severe depression possibly related to my thyroid disease and I had sweated on it for months and finally reached out for help by saying "I think I am depressed" responded "don't be stupid, you're not depressed. You don't know what depression is!" in angry tone. It isn't actually so bad in isolation but if she had taken me seriously then it might have stopped a cascade of events which really messed up my life in many ways and it was the first time I had ever opened up to her so it caused me not to open up to her again until recently and even now I struggle.
A friend after I told my friends I was pregnant for the second time to the abusive man who had just left me said: "well if he was that bad why has she got pregnant again, that was a bit stupid, wasn't it?!" they knew he had been abusing me and I was in women's aid but I don't think they knew I had been being sexually abused or that the baby was a rape baby so again, understandable but a very hurtful thing to hear at the time.
XP said to magistrate in family court that rape baby wasn't his and he didn't want to see her. Said I had cheated on him on a weekend away with my friend and our two children and it was physically impossible for her to be his. When eventually about to be court order DNA tested he said to his solicitor in front of me and his sister "well if she remembers the conception so clearly I suppose it must be true"
He also stole our rent money (mine and our two housemates) for 6 months and instead of giving it to our landlady used it to go out drinking all night and sleeping around (sometimes with girls as young as fourteen). He once told me it was because I was boring and needy. I OD'd he came in the ambulance apparently but when I woke up he was gone and I had to make my own way home from the hospital in my dressing gown and bare feet with no money and covered in charcoal sick the next day to find him packing to go away for the weekend.
We found out when the landlady tried to kick us out, he had also stolen one of the housemate's debit cards and cleared her bank account ordering pizza online when he was on a bender. I came home one day to find our house empty (all our furniture was mine) and anything that was left cut up. He told his mum I had stolen the card and his stuff had been taken/damaged and she hit me and threw a glass of wine in my face so had to be removed from the pub.
He stole a ring from me and gave it to his mum then told me I was imagining it.
He used to cut up my stuff while I was at work and tell me I must have done it.
He told me the reason he didn't want anything to do with our baby son was that he was boring and "didn't do anything for him".
Despite having great women's ad support via our children's centre at the time, and being told that he had been sexually abusing me, for years I believed that was how sexual relationships should be conducted and it is only now, after I have been happily married that I have realised the real truth of the situation.