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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what was the worst thing anyone ever said to you...

202 replies

Snapespeare · 04/03/2011 13:27

...in the context of a relationship breakdown..?

mine was, finding out my ex had been screwing around behind my back, having a huge fight and his parting shot was, 'no man will ever want you now! i mean, single parent - three kids!' Hmm

I'm pretty sure he isn't the biggest c*nt out there! :) (and i do know it wasn't true!) But i really think it's cathartic to write it down...

alternatively, what was the worst thing you ever said? ( I of course, am a paragon of virtue and have never said anything mean or cheap!)

OP posts:
NorthernSky · 04/03/2011 19:41

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Snapespeare · 04/03/2011 19:43

oopsa. i had a professional one of those, i wouldn't break the law, 'i hope you get cancer and it takes a long time for you to die'.

lilac! Sad

afciea! what? all three of them? (inches)

OP posts:
carlywurly · 04/03/2011 19:50

After finding out about XH's affair and starting to talk about how we'd split finances etc.

"I might go for custody of the dc's, it would give you a few weeks of stress." WTF? He'd already caused so much and knew I'd done nothing to deserve it.

We have a fairly civil relationship now but I'll never ever forgive or forget that one. I'm really proud that I never sunk to his level.

NorthernSky · 04/03/2011 19:53

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xkittyx · 04/03/2011 19:56

"You putting on all that weight made it easier to dump you", a few weeks after ex-P and I had split up.
Actually that wasn't the worst thing he said by a long shot. And the him dumping me bit was a retrospective history rewrite on his part.

BellaMagnificat · 04/03/2011 20:02

" No. I'm cooking my breakfast."

When I fell over in agony with my back in spasm in the kitchen and asked ex - P to please help me quickly.

"I wish she was dead and you were my REAL daughter"

Mother to my half-sister when, aged 19, I did something my mother violently disapproved of.

Over both now though :)

carlywurly · 04/03/2011 20:08

NorthernSky - spooky. Another non verbal dc here, and XH remained in denial for years about that one. He couldn't even name their teachers this week when asked.

SkipToTheEnd · 04/03/2011 20:08

"I'm glad you've ended it, I was starting to feel like you're getting too old for me anyway"

errr.... I was 17! (he was 27, been together 2 years)

but his best line was "what did you do to my babies?" said to me whilst I was being told at my scan that I'd had a missed mc with my twin pregnancy and they'd stopped growing several weeks before.

and my worst line? "don't do it in the lounge - the carpets new" Said to above Ex after he'd threatened to cut himself if I left to visit my sister. (was an almost daily threat)

robberbutton · 04/03/2011 20:13

Not a partner one, but when I was struggling after finding out about H's affair, MiL told H that she thought I was doing such a bad job looking after the kids, she'd thought about calling social services.

She hadn't offered to help at all of course. Not sure I'll ever forget that one :(

YankNCock · 04/03/2011 20:18

It's nothing compared to what some of you have gone through, but devastating at the time.

Aged 25 I was hospitalised for depression just over the weekend and got my ADs changed. The boyfriend who 'loved' me dumped me over the phone while I was in hospital, and explained later that he 'didn't want to get dragged down' with me.

Had we just started dating maybe that wouldn't have been so bad, but it had been over a year and we were quite serious (or so I thought). And it's not like mental health issues were a foreign concept to him, he had a degree in psychology!

Anyway, the new meds kicked in quickly and it was his loss for not sticking around. Dickhead.

NorthernSky · 04/03/2011 20:20

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Guitargirl · 04/03/2011 20:21

One ex-boyfriend told me I would never be happy.

Another one told me I would have a 'pretty good figure if you would just do some exercise'.

Hmm
ScarlettWalking · 04/03/2011 20:25

I think it was when my Mother said when DD was a few weeks old, PND, butchered at the birth, having a really shit time DD lost 13% of bw

"No wonder DD had failure to thrive on your crappy milk" Sad

she denies saying it, as always.....

knitknack · 04/03/2011 20:26

"you're quite pretty in the dark"

melezka · 04/03/2011 20:27

XP trying to play the pity card after mutual break-up.
Me: "XP, I did not break up with you, we broke up with each other."
XP: "Yeah, but that was only because there was a girl in (Y place) I wanted to sleep with."

And at my wedding to DH, XP moaning to my friends in a kind of "shoulda been me" way: "I had it all planned, I was going to set up this business and Melezka could be my secretary."
Friends: "You could still do that."
XP: "Yeah, but I'd have to pay her now."

I should point out that we'd been together for 13 years, the relationship had run its course, and friends and I knew how self-obsessed he was. It was like a joke by then and we all laughed in a fond kind of way. It wasn't hurtful like so many of these. Some of these are just the work of properly cruel people Sad

garlicbutter · 04/03/2011 20:29

Several exes: "You're no spring chicken, I'm the best you'll get now." - Ah, so you're the last chance saloon, are you, buster? Grin

Insane boss: "I've taken this work off you because you're too fucking thick to handle it" - bellowed at full volume in a large, open-plan office. Hmm

Ex mother-in-law: "I always thought you were too sensitive" - she didn't finish: to be married to a deluded, arrogant arsehole like my son. Wink

Best friend: "You think you're god's gift but you're mental and nobody likes you" - jury's out; either she was right or she was projecting!

melezka · 04/03/2011 20:30

I, on the other hand, told DH when we were dating that if he didn't sort himself out he would end up an old man sitting in a corner smelling of wee. Reader, he married me.

brookeslay · 04/03/2011 20:30

This man I went out with was always putting me down. I didn`t dress right, nothing looked right.

He friend was chatting to me of course he wouldn`t be interested in someone like you.. wrinkly and old. I had slighty tired eyes one night and I was 25 !.

He pointed to other women and said why don`t you look like that loudly ?

If I got a pre menstrual spot I might have well had the pox as he said people like you should not have spots why have got a spot ?.

When he visted my sisters he walked around the place critiscing the photos saying the Lladro was fake it wasn`t.

This from an overweight , short probably bald by now man. I woke up most days in tears.. I was well shot

garlicbutter · 04/03/2011 20:31

Shock melezka! Humour's the only way to deal, isn't it?!

melezka · 04/03/2011 20:33

I'm afraid it still makes me laugh.

garlicbutter · 04/03/2011 20:34

"you're quite pretty in the dark" ~ reminded me of the guy who said "I can't figure you out, you're a bit porky but I fancy you"! (I went home alone that night.)

melezka · 04/03/2011 20:35

Ha! Meaning: "I can't figure myself out, I'm feeling attracted to a woman as an entire person...what's going wrong with me?"

YankNCock · 04/03/2011 20:39

omg, just remembered the rebound shag guy from after ex of previous post had dumped me:

'you're not as thin or pretty as the girls I usually date, I couldn't have you meet my friends because they'd make fun of me' or something like that.

Yeah, and you're a waiter who doesn't 'do' oral sex. Jog on, fuckwit.

Newbabynewmum · 04/03/2011 20:40

"I was embarrassed to be seen with you" .... My EXP still maintains this is an ok thing to think, say and reiterate to me despite the fact he wants us to get back together (as if!)

"if you slept with someone else the only thing id care about is if you changed the bedsheets" same EXP - after around a year of living together

Phew. That was quite therapeutic. Thanks. God knows why I stayed with him for years or how he thinks he's a decent man.

Missile · 04/03/2011 21:01

My second long term boyfriend had, to be fair in hindsight, been trying to shake me off for weeks...and I was clinging on to the tail end of our relationship.

He finally sat me down, told me gently again, it was over for good, and when I still bleated on not to say it he simply said "I've never been so miserable in my entire life".

I got the message then... although we did break-up shag several more times over the months...