I found some porn in my bathroom

[Stupiditysquared]

.. and asked the DCs if they'd downloaded it.

This was a pretty stupid thing to do. Nuclear war has erupted. The trouble was that in 18 years of marriage, DH has never used porn (so far as I am aware). He never normally goes into that bathroom, whereas the DCs do. Also I did not know that he'd been at home. It never occurred to me that it was him.

Now DD is screaming at her father that he is a filthy pervert. He's screaming at me for being stupid, which in fairness it was. And I'm in shock really.

What next

in 18 years one slip up isn't many.

Anything could have made him forget, the phone could have rang, a knock at the door or it just slipped his mind as he was thinking of something else.

It happens and i wouldn't read anything sinister into it without something else to support it.

I completely agree that the DH is behaving like a twat, frankly, and that he was an arse to have shouted at the OP/not admitted he was wrong/whatever else.

I also think they, as a couple, need to discuss their attitudes to porn and if OP finds it unacceptable (as she appears to) then this needs sorting from that point of view.

BUT
I'm not convinced that you can seriously say from the info provided that the DH had any sinister motives in using what sounds like the main bathroom in the house. He could have had any number of reasons - maybe he'd just taken a smelly dump in the en suite so didn't want to wash in there (semi kidding!)? Or, maybe the en suite only has a shower and he wanted a bath so took advantage of an empty house to use the proper bathroom - not exactly a crazy scenario either.

I don't think there is enough info given to be assuming that he did it deliberately for whatever reason.

why are people determined to rubbish the Op's testimony ?

this was the teenager's bathroom, that they use invariably and he does not

she said it

more than once

several people reflected it back to her

she didn't correct them

what more convincing do people need that this isn't an "unusual" scenario, at the very least ?

She was wrong that he doesn't use porn so she can be equally wrong he doesn't use that bathroom.

testimony ??? bit strong there as this is no court of law

people don't tend to hide their (usual) bathroom use

they do hide their porn use, however

I wonder why...

cantspel, your point is very weak

don't be reactionary cantspel, just because your points are getting clobbered

I'm not rubbishing it, I'm just saying that even if he normally doesn't his use could still be perfectly innocent. My DH showers as standard so would automatically use the en-suite day to day. He maybe has a bath once a year!

Is it really so much more feasible that he did this deliberately than that he came home, realised he had an hour or two to kill before be had to go out, had house to himself and thought bonus, I'll take advantage, have a soak in the tub (and a wank!) without any thought of "this is the kids bathroom" I'll leave my porn here?!?!

nor do people tend to monitor someone elses bathroom use. Does she follow him everytime he leaves the room to use the bathroom, do dna checks on the loo pan and shower unit? Of couse she doesn't and can have no idea how often he uses that bathroom. She could assume he uses their bathroom
as maybe he uses thst one when the children are home but when they are out any loo is fair game.

yes, the children's bathroom is fair game for wanking in, I'll give you that

Peter reactionary? i am just disagreeing with you and your terminology.
I think you are just getting a wee bit carried away and reading to much into this.

you are entitled to your opinion

Just because she thinks of it as the childrens bathroom it doesn't mean he views it the same way.

you are disputing her then

why didn't you just say that ?

I have said all along she could be srong.

If she had said it was the childrens ensuite then i could understand her thinking he doesn't use it but she just calls it a bathroom so most likely not.
Maybe their bathroom is an ensuite which he uses more often when they are together as it is nearer their bedroom. Maybe one bathroom only has a shower and he likes to wank in the bath. Who knows but unless the op comes back and tells us it was an ensuite which is unlikely if she sees it a both childrens bathroom and she has teenagers of each sex i cant see any thing sinister in his choice of bathroom.

You might not agree with the use of porn or even mastribation but neither makes you a pervert or sexual preditor.

Cantspel the OP already explained the bathroom situation further upthread.

Her H has exclusive use of their ensuite, she shares main bathroom with the kids.

Seems strange that he'd choose there when he has his own bog.

missed that one but an ensuite is usually a loo and shower. From where the picture was found it looks like he had his wank in the bath and maybe he just prefers to lie back have a soak and a wank at the same time. He has probably been doing it for years but this is the first time he has been caught out.

Can we just draw a line under this and all agree the OP needs to MOVE ON AND GET OVER IT!!!!!

plasticgeordieman the first sensible post in 14 pages

Takes a bow

cantspel you are very sure of your opinions about porn... but so am I. And using porn does make you a pervert IMHO.
Its degrading, dehumanising, exploitative and about as sexy as watching any other animal fuck.
IMHO to enjoy and watch porn you do have to have developed what are to me perverted attitudes towards sex.
Just wanted to demonstrate that there are opposing views to yours.

Pickago every second 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography and every second 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines!

So, that's a lot of 'perverts' out there Live and let live I say!

Just cos a lot of the braindead masses do it don't make it right.