I found some porn in my bathroom

[Stupiditysquared]

.. and asked the DCs if they'd downloaded it.

This was a pretty stupid thing to do. Nuclear war has erupted. The trouble was that in 18 years of marriage, DH has never used porn (so far as I am aware). He never normally goes into that bathroom, whereas the DCs do. Also I did not know that he'd been at home. It never occurred to me that it was him.

Now DD is screaming at her father that he is a filthy pervert. He's screaming at me for being stupid, which in fairness it was. And I'm in shock really.

What next

A bit late for that when the Dad is screaming "he has done nothing wrong". Like leaving images for his DD to find......okkkkkkkkkkk then

totally wrong PeterAndre, when did I say you should sweep it under the carpet?

I meant to say don't second guess the situation until OP herself has worked out what's going on! Help her work through this by all means, but plant the idea he is abusing is just too awful - how do you know?? - you have NO proof he's doing this. N.B. I'm not referring to you perse, just posts on this thread.

The fact she posted here meant she wasn't planning to sweep it under the carpet, no?

The thing is squeaky, many people (including myself and OP's DD) believe that users of porn are, by definition, perverts. Therefore she doesn't need to know the content of the pictures to draw the conclusion that her father is a pervert.

So that would be the vast majority of most probaby the male population (and possibly the female population too) then Loopy?

I wouldn't call a swathe of the population perverts because they look at porn. that's a bit weird in my opinion.

I'd also be interested in knowing how users of porn are 'by definition' perverts? Is it in the Oxford English?

Shit, I watched porn with DP a couple of months back. They didn't look trafficked, but who knows.

For anyone who's interested, it was hilarious. Too many moustaches etc., but I'm horried to think I am now 'by definition' a pervert.

I don't know what the statistics are thb. wig. But yes, in my humble opinion, people who use porn are perverted (or incredibly stupid). DH used to, and when I discovered it I was revolted, then taught him about the real implications of the porn industry. As he now understands, if he were to use it again I would consider him to be a pervert.

As to the rest of the male population, I hope that this doesn't include the vast majority. Having said that, I have little faith in the morals of a great number of people.

I probably answered you Dittany with my cross post.

If you read my post, wig, the "by definition" part is related to a belief. I believe, according to my definition, that users of porn are perverted. So yes, in my definition, according to my belief structure, you are indeed a pervert.

But Loopy do you know the statistics of people who watch porn on line?

I embarrassingly admit I don't know exactly, but I do know it's high.

To call every person a pervert who watches something that is so highly accessible in this day and age is...actually I don't know what that is...am thinking

lol I am a Pervert - wonderful!
Loopy you have made me laugh, I won't take offence

wig....I don't know where you get your "huge swathes of the population" being extreme porn users from

unless you are using it to justify your own porn use

in which case, I understand

would you leave evidence of it lying around in a teenager's territory though ?

a teenager's bathroom is an intimate place, where intimate and private things take place

being confronted with your own father's porn use in that arena is fucked-up, no question about it

As I said above, I don't know the statistics.

I also believe that people who vote Tory are selfish twats, and that people who drive 4x4s but live in the city are wasteful nobbers. No amount of statistical data could persuade me otherwise. Just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it right.

Peter, as I pointed out further above, no porn apart from once in the last few months, I make no apologies for that.

As I said my initial reasons for posting were not to say that it was fine (obviously not fine to leave porn pics in family bathroom). My point was to say don't judge and hang the person before you know all the facts.

And now, I'm going to take my Perverted Self off to bed...this constitutes a night out for me

a teenager's bathroom is an intimate place, where intimate and private things take place

yeah the teenager probably takes a wank there too.

The man got caught out with his wank material so big deal. The teenagers will get over it and he will be a bit more careful to dispose of the evidence in furture.

cantspel..can you explain then why the father took his own wank material into his children's territory

and left it there

he has his own territory

why did he feel the need to invade his childrens ?

and the teenagers are not at fault here...they haven't left "evidence" of anything

their father has...in their intimate place

The thing is, most people don't know and aren't educated about the grim realities of the porn industry - (as an aside i don't think it's as black and white an issue as some make out - there are increasing numbers of porn actresses and female directors wielding increasing power and influence in the US porn industry although that doesn't mitigate the horrible and real exploitation trafficked and vulnerable girls in Europe) - so they just consume it as a visceral thing without much thought to where it comes from.

Personally it does nothing for me to see a woman exaggeratedly faking while being contorted into positions that cannot possibly be pleasurable or erotic. However, I'm a bit of a voyeur and do enjoy watching porn made by consenting couples who are genuinely into each other and get off on the exhibitionism. Am I a perv for being a voyeur? Or is that just a subtlety of human sexuality? Does it become perversion when the images are designed to depict degradation and violent sexuality? (think i just answered my own question there actually - why someone would find that a turn on is disturbing).

Regardless, OP's H was at best massively, stupidly careless and is being a real wanker about getting busted. His aggression towards the OP is totally unjustified.

It is not his childrens territory. It is just a bathroom in their house and he probably just went into the nearest one, did what he needed to do put the picture down to wash up and then forgot to clear it way. It happens, people get distracted by something and he made a mistake.

Had he been having a wank in his daughters bed then yes call him a pervert but not a bathroom.

the OP already said he never uses that particular bathroom, CS

didn't you read the thread ?

but she also thought he didn't use porn so i have no faith in the fact that she knows for a fact that he never uses that bathroom. I have been married 20 years and dont monitor my husbands bathroom use so i doubt she does either.

when you live in the same house, you tend to get a sense for which rooms people use

are you doubting the OP, cantspel, she is the one who said he "never uses that room"

he has his own bathroom, that he invariably uses

apart from when he is wanking to spit-roasting pics obvs