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Original poster

I found some porn in my bathroom

1002 replies

Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 12:58

.. and asked the DCs if they'd downloaded it.

This was a pretty stupid thing to do. Nuclear war has erupted. The trouble was that in 18 years of marriage, DH has never used porn (so far as I am aware). He never normally goes into that bathroom, whereas the DCs do. Also I did not know that he'd been at home. It never occurred to me that it was him.

Now DD is screaming at her father that he is a filthy pervert. He's screaming at me for being stupid, which in fairness it was. And I'm in shock really.

What next

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 15:12

why would anyone print it off?????

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 15:13

Your (teenage) daughter is upset because her Dad left his wank material in the toilet she uses. Hardly suprising is it?

You need sanity in your house? No you need to have a good, friendly chat with your DD. Things are hard enough for teenage girls as it is, let alone getting the blame for the wank fodder her own Dad left in the toilet she uses.

Show some understanding towards her. Get over your own shock that your husband has used porn and show some support for you dd.

Like I say poor kids.

Tortington · 19/02/2011 15:18

i think a conversation with your dd is important, as she clearly needs some perspective.

and your dh must be more than mortified at his own stupidity.

Tortington · 19/02/2011 15:19

i think orinting it off to take to the bathroom was a sensible move if your going to have a wank.

the stupidity is in leaving it in the bathroom

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 15:21

Apologise to your dd on your on behalf

make dure DH apologises on his behalf

neither of you come out of this with any glory

is he shouting at her ?

not acceptable, IMO

I also think it a bi weird he left his wank pics in the dc's bathroom, which is one he doesn't normally use

why would he do that ?

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 15:24

Why not have a wank in the privacy of your bedroom when nobody else is in the house though....

Got to say, if I had a teenage son in the house, I would be more inclined to have suspected him first rather than my husband, and I certainly wouldnt have thought it to be my daughter.

But as the husband has admitted it.. then he is a bit of a prat really.... and no doubt feel mortified at getting caught out.

I think a quiet mum to daughter chat is in order to explain that dad isnt a pervert, that masturbation is quite natural, and soft porn is often used to aid masturbation (if she is in her teens it isnt really going to come as a huge shock to her)...

Original poster
Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 15:32

She is a teenager and we've had a chat about use of porn.

She told me that most of the boys in her year talk about porn and use it.

DH is far from mortified right now but I think he will be when he comes to his senses

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 15:34

Oh I am sure he is mortified underneath this show of transferring blame.. lol!!

I dont think you were stupid at all... there could be any number of reasons that teens would print porn off.. and suspecting your husband would probably have been my last thought too in the circumstances...

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 15:35

Your dh's reaction would therefore concern me if I were in your situation tbh.

Original poster
Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 15:53

No he's not shouting at her

She's shouting at him, and he's shouting at me

Think there is a bit of blame transference. Thankfully DS went out this morning and is not due back for a couple of hours. We might be able to talk normally by then. Or maybe not.

I don't feel particularly comfortable with DH using porn. I know lots of people do, but it gets caught up in my mind with seediness, exploitation of economically vulnerable etc I guess this is something we're going to have to talk about

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 16:00

How old is DS?

Original poster
Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 16:07

13, why? He doesn't do big emotional shouty scenes. Neither do I, although i seem to be caught up in one today. DH and DD both don't hold back

But actually the reason I think I was being stupid is that the pictures were printed on both sides of the paper. This hasn't occurred to DH but if i had stopped and thought for a nano-second, I would have realised that neither of the DCs ever print on both sides of the paper, whereas DH always does.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 19/02/2011 16:15

Where in the bathroom did you find it? I'd be worried there was more elsewhere!

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 16:18

I only asked because if he was 15 /16 he would be likely to find it all rather amusing... he probably still will at 13 I suppose...

I just wondered if he was a younger child, coming home to the atmosphere would be harder to explain...

I suspect your daughter will be only too happy to fill him in on what has happened though.... lol!!!

It will certainly be one to bring up in years to come..

"remember that time Mum found Dads porn stash in the bathroom" Grin

Original poster
Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 16:18

The bath is under the window and there is a tiled area running around it for bits and bobs - candles, bath oil, soap etc.

Only this time, nestling between two candles, there were pictures of improbably dimensioned people doing things you wouldn't want your mother to know about...

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 16:22

you are over egging it, love

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 16:25

Lol, you mean people were actually having sex!!!

Ohhhhhhhmyghooooooooddzzzzzz.

Sorry I just couldn't help it. You have issues with sex in your house, I can tell.

Original poster
Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 16:27

We've more or less got back to normality I think.

But there are a few issues to talk about here. Not sure I feel happy with the porn use.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 16:30

There are a lot worse things than a bloke having a crafty wank to a bit of porn.. you may have issues with it, but it doesnt mean he has to.

He should have been more careful with his evidence.. but he hasnt comitted any crime.

Original poster
Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 16:32

I dunno. Why do you think we (or obviously just me) have issues around sex? I've always rather enjoyed it.

Doesn't mean I want to see pictures of what is most likely to be a trafficked woman giving a blowjob to what must have been a digitally enhanced bloke whilst being taken from behind. Just doesn't do anything for me.

Can you tell those pictures are living with me?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 16:35

well no, but it clearly did something for him.. lol...

and not necessarily a trafficked woman.. there are plenty untrafficked ones who dont mind doing it for the money it pays...

medicalmayhem · 19/02/2011 16:38

if the OP really didn't know that her husband uses porn then she has a right to be utterly shocked, i was the very first time i found my ex's stash, i had no idea, we had a good sex life and i never realised at the time that a grown happily (recently) married man still needed to wank several times week, so cut her some slack, and i expect the DD has had her perception of her father changed completely and suddenly in an eruption of shouting and nastiness, how awful for her,this will take some sorting out if they are to continue to carry on as a family, and have respect for each other, i have to say though if it was me i would of had a word with DH first b4 announcing it to the family,

Butterbur · 19/02/2011 16:40

This is nothing new. My best friend and I found her dad's porn stash in his bedroom when we were still at primary school. In those days it was all magazines.

I can't even remember the occasion, so I doubt it scarred me. It seems to have been more traumatic for my mum though.

medicalmayhem · 19/02/2011 16:44

butterbur was it your dad or someone elses,? i found a friends dads magazine in their family bathroom once, it was proudly sat there in the paper rack along with their comics and stuff, nothing too offensive back then (over 30 years ago)and i laughed at it, but i do remeber feeling glad it wasnt my dad that had that sort of stuff lying around, so it didnt have too much of an effect on me,

TeiTetua · 19/02/2011 16:45

I feel toe-curling embarrassment thinking of how any of the three of you must feel about this.

The moral of the story is, whatever any of us do, we must make sure the evidence is well and truly hidden.

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