Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.2

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

well done getting! Result.
Got DD2 home from hospital. she is feeling very sad. We were listening to radio on way home and Adele playing at the Brits last night was on, god how sad, was in tears myself and looked over my shoulder and there was daughter in tears. REally should not listen to emotional music. odd how i try to come across all brave but do have v sad moments here. guess it is the weather analogy again.

It's all good music to cry to though ,let it all out,work thru it,I embraced it I still do ,feel it ,pour it out then leave another piece of baggage behind.biggest gift I have learned is how to let go of negative experiences.
I was like marleys flipping ghost before- making myself another link of chain and adding it to my bundles.

Just trying to catch up. Head spinning with way too much crap from xp, job interview, car insurance, dog ate my seatbelts, impending court case. You know, the usual day to day stuff .
Offschool, glad that dd is back home following op. Trying to guess what she's had done and am guessing PEG or similar? Not being nosey but conscious that you don't always post about her because you think you shouldn't but want to reiterate what others have said - that you absolutely should. Not sure about the significance of Adele because I'm almost an old fogey now.
Off to catch up now x

Congatulations Getting - yeah baby!
Off - sorry DD2 is sad - that Adele song is one of my favourites and I've put it on my ipod but I can't always listen to it as it often sends me into wailing (especially when in the car on my own) so it isn't just you! And I will also say again - please feel free to talk about your lovely daughters anytime you bloody well like. We are a great support for each other in all areas of our lives on here :)
Patience - lovin lovin the Marley analogy
Starting - some news on your field trip. Was on a really interesting course this morning on a thing called Neurolinguistic Programming which is basically about persuading people to do what you want them to do and getting them to think more positively. Anyway, the very charismatic bloke who was giving the talk is the world expert on NLP and he was great. He told us that there is this area of the brain called the RES (can't remember what it stands for) but it's the bit that buzzes when you generate new ideas or have to cope with change and it influences people getting into habits, positive or negative. So he said that what you should do when facing a challenge or wanting to change or dealing with a problem is to think backwards i.e. what do I want to happen in the future? Where would I like to be? What will it feel like when I get there? See yourself in the future looking back on to yourself now. So I said "How interesting, my friend is reading a book about how to get into a good relationship and she is conducting a field study, where she thinks of the qualities she wants in a partner and then looks for those qualities" and he said this was scientifically and neurologically the very best thing to do He said have you ever noticed tha when your mind is occupied on something, so for example if you have just bought a flash new phone, you see other people with phones like yours and notice articles about that phone etc everywhere? Or when you are heartbroken you see happy couples everywhere? That's because this RES part of your brian is preoccupied with a certain idea so you notice that idea in different contexts everywhere, as your brian is particularly sensitive to that thing. So he said that if you think about the qualities you want in a partner in the future and how you want ot feel (about anything) in the future, your brain will hone in on this and you will start to notice people with those qualities everywhere. And just as happened to you today, if you deliberately think of a certain way you want to feel, you will unconsciously put yourself in positions where this becomes possible. Good eh?
So you have scientific backup from a world expert. I'm on the case now too!
Hi Elsie. Sorry about your crap day but lol at dog eating seatbelts (even though this is also shit)

Ggm I agree ,u think of ur vision first.don't worry about how u get to it. The steps inbetween will just happen because u believe in ur vision.
Feeling really nauseous tonite, dd ill today,Ds back to doc tomorrow,nite x

Oh how crap Patience - I hate tummy bugs more than anything and feeling sick without being sick really slows you down. Hope you all get better soon x I'm going to look into this NLP thing more. It's very interesting and I think it could help loads with negative thoughts - a bit like CBT but more detailed

Off, glad your dd is back home with you & hope you've managed to master the new thing you were being trained on today. Agree with ET post anything that helps ((Hugs)) to you both.

ET, sorry to hear you're being challanged atm!

Goo, lol at you telling expert about your friend's field trip . Wow I'm so impressed to have the backing of an expert . It's given me a new lease of life lol. The visualising field trip will continue & I will have my soul mate in my life any day now

Missed the last two posts in my excitement about the field trip lol

Patience, sorry to hear you & dc's are sick, hopefully you'll all be on the mend tomorrow.

Goo, please share any useful findings

Evening all

Skimmed posts, all v interesting.

I should have wise words to say about alpha but a bit tired tbh. All was good, plenty of healthy chat and lively debate. One guy said he was wondering about cbt and whether this was an alternative to christianity. I said I thought it was possible to do either or both. I think he was a male dumpling.

Hello everyone, DD very poorly with a nasty cold, DS now better from his bought of diarrhoea over the weekend, living on caffeine and little sleep tbh. But just had a skim read whilst having a

ExH bringing over some more calpol. Maybe he should be nick named the saint too All change when OW moves in no doubt.

Hello everyone,

Tea, Hope DD is feeling better soon ((hugs))
Patience, Same for you hope you and DC are better soon ((hugs))
Off, Glad DD is ok

Am lurking atm, DD is teething and am very exhausted with lack of sleep, now they have broke up for half term i'm hoping that i can rest a bit, if not sleep
Still no word from X, surprise surprise goodness knows when i'll hear from him, i think it's a case of out of sight out of mind, oh well his loss

Take care everyone

Miraculous recovery; she had a big nap this morning and decided she wanted to go and see her friends at nursery today DS is now in bed and I'm going to get some shut eye too whilst I can.

Ah good stuff tea,Ds back on antibiotics back to school Monday .

Waves to sov,
X phoned on Monday we missed it but Ds left a message,phoned on Tuesday I was at kick boxing but have tld him to phone earlier as I'm out now on a Tuesday ,
anyway last night Ds answers the phone and he always puts him on speakerphone so all u hear is "at last I get to speak to u son" I don't know what my son makes of it but I just think he is a whingeing opt out bastard.

Hi everyone

Elsie I hope you are having a better day and things are a bit more under control now !

Hope all poorly/teething dc are on the mend

offschool never worry about writing anything you like on here

goo that was interesting. The therapy I did on and off for a couple of years was a mixture of hypnotherapy and NLP. I found the NLP really really hard to get used to and was quite resistant initially but I have to say the results are far reaching . What I would say though is like so many of these things a lot will depend on the practitioner , I can imagine done badly it would be really bad

Patience enjoy kickboxing and is that how men in Scotland address their male dc "hello son" sounds very old fashioned to me

Well feeling on top dumpling form again , think I am still on high from yesterday

Just had a nice lunch with a friend and now a nice evening with my lovely dc

Probably be back later

hello everyone.
This positive thinking thing sounds good .What is the book called, Starting?
Was very bullying mother and told DD2 she had to go to school today. the operation she has had, Elsie, is not a peg (been there, done that, had it removed in december in fact as she now eats normally) but a minor alteration to her tracheostomy to fit a bigger tube; so her neck feels sore and it hurts to swallow, but she was eating/drinking ok and I felt I just had to go to work. So when her lovely helper arrived at 7.30 this morning I just upped and ran with DD1 and prayed I would not get a phone call at 8 am when the taxi arrived ... got through to gone 12 before they phoned me to get her from school so I did not mind that. She is now in bed with One Tree Hill (an American soap ...) and a large hot chocolate while I am here, making a Tesco order, and doing some work, all at the same time. DD1 does not get back from school till 5.45 so plenty of time.
Will be back later. How on earth would I fit the new man in if I visualised him from out of the ether?!

Getting< i forgot to say congratulations for passing and also weldone on being accepted to do math gcse, i left school with no qualifacations at all and would love to get some.....maybe in the distant future

Off and Tea glad your DC are feeling better

Hate being tired i end up getting emotional when i dont want to , was listening to my ipod whilst cleaning the kitchen and Paolo Nutini's Last Request came on, my eyes filled instantly, couldn't turn the damned thing off either as my hands were wet, it's the first time i have heard it since we split and i hope there comes a time when i will be able to listen to it again without that kind of emotion, i love that song
Now have it stuck in my head and am feeling crappy, hope i can shake this off quickly, it took me by complete surprise as i have been completely indifferent lately re X and me, i didnt think i had any of those kind of emotions left for him.....seems i was wrong, am away to clean more be back later

Aye paolo is a definate test re acceptance and indifference,been there Sov x

Happy, male dumpling sounds v interesting

Tea, hope you caught up on some sleep.

Patience, hope ds is on the mend

Getting, glad you're feeling on top form again

Off, the universe will find a way for you to fit in new man . The website is www.thesecret.com & the books are called either The Secret or The Power by Rhonda Byrne. I've also bought a few others on the laws of attraction for the purposes of my field study . Glad dd is on the mend & that you managed to get to work.

Sov, takes a long time to fully heal ((Hugs)) but you've come a long way v quickly.

Hope everyone is doing well. Nothing of interest to report on the field study to date but did an angel card reading today which said my soul mate is on the way . Well need to get busy now getting a few assignments out of the way to make sure I'll have time for him

Hi everyone.
Sov - sorry you're having a low. I cry at songs much too easily and some of my faves are now linked to exbf which means I can't listen to them at the moment :( Lots of love to you. You do a great job with lots of kids in dificult circumstances x
Starting - loving your continued quest. I will be posting any relevant detail / help on here!
Patience - hope DS is getting there
Tea - hope your ds is also getting better and that you get more sleep tonight. Nothing worse than no sleep.
Well, yesterday after NPD training I was running a course. Was sent to very small room to prepare and only knew that some French teachers were turning up at 1pm. Anyway, waited ages and then a face appeared at the door. It was the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. Would say he was in his late twenties, very tall, slim, dark and obviously handsome (not really my type, I like older craggy blokes but still). He came in and said hello in the most lovely French accent and I was completely overcome with embarrassment. I had to go out and pretend I was getting tea for the course people! Then faffed on in the corridor and eventually went back in, after finding another random room and asking if there was any tea and telling the 2 ladies in there that I was alone in a room with a gorgeous Frenchman, which they found hilarious. Thank God two other people turned up for the course. At the end he said "Do you have an email?" and I gave it to him. Was secretly thatnking a higher power that I'd applied my lippy before he came in lol. How funny who you meet eh? He's on another session I'm running in March. Will have to... wel I don't know what I'll have to do but at least I'll have to wear something decent! :)

fantastique! time to practise your best franglais je pense ...

Well, I am a French teacher you know . Know lots of dirty words. What about this: putain de branleur. Not suitable for course goers but very suitable for exes - means fucking wanker!

Hope DD2 ok tonight love x

ooh goo its raining men with you

offschool hope your dd is ok today

Thanks everyone for your congrats on me passing my exam . Sov look into doing course there is an awful lot of fully funded stuff out there ..maybe google Learndirect who I have done a lot through.

Well last night was shocking . DC had a falling out and I handled it badly resulting in escalating the problem instead of calming things. Then later dd (11 yo) went out to her school last minute to soem dance thing which I agreed to in spite of her earlier vileness on the condition her friends Mum was picking them up afterwards and bringing her home. At 9.45 I rang to see where she was and they were walking home from the school which is a good 20 min walk. Well I went into orbit and completely went OTT shouting swearing just behaving really inappropriatley. I couldnt believe she had lied about the lift home to shut me up and allow her to go.

Anyway this morning I spoke calmly about it and apologised for shouting and my language but had it out with her.

The thing is I know she is nearly 12 and going to change a lot in the next few years and I need to find a way of dealing with that. I get frustrated because I feel I do a lot for her and am actually quite lenient about a lot of stuff so her constant scouring the landscape for the next thing she can do annoys me.

Oh yes and I had my first ever "I'm ringing Dad to go there tonight " which she did but he's away apparently. I was having a pity party last night about how I have to deal with this all on my own while he does what he pleases but I know thats silly as I am much better off having them with me.

Sorry to moan but I feel quite ashamed of my behaviour tbh.

On a lighter note I am about to rebook the same holiday we did in Cornwall last summer , just 5 days this time. Talk to the dc after school and if they are keen will go for it. Remembering getting coasteering older dumplings

Also on an extremely lighter note I think I have found my new house , saw it this morning and I have asked to go back this weekend. I am getting a pre on the market look so this could be it...watch this space

Hope everyones ok

Getting - yes the teens/ near teens push all the buttons. About to read that book about how to talk to your children etc as I feel I need it. Yes and I know Im going to have lots of want to go live dads -as they get away with so much more there. Yay for holiday and Im sure DCs will be keen.

And super yay for possible new house - what is it like and why is it for you? :)

Goo yay for all the men -and super yay for some eye candy :)

Im glad the Secret is doing good to so many :)

Sov - sorry re the emotions coming back. I couldnt listen to music for about 18 months as it was too much for me

Tea - glad DD on mend

I have good and bad news

I have a new baby girl cousin born yesterday which is lovely -looks so sweeet in her photos

Im also in shock as have found out a friend has been convicted in court of theft. Cant write any more but very shocked.

Waves to everyone - have good days!