Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.2

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Wow some 48hrs Maybee
Ggm have u finished its called a break up because its broken yet,wondered if I could get a borrow and post it back to u x

Any other dumplings welcome for Glasgow meet up btw ,don't be shy x

Course you can Patience - I thought it was really good - quite lighthearted but a serious message.
Yeah any others want to join us come on! Can't wait - bit of culture bit of alcohol two lovely ladies and a new city to explore :)
Maybee - sorry about your 48 hours. If it's any consolation, that sounds just like my typical day!!! What is it with women who run schools (in my case). She's got kids herself so you think she would be more sympathetic to other women but if anything she is less so. We're all so stressed by her, all very conscientious and hard working but nothing is good enough. I often feel like I'm on a fairground ride - I can't get off but I really want to, just to stop for one minute and sleep. It's that bad :(
On the plus side, I've realised that I don't feel lonely anymore :) Partly because of the great people on this site, partly because I'm now being more positive about life, taking up offers of friendship, learning to cherish my family more and living in the present time and place - not constantly wishing I was in exbf's village. Just realised today that I'm enjoying my day to day life and interactions so much more. It's such an unexpected benefit of heartbreak - actually feeling more happy and settled in my normal life. Yipee!

Can you wise ladies take a peek at Devastated's post on the ditched thread and advise. It's out of my depth but it sounds so sad.

Evening all & loving all the chat. Was at college all day so just catching up.

Getting, I am in a state of complete & utter that your cousin didn't use a condom! Dear mother of god I thought in this day & age everyone was aware of the dangers. Tbh I had to get tested after realising xh might have exposed me & it was one of my lowest points in this whole sorry mess.

Not wanting to sound judgey but if u don't value UR own health to be able to ask a bloke to wear condoms UR self esteem is v low.IME a woman with good self esteem is in the minority.what do other people think.that's why I picked up so many bad patterns.u fix that first after a bad emotional fall .......top tip !

Evening all

Back from pub. Drunk and knackered, appear to have accidentally left message on the saints mobile wtf. Trying to play piano badly wtf.

Off to look at other thread x.

U didn't mention anything equine in the message did u ?

Hard to say Patience. ROFL.Have no memory of leaving message, may ask him about horse tomorrow.

Hello my lovelys

Went out tonight to a singles night, lots of middle aged men watching me but no one approached, was chatting to someone at the end and he said he was going to ask for a dance but thought he might get a slap , is that the vibe im giving off?
oh well, twas a good night anyway

hope everyone is ok, must get sleep ,X supposed to be coming at 9.30am, think i'll go back to bed once he arrives :o

Ahhh Sov lilly livered chaps. You need a MAN man as I like to say Good plan to go back to sleep again today

LOL at Happy's drunken escapades on Saints answerphone

Well that's mine called off his visit today .

More fools them I'd say Sov.

Morning Tea. Urgh, methinks I drank too much.

And I need to get up the mumsnet cinema thingy now. Wonder if I will see any famous mn people there.....

Huh, and the excuse was what Patience?

He has to go and shag a horse apparantley,either that or stomach upset wasn't really listening tbh x

Nice to see he has hooked up with The Saint. I just knew they'd be mates.

Yeah great minds think alike x

Morning all.

After agreeing with all your sound advice on keeping my distance from texter-extroadinaire date, I caved...he came round late last night for a coffee. It was lovely and he is really nice. He did mention that his Ex P wants to meet his new GF (they have 3 yr old DS together)...it made me smile (with irony) as they are so amicable. The thought of sitting down with H's GF and making small talk is just sickening.

Saying that, I had a massive dream last night about doing exactly that and woke up feeling drained and shaken. It's so strange how the mind works.

Spoke to H last night about the financial statement. Some of the legal bods on here gave me advice and it appears that a clean break might not be possible in our case...all of them feel that a Mesher Order would be the way to go. That's knocked me for six as the thought of H being a part of my finances for the next 12 years is unbearable.

Patience, sorry to hear that He's not coming today. Hope you have a fab day regardless.

Sov, where you not channelling your inner Banarama at the disco

Happy, nice one! Loving your sense of humour.

Hope you all have great days.

Morning all

Lots of you out last night then which is great

Starting I know .

Maybees yep I am with you , rebuild self and go from there ! Hows moving plans going ?

Happy naughty girl enjoy the MN thing dont know anything about it

Patience thats a shame after last weeks success , you dont sound bothered ?

Well yesterday was fab just chit chat all day the exhibition was excellent and then a film Blue Valentine which was really good but hard for my friend as its the chronicle of the journey from mad in love to divorce and there were a few parallels to her situation. We didnt refer to that. All in all just what I needed ie a reminder theres a great big world out there

Off to see a friend at lunchtime. Her twin sister has just fled to their parents with her 4yo ds in tow from an awful bf. Actually was quite surprised as the twin rang me on friday night asking me if I could talk to her (met her once) but of course I had people over so I will later after seeing the friend first. So depressing what I will have to tell her ie not married so limited rights, hes self employed and mean as they come so no doubt will screw her with maintenance and there will be little she can do and the fact he is nasty and controlling shit suggests she wont be able to look forward to much support of any kind. Shes 45 yo and has left with nothing but her ds cant say I am looking forward to the call tbh although at least she should get good benefits and works 16 plus hours a week so will get CTC and WTC.

See you later

No I'm not bovvered at all getting ......this healing is great eh ,it only bothered me when I was attracted to him.he could be lying to me he could be sick all I know is kids don't see their dad and I don t get paid

It's true the opposite of love is indifference.

Afternoon all

Patience, not surprised at cancellation? it is something we come to expect, it's a hard lesson to learn but they cant be relyed on, if they come great, if not f* em
Your definately right about indifference, thats how i feel, have informed X that if he keeps being a no show i will stop visits altogether as i'm not having DC upset by him and it makes absolutely no difference to my life if he comes and when he gets his own place he will be told if he doesnt have DC every 2nd weekend then he wont see them at all, am sick of doing everything myself without a break while he does whatever he likes, so he either does it my way or he doesnt do it at all, will be accused that im blackmailing him but what the hell, if that's what it takes for him to do his job as a parent then thats what i'll do

Happy, has The Saint not said what was left on the voicemail? hope you enjoy the film, i too didnt know anything about it

Getting, glad you have had a busy weekend and that your feeling better, it's a shame about your friend twin but at least she has you to turn to

DCS, how long has he been split from his XP? it could have taken a long time to get where they are, if X meets someone and they are not someone i know then tbh i would insit on meeting whoever is going to be around my DC even though our co parenting relationship isnt great atm

Tea, definately right about the men, none really my type anyway but i would have danced with them, i danced all night anyway which is the main reson i went, my mum sat watching everything most of the night and asked if id ever seen the film one flew over the cuckoos nest, i said of course, she said thats wat the place reminded her of ROTFPMSL
but it was fun and i would go again just for the music

Well am shattered today DD didnt sleep well last night and X didnt turn up this morning, he text at 12 to say he'd just woke up and had a few things to do so would be round at 3.30 which means he will be here 3 hours max, oh for that life sometimes, especially since DC have done nothing but fight, argue, scream, shout and cry today

Ah Sov, sorry to hear your dc's are being a handfull. I always find when I'm tired & dc's are like this it can be a nightmare so you have my full sympathies. Glad to hear you have thought up a plan of action to get xh to step up to the plate as far as dc's are concerned.

Patience, sorry to hear your xh has cancelled dc's once again. They really are the lowest form of shits when they do this to dc's! There's no excuse. Glad you are not after going on a downer about it

Happy, oh I hope you mentioned the horse on that voicemail

Getting, sorry to hear about your friend's twin. You seem to have a great circle of friends though which is fantastic

Sun, glad you had a nice coffee with friend but sorry to hear you might be entangled with xh for years to come. Hopefully you might find a way out of this in time.

Well just dropped dc's off to xh & am now trying to muster up energy to do a big clean & then possibly a nice hot bath.

I'm here! got my interview (for my own job!) tomorrow so got to get stuck into some prep...had nice date 2 with POF man, went to the cinema...something I'd not done for months, feel very comfortable with him. Spoke to him this morning at 2am...but not heard from him today....so getting my sensible head on and putting my wedding mags back in the cupboard for now!!!

We'll see what happens...weird thing is I like him..but if nothing came of it...feel like that will be fine as well, which sounds bizarre but feel like I will just look at it in terms of not something lost...but perhaps something gained by even a couple of dates.

Bloody hell...it's a tad too serene even for me!!!

Will catch up on the goings on when I've done my interview procrastination preparation.

lol @ putting wedding mags back in the cupboard Kate
was starting to get worried, even checked ur photo diary and seen you hadnt posted in a few days which also made me worry, if i knew how to use twitter i'd have been checking that too lol, not a stalker or anything but meeting strangers always makes me worry so glad to see your ok, oh and pic of date...very nice :o

Good luck with interview tomorrow am sure you will do great