Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 12

[KateonMN]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Stay a while and tell your story and when you are ready we are sure you will make the move to being a Dumpling no more!

Getting the new thread ready! Hope to see you on here :)

Hi Kate - goos thinking!

Sorry, good thinking - my typing is atrocious.

Hello, just marking my place on here and hoping to soak up the positivity vibes .

Not sure I have anything useful to offer - yet

Hi just saying hi to everyone especially Coffee. Hope the good company on here can help you :)

just got back fron dr,was quite pleased as it was the first time i had talked to anyone about this with out bursting into tears,did get close and couldnt look at him ,was very stressfull dd squinied the whole time,i was sweating/blushing mess,could of died when he asked me to repeat the bit about H being with an 18 year old,not sure if i mumbled it in shame,or he wanted to be sure what i said ha ha.He was very sympathetic,had to fill in questionnaire but said to give me the ideal treatment i would have to not be breast feeding asked how i felt about that ,was i looking to stop,said i didnt feel was really my choice,she wouldnt want to and i not got the strength to deal with that,said would speak to the health visitor about me i said i dont think there is anything they can do to help he then made some comment about me not being ready to accept help which i thought was odd,but i am hypersensitive at moment.Has prescribed me the safest in his opinion but still stressed that some still may get into breast milk and that was something i needed to think about before i decide if i am going to take them,but he was sorry that i was having to think/consider that with all my other stress.
so still not sure if i will take them but they are in cupboard ready.

Fairy

Here is some info on BF and ADs. Overall conclusion is much better to take them if you need: www.kellymom.com/health/meds/antidepressants-hale10-02.html

Which one have you been prescribed?

Makedo - my Mum used to swear by Buttercup cough syrup for coughs (you can get it over the counter)but it could be the alcohol in it!

Hope you feel better soon.

mum thanks for that,had a quick look on here and most people seemed to be taking what i have sterline?(cant be bothered to go get it)and that site confirmed that by its other name zoflot? its the recommended one,to be honest i had been thinking of stopping before all this happened as she shows no signs of self weaning and dont think i will ever get her to sleep through whilst bfeeding but now this has happened i feel there is no way i can take her comfort from her and dont feel i have the strength to stop her,also i dont want to have to hate him for this situation forcing me to stop because i have not got any more energy to put into hating him.I know why they have to involve the health visitor but i am a very private person and dont want to sit here analysing the dregs of my life with someone who does not know me,i have not got the energy for it.I am also worrying if i take AD ,given what dr said could this be used against me in any future accsess/court arguments ?
make nice to see you back,had been wondering what happened to you.

Yes they are still together Romney but it?s a long distance relationship and has been from the beginning, with her in Manchester and him down in the home counties, so they see each other one or two weekends a month, so I think it?s probably easier to sustain a relationship in some ways than living together under each other?s noses. 45 and 73 yuck! No I can?t see that either Unless he was loaded with money.

Have I missed why he has no money? In the early days I bought milk and cereal and bread for ex H from time to time. Still do sometimes, when popping to the shop I ask if he needs anything if he?s here. He never asks for much just a loaf of bread or something. I?d have stopped asking long ago if it was taking the mickey. Pholcodine Linctus can be good for a cough if it?s dry. My last cough lasted 2 weeks after my nasty cold. I ended up buying some and it worked. So give that a go after Buttercup if that doesn?t work.

SJM ? sometimes when you think you?ve flunked an interview you do get asked for a second, so try to think positive. After everything you?ve been through, something good is around the corner x

Patience hope your little ones tonight are ok and the landlord fixes your boiler asap. Is it cold up there at the moment?

Coffee ? hope today went ok, I?ll check your other thread in a moment.

Fairy ? when I got home from the GP with my AD?s I wanted to throw them in the bin, but then decided to take them, as she?d asked to see me in 2 weeks and I didn?t want to look a fool, and I am glad I did. I can see where your GP is coming from on being afraid to ask for help or not being able to accept it yet. But on the otherhand if you?re coping fine with your brood then that?s ok too I suspect he wanted the HV to know so they could refer you to homestart. Weaning can take time though and maybe once weaned if you?re still not feeling great he can change the AD?s then? Depending on when you?re little one is more ready to wean Don?t offer don?t refuse is your best bet maybe for now? Or start a thread in breastfeeding and Tiktok and Notquitecockney etc can suggest things I think one chat with your HV is ok, the GP?s just wanting to follow procedures in my opinion, they will not take your kids away, believe me! Social workers try so hard to keep the children with their families and that is why situations like Baby Peter happen. I know it?s hard as a private person to open up to someone but I?m sure one chat with your HV will settle things and they just want to support you. I?d pick up the AD?s you won?t regret it. But it?s up to you x

Waves to all - just pooping into new thread to say hi. BIt pissed tonight. Big day with DC today.

Fairy trust ur instinct on this ,I had black times but always came out the other side.if u feel the cloud isn't lifting to me that is the time to start ads.But that is only my experience.I also understand about retaining UR privacy.I was the same ,only my parents knew at first for about 4 MTHS people said I was too proud but I wanted my privacy,so I understand what gp means ,it took me a year to accept help.if u have people u can trust and are happy with and care about u keep them close by,big Hugs ,UR doin so well,UR head is working overtime trying to process everything ,it won't always be so tuff ,keep posting x

Waves to Patience

Hello everyone i'm a bit pissed too its great. My friend was over and we had luvvly wine and discussed our xs in a 'constructive and fair minded' fashion while our sons watched the annoying orange which is v annoying. I will not think about irresponsible x or sale of house or mortgages as i'm going to bed to snore loudly. All things considered I am v glad to be a woman we so get close to the moon and the stars and the sun.
Peaceful sleeps everyone
x

And Fairy my thoughts are with you. I hope you find this thread helpful and supportive.

Not had a glass of wine for such a long time ,registered at new gp today and was asked how much I drank,I said I hadn't had a drink for over a year, that's just BONKERS isn't it ,just got scunnered with drink I guess and see it as the enemy.obvious I was lone parent ,ie only registered mum and two kids but nothing was mentioned,I guess I always thought help was offered a bit like at school my sons teacher didn't know although I had filled in all the forms with only my details as X was utterly iresponsible/detatched anyway away to sleep now,another day of yucky medcine tomorrow,love to everyone x

Hi everyone. Patience, hope you're feeling a bit better - the drugs should be kicking in by now. Maybee, hope the hangover isn't too bad!

After a few days of feeling good, I'm back down in the depths. Feeling like a dreadful parent - dd refuses to even try to learn her spellings and I just end up shouting. ds woke up crying because he misses Daddy. And various other small incidents yesterday really messed me up - it feels like every time I move forward I end up back where I started. I guess it's an upward trend, but it doesn't feel like it.

Am feeling very sorry for myself today, which is unfortunate as I have 20 6 year olds coming over later for dd's birthday party. And the whole family coming tomorrow for her actual birthday...

hope not too many people have hangovers this morning.
may yes it is a great support
longdark you are doing well,no way i could host a party like that at the moment.Another thing for me to feel guilty about ds birthday next week and no way i can face a party so we are just going to go out as a family and do something.
Had a bit of joy cutting down dd feeds last night so i will carry on doing that for a few days then start the ADs,i am bored of this feeling of utter sickness and sadness and i hope they can take some of that away,i seem to be getting worse not better,actually thought last night about ringing H and telling him kids would be better with him,but then i thought would he actually want them as he has swapped hard family life for life with an 18 yr old.

Oh, Fairy, this is so hard for you right now but it won't always be this way.
Do you really want your children to be brought up by man with such low morals? Of course not. These thoughts of letting him have the dc's are more to do with the fact that you need a break. These feelings are relentless and overwhelming but it is necessary that you acknowledge and allow yourself to feel totally crap. Can you treat yourself to something today? Can anyone take the dc's for an hour? You're still in the very early days, you know. You are coping and fuunctioning. You are brilliant and he is a shit.

thanks lc,have called in a few babysitting favours already this week so dont feel can ask at the moment,not strong enough to get out today but have made arrangements to get out with kids tomorrow and just looking online for a new outfit as ,just have to remember these feelings are very up and down and i may feel better in few hours but have been having some very dark thoughts so have decided not to hold out but start AD now.

They can take a few weeks to work well, so keep at it Fairy. Well done on cutting feeds down, was she ok with it?

Fairy, I had some Very Dark Thoughts before xmas. And I know Romney has been there too. It's good that you realise that these thoughts are 'dark' as that will, in part, protect you from doing anything extreme. It's awful, like a physical pain. But it will not last. I promise you. x

Longdarktunnel how did it go with the 6 year olds?

I remember in the early days after separation that I felt exactly like you. One minute I was ok with my 2 toddlers and just about coping and the next though I was shouting about something they'd done. Horrendous time. I do wonder whether I depressed already or just struggling with the raging emotions. Sending you ((hugs)) Keep posting on here, it helped me a lot in the early days, still does actually Just chatting with you ladies when at home alone makes the evenings less lonesome.

• I was depressed