First sex after DH. Scared shitless

[longweight]

Last time I was dating I was 18, stretchmark free and didn't have any body hangups.

I have met someone who seems great, been dating for a month and I really fancy him. He has been living with his ex wife while they sold house/had joint christmas with kids and just moved into his own place.

All our dates so far have been public places but he has asked if I want to come to his new house and I'm terrified of the sex thing.

He's an athlete and very fit. I've seen photos of his ex and she is gorgeous/toned/pretty. I'm fit/healthy weight but without clothes it's not pretty.

We'd agreed to take stuff slowly but there is a lot of sexual chemistry and I really want to but scared he won't like me once he sees me naked.

Ouch :(

He thinks you're telling him to get lost (quite rudely, as well). Ring him up an apologise. I don't think you should reveal the full complexity of your self-esteem issues - say you were desparate for a poo or something!

You need to get over yourself, very fast.

In case that last bit needs explaining - you saw his beautiful body, and your first thought was not "Ooh, gorgeous! Lucky me!" It was "Oh, I'm not good enough for that." Then you thought about yout own body and got so emotional you had a panic attack. This is absurd.

It's not all about you. And it's not all about bodies. If you don't credit the man with enough sense to know what he finds attractive, you sure have some strange ideas. And the strongest emotion you felt was about yourself.

Frankly, I don't think you need underwear, I think you need a counsellor. Or you could take a slow breath, jump-start yourself back into the real world and get this relationship back on the rails.

Your call.

It is absurd. I don't feel like this when I'm on my own with him just today in front of all those people, I felt like a rabbit in the headlights.

I will call him tomorrow, apologise and then it's his call from there.

I don't think you should read that much into it. I think you are nervous/embarrassedlacking in confidence.

Don't text him, call him and explain you are a dork!

MrsPickles is right.

Another vote for MrsP :)

Phone him and just explain that he looked so hot he made you come over all peculiar!

Because you have blown hot and cold now he needs reassurance (bloomin eck). When you phone make sure he knows you are into him.

'You looked so amazing I felt all wobbly and embarrassed! Can we still meet up?'

This thread has been lovely btw. I feel all saggy and unattractive and I am now living vicariously through you!

So you HAVE to have sex with him. Do it for all of us posting or lurking on this thread !

Thank you everyone especially mrspickles

I called him this morning, explained that I knew I'd reacted badly but was very nervous/embarrassed and him looking so buff didn't help my nerves.

He laughed, said I had done his head in at the time as it was so unexpected. He did say he felt very self conscious too but I shouldn't be so silly.

Mrspickles the club we both train for holds social events for members (usually a meal or party) every few months. When I met him it was first time I've met people out of training apart from my friend I go with. Lots of them know each other really well so they prob think I am a man-eater pulling the hottie on my first night out!

Went to get defuzzed today. Lovely place has huge fish tank and friendly receptionist who likes to sit and colour with dc1 while I'm being tortured. Halfway through my deforestation receptionist bursts in to announce dc1 had done a poo and was asking to have bottom wiped. Brilliant.

Blinder thanks for support, I hope to have a shag update post one of these days!!!

Woo hoo!

Yay! . See? Just relax and all will be well.

Yikes re DS poo during wax torture! Hurrah re phone convo! Looking good :) You go!

Grace, your line 'DS Poo During Wax Torture!' sounds like a MN version of the tabloid cliches on a popular thread recently

Longweight, glad you phoned and can laugh about it now. He sounds great, like a keeper! And yes we all want a shag update when you have one

I have been watching this thread and I love it!! I too have body issues and I am absolutely rooting for you to go for it!!! Afterwards...can you post a pic of his "muscles on muscles" hehe

Honestly, it will be fine. I have very recently been in the same boat, he didn't even notice. And my stomach is a loose, saggy state. Get down to M and S, they have a sale on and some gorgeous undies. I too prefer to keep something on, just a silky cami or something, because it makes me feel better and more confident. The first time you will both be nervous, but it really is true, if he's bothered, he's not worth it anyway.

Im so glad you have found someone that makes you happy! Thats great for a start. I think everyone is right once you in the heat of the moment it does not matter and I think you will love it! I went out with my now DP of 3 years after splitting with my husband I had been with my husband (married for 3 yrs) since I was 17 and I was now 33 and had a 2 yr old. I was very very worried! We were sooo enjoying each other it did not matter. I found just one drink or two helped me with my nerves!! Good luck. Dont do what I did I saw a bloke after I split with my husband and I was totally pissed when we did it and it was not good I was so nervous! We only had a quick fling of a few weeks

OP, I have to remind you what you wrote way back at the beginning of this thread: "he keeps saying that he can't believe I'm dating him and thinks I'm much more attractive than him". He wouldn't say this if he didn't mean it. Fingers crossed for you!!! :)

I am loving my shag support crew!

Muscles on muscles on muscles. Obscene.

I opted for a small tidy strip. I had to run out and do poo duty bare legged (mid thigh sweater dress) and scurry back in view of reception so she could continue. I tipped heavily.

I have planned work outfit as have important meeting that day which will occupy me. Going with navy silk blouse tucked into tight skirt opaque hold ups and high patent courts. Have a long fine merino cardi for over top at work. Does this sound ok? Blouse is quite loose but when you open the tie very low cut, skirt is form fitting. I'm 5'10 and curvy of bottom.

Outfit sounds fab! Loving this thread and cannot wait for the update!!!

Wow! 5'10 32G with a curvy bottom are stats to turn even me 'curious'.

You've nothing to worry about. Maybe he is equally overawed by you!

Keep updating us.

And exactly what are these muscles like [interested face]?

Well, you've lost me, babes

You're not even large, let alone lardy. No wonder Mr Muscles fancies your tall, slender, hourglass figure!