The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

White what you have posted makes sense.

Headless looking forward to getting to 'know' you.

hello headless!! have a [hug]!, nice to have you aboard!!

red!, when my first marriage broke up i felt sad about it but also huge relif!, we now have a friendly relationship, keep in touch a few times a year, dh and i went to exdh 50th birthday party, dd knows him as some one she can trust (unlike exdh2, her father), it may take a while but maybe you and your h will get to this kind of relationship.

I think one of the brilliant things about this thread is that everyone is so caring, you feel you can be honest without been judged. I tried a couple of times to go to my GP about drinking but couldn't bring myself to admit exactly how much I have every night.

Welcome Headless

JWN - thank you for that. I really hope that we can be friends one day but I have certainly behaved very badly towards him. (Not least running away and pretty much shacking up with another bloke... Obviously we had split up I didn't walk out on him for FB. If that makes sense?!)

mouse has Nemo's new team been yet?

zany I love the people on this thread, I really do.

hello everyone and hello to all new posters since I was last on (last week?), although I'm a relative newbie myself

just wanted to lend my virtual support to everyone. You know if you didn't manage it through the weekend (not drinking i mean), it's still a big positive as you're posting on here and thinking about it. I reckon that's a huge step forward from the ostrich in the sand strategy - my strategy of choice for far too long!!

wanted to ask people who have managed to stop for some time how they approached the going out thing for the first few times? I'm on day 9 (yippee!!) but have been in deep hibernation as I don't trust myself to be out and offered drinks, I'm not sure I'll be able to say no . I know I could ask for a non-alco drink, but just not sure if I'd be strong enough to do it!

should i just stay in hibernation for the time being? (not such a bad prospect when it's cold and wet!)

DP has never really known the extent of my drinking, have often hidden my drinking. He came out of the kitchen at the weekend with his bottle of red and presented it to be with a flourish like a wine waiter (it did make me laugh!). Silly bugger! He loves his wine at the weekend and likes to present the bottle for me to admire

I'm still sleeping horribly but at least my head is clear in the morning

hope everyone's having a good day xx

Morning all (just caught up with you all)

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Lightbulb Moment - for me it was a combination of factors:

• Realising I felt better when I wasn't drinking (sounds so obvious, doesn't it? )

• Going to an AA meeting and seeing healthy, happy-looking people who weren't tramps and didn't smell of meths.

• Even though I didn't think my drinking was 'that bad' (see tramps above), being welcomed and finding I had loads in common with other alcoholics (who'd have thought it?)

• Wishing I hadn't wasted ten years of my life thinking I could control my drinking.

I didn't wake up in a pool of my own vomit or in a prison cell or find my DCs trying to carry Mummy up to bed, but just because I didn't doesn't mean I can drink safely or sensibly.

(I always mean to make these posts short but can't stop myself, sorry!)

Red - nope, 3pm so I am trying to tidy as DH is trying his best to untidy the house.

I shall put him outside like a norty cat shortly.

threesteps Starting Monday with a clear head is such a joy. Well done on day 9.

Re going out - try not to project, but when an event does occur just have a strategy - you're driving (that's my usual one and DH is happy to support me and he knows how to drink moderately ; just ask for that first non-alcoholic drink and that will help your resolve. If it's a drinks do hang on to your non-alc drink for dear life! At the end of the do it feels great to go home clear headed. Also great to people watch!

CJ Hope you have caught your breath. If you don't mind me asking, do you still have moments af temptation when you think you might have a drink - I think you are some time (years) sober?

mouse chuck him out if he can't be tidy! (Although if the weather with you is anything like here it might be a bit cruel!)

thanks whitenapteen. I think you're right, once you ask for the first non-alcoholic drink it will become easier. And I love people watching, or at least I used to, lately have been far too busy watching myself to make sure I didn't make a fool of myself being drunk when out

not planning on putting myself to the test for a while as I don't 100% trust myself to make the right decision.

poor you mouse with your teeth/jaw, my mum gets abscesses a lot and has an awful time of it, hope you feel better soon x

Red - will do!

Thank you 3Steps xx

White, there are moments when I think it would be nice - at a bonfire party on Saturday, the whiff of mulled wine was very tempting - but I just don't go there. As MIFLAW and others have said, play the film through to the end and it's just not worth it.

'Don't pick up the first drink' is the best and simplest advice I've been given. I remember seeing Judi Dench in a play years ago, playing a real old soak who'd been off the booze for a while but everyone was worried she'd start again. Act 2 began with her walking in absolutely mashed, swaying and carrying an almost empty bottle, and her brilliant, brilliant line was 'It's only the first one I can't have!'

I value my sober life too much to take risks. I know I couldn't have just one.

Thanks CJ

I hate myself so much right now. I can't believe I have yet again got so pissed that I have ended up doing things I have no memory of doing.
I have made a fucking idiot of myself yet again & I am so sick of not having enough respect for myself.

Drama Can you put this behind you and just concentrate on today? What will you do to not have that first drink today?

aw, Drama, please please please don't beat yourself up too much. Stopping is really hard and we're bound to slip along the way. The best you can do is pick yourself up today and look to the future.

I've done so much beating myself up about past behaviour and I know it's hard not to dwell.

You've been doing great recently, was there a particular reason you picked up a drink?

I'm sure wiser babes will be along shortly, but just wanted to send you a virtual hug. It will be okay xx

Hi drama, OK you got pissed. You can't change that and beating yourself up about it will make it more likely that you will pick up again. You can only focus on today.

Have you considered AA meetings? It's not for everyone, I know, but they can provide so much support.

It won't be ok though because I keep doing really stupid things whilst pissed. I didn't mean to get so drunk & I have hardly any memory of last night.
I won;t drink tonight because I am again ashamed.
Fucking hell. why.

What did you do, Drama? Was it really that bad? And anyway, it was yesterday(?) and you're not doing it today right?

It's hard to ignore shame & guilt. If I have got away with others knowing what I have been doing then the feelings will eat me from within.

Drama you can only tackle the here and now. That may help you deal with your feelings of shame and guilt but please don't dwell on them. Turn them in to a positive action - today I will not be drinking and I will see my DCs into bed, and will remember the evening.

I second all the advice drama, sorry if my 'it will be okay' sounded crass, it wasn't meant to. The fact you've said you're not going to drink tonight is positive, so you're taking positive action

drama I have done things when pissed that even now I can bearly think about. So I don't think about them.

Today you can choose not to drink. Tomorrow you will not have any fresh feelings of guilt or shame. You can do it!