The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Homebrew In The Shed!

[HammerMouseOfHorrors]

Hello, I'm Mouse.

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus. You can get on at any point in the journey, there is plenty of room, it's free to ride and there is always someone who will be along to hold your hand over the speedbumps!

So, no matter where you are in your quest to quit the booze, join us for support, advice and a fair few laughs along the way

There is no judging, no cliques, just real poster with real problems being real and honest!

Come and meet the others.....

Here is the previous thread where you can read all of the threads so far, including JWN's original thread and the reason we are all here.

Thurso I know it probably won't help but you are not the only one. I have had mornings where the children 8 & 6 have laughed about mummy last night & I have not had a clue what they are talking about, having an 8y old shake you awake on the sofa again, she is crying because she couldn't wake mummy & mummy felt really cold.... makes me so fucking angry with myself.

Can't change it but I will now make an effort not to let her have to wake up & mummy not be in her bed.

I will not drink today & I am looking foward to real sleep.

thurso

Guilt. A very cruel emotion that we have to feel as humans. Not at all nice.

Sweetheart, you can't change how you used to live your life. You can't take back what you have done. You can't take those memories away from your DC.

BUT you CAN make sure that you never feel guilt like this again.

You CAN make sure that your DC never says to you that you drink too much.

You CAN take control of the future, of your future and your DCs future.

Nothing you can say or do will ever erase those memories but you CAN make sure that you don't add to them.

Please be gentle with yourself. The early days are so bloody hard. The mix of emotions that you will feel from here on in will overwhelm you at times.

I have a memory of my mum being very drunk. We were on holiday, the first time we had ever had a holiday. Dad was gone and it was just mum, my sister and me.

We went to Spain to stay with my grandparents for a few weeks.

We had gone out to dinner and mum got drunk. VERy drunk. She necked so much red wine.

Anway, my grandad took us back to the villa. I carried my mum's shoes, her purse and her false teeth, (yes really!) and my sister carried her coat.

I will never forget my mum falling all over the place. Or puking down the car door on the trip home. Or her being in bed the next day.

Funny how the tables turn.

DD remembers me falling over, staggering in my high heels home from the pub. Puking in a bin along the way. Sleeping it off and needin to top up the next day.

I missed days, weeks, and months of her life. I missed so much of her growing up because I'd rather be drinking.

So, thurso, I know how you feel I have been in both pairs of shoes. I know how much it hurts.

And I will NEVER put my DD (or Nemo) through that again. xx

Sorry, epic post!!!!!

Just been on the phone to Red. She is off work again but sends her love. She has had some bad news about one of her closest friends so is feeling rather sad.

BUT, she's sober!! Yay, go Red!! xxxx

Thanks.
Feeling really bad here, and have been on such a high.

Didn't help that I had a sh*y conversation with Dc on the phone last night, and am thinking I deserve the arsey behaviour.

I have drinking too much for 10 years, and I can't bear to think about it. 10 YEARS!
Also realise I'm being delusional thinking that they didn't notice when they were young, even if they didn't know what it was.

It's only ever been at night, so haven't ballsed up the day (altough had crashing hangovers), and done the after school activities, and later on picking up from parties,etc, (didn't drink until afterwards) haven't ever shamed myself or Dh in public even (so he says), altough always agonise over whether I said too much, or was too loud.

Sorry, sorry, don't know what's come over me.

I have been drinking, even!

Actually, have driven with them, 3 times when I've already had a drink, years ago

thurso - STOP. It's done sweetheart. It's over and you NEVER have to go back to that again.

You are no longer that person are you? At least not for today. xx

Thursoback - do you want to stop beating yourself up now? Cos if you don't, me and some of the Babes are going to come over and start beating you up instead!!
What's done is done, you cannot change it but you can make it fade ever further into the distance. You can draw a line under it and start a new way. You can take a big deep breath and say "that person is gone now and a new person is in charge here".
and blow me, you are doing all these things, as we all are, or are trying to.
How old is DC? Can you go out together for a coffee and chat honestly about where you've been and this fab but difficult place where you are now?
You are doing brilliantly - the guilt is just the old devil drink trying a new tactic, trying to undermine you and make that little voice in your head tell you that you are a worthless scumbag and an unfit mother so why not have a little drink hmmmm??? Ignore it! It is a sign you are winning. Keep beiong strong!
(whew, came over all shouty then - hark at me!)

See thurso? It's done xx

mouse - backatcha
Can't believe that was me that said all that - now got to back my gob up with some self-restraint......

Ah but ma, this is what happens when you open your eyes. Wisdom is in all of us, buried up to it's neck in some cases, but it's there.

I think you're doing great, really you are. xx

Loads of excuses not to have a drink in a pub. But the alternatives are pathetic. Soda and Lime is the best, and cheap. If you ask for tomato juice or orange juice you get a thimblefull. I don't see why they don't install a real orange juice making machine and offer fresh orange juice. I am sure they would be popular with non-drinkers and people interested in health and that is a lot of people.

And a juice bar. I wouldn't mind paying £3 for a pure, freshly made in front of me, orange juice.

Thurso yes, I am ashamed to say that my dds also remember me drunk, and that I too have driven the car drunk. I am sure that does not make you feel any easier about what you have done, but you know you are not alone in having fucked up, and not alone in feeling awful about yourself.

One of the steps in AA is 'to undertake a fearless inventory' i.e. to recognise what you have done wrong and to admit that to others, then eventually to make amends for it in whatever way is most appropriate. However AA do not suggest you even start on this process until you have been sober for a while, and that you do so with the support of a sponsor. I guess their reasoning is that we could all too easily feel overwhelmed by how alcohol has affected our behaviour and how crap we have been at times. So dear thurso, go gently on yourself at this stage. Put your attention on how well you did yeterday to remain sober and how well you are doing today. Focus on the postive aspects of your life and once that becomes a new and imbedded way of living there will be plenty of time to look back and cringe.

You have made me cry.

Thurso, your drinking pattern sounds exactly the same as mine although I think my childrn are younger & I have been at it 8 years give or take 3 pregnancys.

I have never thought about the fact that I can control drawing a line & stopping it all happening again.
I assumed that now I have behaved so badly there is no going back that I AM a shit wife & these poor children deserve so much more.

I'm not so sure now & I think I am not feeling as ashamed.

I hate jumpig in when so much support is going on & someone is feeling lower than I am today but this is why I am here, to get it all out & try to work it out & hopefully b able to help out a litle too in the future.

deep breath & relax x

Ok. Have stopped.

Crikey, crying like a baby, going back over every day of the past,I need locking up, or I have been on my own a bit too much.

Thanks everyone. Don't think I'll tell Dh about this, he has been so thrilled this week. Although I do the same earbashing to to him.

BUT AM ON DAY 6, SO DON'T DESERVE ARSEY TALK FROM UNI DC[GRIN]

Bit better now.
Thanks for being there babes(kiss icon)

Can we all stop crying please? I am trying to put my mascara on!!!

Gosh! Mascara?

What does your dentist look like then :)

oooooh, mouse is on the pull......

She's blonde and about 55!

You lot are terrible.......

Right I am off to the have a telling off from the school as my middle daughter is apparently "not being nice" nothing to do with the fact that the little girl she is not being nice to is a horror bag but hey ho!!

Good luck pulling your at the dentist mouse

wow - amazing support on here today.

thurso and thoroughly I can only echo what the wise Babes have been saying, that I'd be unable to put so eloquently!

It's all food for thought for me as well. I also have a very destructive thought pattern that says "drinking is all I'm worth" and it takes a bit of beating away.

Hi to everyone, sending you positive vibes with Nemo mouse

Hello dementedma, forthevery and venus

Well I'm on day 4 and so far so good. No false sense of security here though, am all set to tell it to fuck the fuck off

I think we should all be incredibly proud, whether we've stopped or are cutting back, we're tackling it, which is so ace!!

Day 4 for me too threesteps:)

yay, well done desire Are you doing okay?

MIFLAW, hello, your crematorium cooking comment made me laugh!

Was feeling a bit shitty earlier threesteps but that was more to do with life than not drinking!
How are you feeling?