The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

I must add, I tried to go from dyed BLACK hair to peroxide blonde!! Of course it was going to be a fuck up!!!!

Don't panic, you'll be fine!! Really!!

Click on my name.

and can somebody explain what MILFAW stands for - been racking my brains - Mother In Law Fucking Awful Woman.......? Mouse in Lower Floor Always W*king.............someone tell me!! God am I going to end up orange...shit

Hey what a beautiful family you have. You are a very lucky lady ........... and if i end up a bad shade of orange I shall blame you!! Got to go - DD wants compooter. talk later x

MIFLAW = Man I Feel Like A Woman, because he is on Mumsnet.

Simples!!

Why would orange hair be my fault? I take it read the instructions and followed them to the letter?

I didn't so it was my fault!! Good luck! x

SILVER!!!!!!!

How did the hair dying go? Do you hate me?

Waiting for silver to appear looking like this

Hope everyone is having a good evening. I am knitting a present for my Mum for Christmas - keeps my hands very occupied.

venus - you are naughty!

You ok tonight? I'm a bit wired but think it's the ADs messing with my body clock.

Bed here.

Night Brave Babes. xx

fell asleep and now wide awake - MILFLAW now makes total sense - Hair is fine - lovely shade of blondish - very happy with the results so no battery head!!! I presume everyone is asleep now - DD wants her own laptop for her birthday in 2 weeks - wish I could afford one so she doesn't keep taking mine off me.............hope you are all getting some zeds - Mouse - I think I remember not sleeping for a couple of weeks but stick with the pills - nightmare to start with but they will calm down xxx

Morning all. Was that an early morning SAF, or a late night?

I have had some rubbish sleeps recently, but for the last couple of nights I've been sleeping like a baby. Today dp has gone cycling. When I woke he was already gone - he'd got up, had a shower (in the en-suite) and brought me a cup of coffee, and I had slept through it all.

Hi Venus. I've been wondering for a while how long it has been since you last drank alcohol. You sound so sorted and in control I am wondering how far I have to go to get there!

Sober - easy, you can do that today if you want.

In control - take many, many years of practice. I have been doing it since I've been about 6 ( so many, many, many years). And it's not always a good thing. I am so in control that being drunk was my only way of being out of control.

Sorted? me? not really. But I have learnt a lot about acceptance. Accept myself as I am (and don't beat myself up about it, in fact love myself for being like that); accept others for who they are, and don't get too judgey about it (in fact, enjoy that they are like that); accept situations as they arise. And then use all of that to change the things that I don't want to carry on accepting.

But I've not been drinking since the end of June, and it has made all of the above more manageable.

Silver - glad your hair is ok!!! Phew!!

venus - I started accepting life more once I stopped getting drunk every night. I used to worry about everything. And I mean everything. I now just worry about things I can change, things I can control. Things I can do something about and those that I can't, I am learning to deal with better.

SAF - hope you had a good night!!

Hello looking

Sorry, haven't read the last few posts. I should do really but the kids need feeding. I've had a drink today (would rather not say how much) but I still feel depressed and know the anxiety is coming..tonight when I'm trying to sleep this off.
The guilt, anxiety and memories of previous times (all through my 20's and 30's) haunt me and in a self-distructive way make me want to drink more.
I woke up early this morning tortured by the fact that I can barely remember my youngest DC's first two christmas's as I was tiddly(hammered) on champagne.
I feel so so bad. I love my kids. I guess I just don't love myself and the tedium of "being me" is too much to bear.
Thanks for reading.

Venus - thats a good approach. I suppose not drinking allows you to step back a bit and distinguish between what you can and can't change. I'm coming up to 6 weeks sober. But I have a feeling of dread that i could throw it away and be back at square one. Was at friends last night and offered a drink, but refused. As my friend was saying, oh go on, I almost found myself saying ok then..Although 6 weeks is long for me, i haven't really been tested having shut myself mostly away and so need to think about coping strategies when out.
Mouse - hello to you! I had a read of yu profile earlier. What a georgeous family you have. Hope you managed to get a lie in this morning and that you re starting to feel the benefits of the ADs.

Mouse, I never gave the AD's a chance to work. I need to stop drinking and find out rather than push my GP to increase my dose.
Hope you have a great night's sleep tonight.

Luci - the only way of holding the anxiety at bay and allowing the AD to work is to stop drinking. You mentioned not remembering your DC's first christmas'. There i nothing you can do about that - but think about what you are missing on a daily basis, not just the big occasions, and what you willmiss out on in thefuture. I was going to bed fully clothed each night not really remembering anything really abou the events the previous night. My daughter is old enough now to appreciate what was going on. During an argument one morning, my DH referred to me as an alcoholic (in front of DD). I was horrified that she had heard this, but her reaction was to be embarrassed for me. (She was 8) It was almost as if it someone had spoken out loud what we al knew was the truth and there she was mortified for me.. Sorry, this post wasn't meant to be about me. What I am trying to say, is don't get to that position. You can't get back what you have lost, but believe it or not, you have yet far more to lose. Anxiety filled my every waking moment. I hated being away from work because that cleared more space in my head for negative, anxious self hating thoughts. A by product of not drinking is that the voices may still be there but are so o much quieter and easier to bat away. You will be able to stop the drinking. You will have a few bad days to get through and then things will start to improve. The certinty is that things will continue to go downhill if you continue as you are. I know you love your DCs, so do it for them. You have drank today. Can you stop now and get through the day without drinking any more? Can you get rid of all alcohol in the house other than your IL's and then there is no temptation?

apologies for the spelling..awful.

Hiya Babes

So took DD to my Mother's to play with her cousin and I'm like "Haven't you noticed somthing different about me?" Mother considers for far too long and then goes - "Have you gone blonder?" Duuuur - like about 10 shades but I'll forgive you because you are my mother and I love you whatever - ah well!! I guess once you becoma a parent yourself, you can empathise a bit more with your own parents.

Mouse - how did you sleep - did you get promised lie-in?

Venus - are you a bike widow too - mine went out at about 11.00am on his bike and seen hide nor hair since - and he works in a bike shop - like a hobby not a bloody job!!

Luci - have you thought about a home detox on librium? There will be a Community Alcohol Service in your area and they can sort you out and give you support - ask your GP - it might be hard to admit to him/her that you have a problem but they would much rather help you than judge - also you will cost the NHS a lot less in the long run if you can stop. Life really is so much easier to deal with, with a clear head

xx

Afternoon..........

Silver - I did indeed get a lie in, followed by a cooked breatfast. I've just put the beef in and cleaned upstairs, Dh is hoovering (I can't push the hoover or mop due to my dodgy pelvis), Nemo is chilling infront of CBeebies and DD is out.

A good day all in all!!

looking - I am a very, very lucky lady. My family have supported me and Nemo is the reason I quit the booze.

Apparently, he woke one night after I had passed out pissed fallen asleep and I went to pick him up, to reasure him etc.....

DH got to him before me and I went mental. The whole 'don't you take my baby away from me' kinda shit.

I don't remember a thing.

luci - I wish I knew you in RL. You know that you have to stop drinking. You know that the ADs will never work as they should until you do.

You know that your circumstances are slowly causing you emotional and physical harm because you drink to blank your situation out.

You know how your drinking upsets you and others. You know all about regrets and poor choices. There is nothing any of us can say to stop you drinking.

BUT........ I for one, am here to support you. If you want me to. I'm sure others are happy to aswell.

Please keep posting so that we can listen to you. Put your thoughts and feelings down here and then read them back. It helps. As does knowing you are not along in your struggle to quit.

IIRC you are with your ILs until November? Yes? Do you work? Do you actually get to go out of the house at all or are you there all day every day with them?

It doesn't matter how much you drink, what matters is that you are honest about it. That way, when you do stop, and you will, you can lookk back and realise just how wonderful life is through sober eyes.

Take good care of you sweetheart. xx