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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

1000 replies

Mouseface · 03/09/2010 18:31

Hello Smile

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 08/09/2010 10:05

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Mouseface · 08/09/2010 10:08

SAF

Re Saturday night...... if you want to go out. If this friend the sort that you can tell you aren't drinking? But I guess that's gonna make it hard if it's just you two and she wants to get hammered.

When I had my hen night, it had been arranged for months. One of my friends got pg before we went, planned, and I really resented her at the time for not drinking.Blush

I felt like she had let the side down as the plan was to go away for the weekend and get slammed!

She came, drank soft drinks and went back to the hotel earlier than the rest of us.

We are still really good friends and I am very ashamed of how I felt that night.

I put my own selfish urge/need/want to get wasted, have a blast, be outragously pissed etc before the health of my friend and her baby.

BUT.....she came. She still came to the hen weekend. And we all had a brilliant time.

If you go, can you alternate booze with a soft drink. So, if you go to the bar, get a nothing and cola or a nothing and soda?

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 08/09/2010 10:10

SAF - I would love to be a social drinker. Sadly - despite my many varied experiments and thorough reserach - it is not to be for me! If you think that it will work for you then that's great! (And I would be jealous, ha ha!)

MIFLAW · 08/09/2010 10:14

Lucil

You are not weak - you are a problem drinker.

However, PLEASE print out these lines and stick them somewhere:

"I can't have anymore as there's none left now.
I'm not glad about that fact but glad the decision to drink more has been removed."

because, sure as night follows day, I can promise you that in a few days' time you will be telling yourself that the fact you "only" had two glasses is a sign you can control your drinking, rather than because you ran out.

swallowedAfly · 08/09/2010 10:19

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startinghereandnow · 08/09/2010 10:22

Swallow there may have been some confusion but we are actually very similar! Yes, I did read your posts Grin

Venus, actually I don't feel as though I failed last night; in fact I feel bloody good! I had so little in comparison to normal and slept like a baby (actually not like any of my babies did but that is another story).

Nonetheless, dry night tonight. I have a way to go to prove to myself I can take it or leave it iykwim.

Swallow - do you think you could handle Saturday without getting slaughtered? If not stay in. Is a very very tough test, damn sure I would fail it at this stage.

See you all later.

MIFLAW · 08/09/2010 10:22

Wrinkly

"been drinking again, almost every night. Everything in my life seems so shit."

Seeing a link?

"if it kills me then I wont be down anymore and bringing everyone else down" - selfish horseshit. If you die, it will cause incredible pain - and be a fucking pain in the neck - to a wide range of people on a range of levels. Why should YOU get the option to run away and leave everyone else to sort out the mess? It's time to pay back, and that requires you to be alive.

MsGee · 08/09/2010 10:24

Morning,

you ladies are all on fire this morning!

wrinkly glad you are feeling more positive today but def go to the GP. You sounded so down last night, please keep posting, everyone is here to support you! I think a few pages back there is an 'interesting' discussion on to do lists and stationery!

starting agree with other posters that its great that you are helping your friend but remember to take care of you too!

venus enjoy your busy day, hope its productive!

Red day 5, hurrah! hope you have a good day!

SAF I did read your post and it was very intersting. I think that there seems to be an awful lot of us on here who have / had depression and I think there is such an overlap between that and the drinking. I know what you mean about the performance self, its sometimes hard to know where to find the real you. keep posting, it sounds like you are working through a lot and a clear head helps!

Mouse I shall discard my shuffle hugs and give you a , lovely lady, starting is right, you do have such a capacity for kindness and helping others even when you feel shitty. Your post from last night made me so sad that you are feeling so crappy and see yourself so negatively. FWIW, I see you as a brave, wonderful, inspiring, caring woman. And quite frankly from your photo you are gorgeous!! I so wish you could get a glimpse of how we all see you, you have so many fans on here. Anyway, you sound positive this morning, and impressively organised. Have you heard from DD yet? Can you call her or the school?

All ok here. LittleMsGee up before 5 yelling POOPOO - alas, another hilarious joke. I brought her into bed with us and within 5 minutes she was trotting off downstairs (in the dark). By 5.15 am we were drawing pictures of waybuloos. Still, she was very lovely, if a bit tired. Builder failed to turn up at house yesterday, but later apologised as he had an emergency. We used him for a lot of work on our current house (done this year after promising DH that I would stop looking to move...) and he is normally reliable and trustworthy. Albeit bloody expensive.

Looks like difficult teen years and depression are common themes on here. Although I guess that is probably a large % of the population generally? My depression started as a (young) teenager and carried on throughout my twenties. Like Mouse, I was always looking for the high, for something to make me feel ok. My self worth was tied up with men or my career but never really based on me. I was never ever content - and didn't want to be really, I liked the rollercoaster ride but since I had lovely daughter, I want boring contentment. I want to just be happy to be me. I know it doesn't work this way for everyone but becoming a mother finally made something click in me, to be honest I was relieved that I had to stop thinking about me and learnt to put someone else first. I had to learn to rely on people (especially DH) and that doing your best and living for today can be just fine.

Anyway, must stop this witter! Have lovely days brave babes. Today, we will not be drinking.

Mouseface · 08/09/2010 10:26

SAF - she's never been a big drinker but she had a real incentive not too. Her baby.

Talking of which, baby steps are just fine. Christ on a bike! I was not ready to qiut the booze. No way. Read my first few posts!

I got to where I am doing it my way and in a way that I felt at ease with. In control woth.

No-one is asking you to stop drinking forever. You are in control of this. If you go and drink so what? Just try to stay in control by doing what you said.

Stop worrying about Saturday. It's Wednesday.

Do this in your own time. When you want to and for however long you want. Smile

OP posts:
MsGee · 08/09/2010 10:28

damn, x posted again, hi MIFLAW, maddogs.

Maddogs - excellent point, non-alcoholics do not pose the Q to themselves.

Mouseface · 08/09/2010 10:33

MsGee

I am sat reading what you have written about me with tears in my eyes!!! Thank you. xx

I have sent DD a text asking if she is ok. I may have to wait until lunch to get a reply.

She was with a group of friends at the stop so I'm sure she is just too excited to remember to text boring old mum!! Grin

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 08/09/2010 10:38
Wink
MsGee · 08/09/2010 10:42

Mouse any time. If it helps, I can start the Brave Babes Mouse Fan Club. It will have amazing stationery, we love mouse badges and I am sure that Wasindie or venus(are you out there) can write a poem... Smile

Seriously, you are incredible. After 'meeting' on here I read your initial posts and couldn't believe how strong you are and how far you've come. You are always here for everyone, no matter how crap you feel and how tired you are. You are wonderful, in fact I might even have a slight crush on you. (MIFLAW needs some competition in the crush stakes anyway!).

If only we could load powerpoint on here, I would write a presentation called, "Why We Love Mouse".

RedMoomin · 08/09/2010 10:44

I second what MsGee said re mouse. You're a star lovely mouse!

MsGee · 08/09/2010 10:44

Red

Mouseface · 08/09/2010 10:47

STOP IT!!! Nemo's nurse will be here in a minute and I don't have time to re-do my mascara again! Smile

I think that we are all bloody brilliant, each in our own ways.

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 08/09/2010 10:47
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MsGee · 08/09/2010 10:50

Red, I am touched that you noticed whether or not I said hi!

Mouse, you are right - everyone on here is amazing, brave and courageous! However, the fact that you bother with mascara makes me think you are more amazing! I don't even brush my hair.

RedMoomin · 08/09/2010 10:51

And thanks for the 'well done'! (all very embarrassing especially as I frequently forget to say hello to people!)

MsGee · 08/09/2010 10:56

I am the same, some days I have to take notes when I read the thread Grin

Right, I MUST work. Somehow I have just over 3 days work left to do this week and about 5 hours to do it in Sad

Lucilastic · 08/09/2010 11:19

I'm not drinking today. Thank you for all your comments everyone yesterday. The support here is really giving me strength.
I have been taking Prozac since last year. Depression is something I have struggled on and off with all my life.
It is interesting that alcohol could alter it's effectiveness for the worse.
Another reason (as if I need anymore!) to cut right down......................................and maybe stop?Shock

RedMoomin · 08/09/2010 11:21

Just take it on day at a time lucil. We are all here for you every step of the way no matter what you decide.

swallowedAfly · 08/09/2010 11:26

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MIFLAW · 08/09/2010 11:46

I remember the first time a doctor prescribed me antidepressants.

"You MUST NOT DRINK with these," she told me.

I said nothing - but, in my head, I was thinking, "bless, she's obviously recently qualified. I'm depressed - OF COURSE I'm going to drink!"

Turned out she was right and I was wrong ...

Mouseface · 08/09/2010 12:27

Ha!!!

MIFLAW

I was first prescribed ADs years ago following my departure from a very violent relationship.

My GP - who had been my GP and therefore knew me for all of my life, came to my wedding, good family friend etc - said the exact same thing.

I had gone to see him because I'd started to drink heavily.

He said to me "DO NOT drink with these. If you do, you may as well be flushing them down the toilet. And I know that you are thinking 'yeah, right!' But trust me, I know what I am talking about"

Turns out, he had been in my shoes (drinking wise) on more than one occasion.

But guess what..................

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