The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Sleep well. Hope the DTs are ok too! And DP.

wrinkly

In that case, is it worth a visit to the docs? Or, do you think that this will pass too?

Every little thing can build and chip away at your self-esteem to make your world an unhappy place.

If you don't want to stop drinking, then don't. Do it when you want to.

But maybe think about what you can do to reduce the triggers. Apply for another job? Maybe even think about a change in direction?

Why not make small changes to your life? Spruce your inner self up a bit! Spring clean your grey matter! Do something different!

Do something for you.

Sorry to love you and leave you but bed is calling for me now!!

Sleep well wrinkly. xx

Hi wrinkly I am glad you've posted again, it leaves a gap when people drop off this thread.

You poor girl, you sound very down, a combination of circumstances, endogenous depression (i.e. stuff to do with your system not stuff to do external events) and of course the wine. It is a crap place to be, and all of it together feels woeful. But you know there are things that you can do.

FIRST You are half a bottle down (maybe more by now) well just STOP IT THERE. Please. Go and pour the rest away. It will be a start. Then one day as a time, as you drink less and less, the depressive effect of alcohol will be reduced from that hellish mix you are experiencing.

SECOND. Go to the docs. Be honest about how you feel, get the right ADs, and keep on going back until you get the right meds and the right amount that work for you.

THIRD. So if you didn't get that job. You'll get another. I know that is easy to say in a recession, but just go for loads, please don;t pin all your hope on one. I bet you are loads more employable than you think you are, adn I do know a bit about these things, so for once I am not talking out of my arse.

Thanks Mouse Indie and venus,just being back on here has given me a little lift. Sorry Venus - fnished the bottle (doesn't take me long!)but I feel for the first time in what feels like weeks, that tomorrow I'll at least try not to drink. Have been thinking about going to the doctor's, just that I've spent the last 2 years there (that's why I took medical reduncancy from my last job)and they must be sick of the sight of me. Will think about it tomorrow with a clear head.

Night all xx

Night wrinkly. And come back tomorrow x

Hello,

I see I was last on yesterday, and first on today.

Won't be around much today as I'm off out to earn some money.

Hope that you all slept well and have a good day today.

Mouse. I think I love you! Your unfailing kindness when you are feeling shit is a huge gift.

Venus I was here for your goodnight last night but felt bad about posting. I had that half bottle last night while my friend drank two bottles. Sort of not a total failure but I do feel cheesed off this morning. Oh well. Today I will not drink at all.

Just about to go and wake up friend to make sure her Mot gets done today.

I am not sure about an addictive gene, I was using a clumsy short hand. There is plenty of evidence that addiction clusters in families and I am sure environment has more to do with it.

Have a good day everyone.

Wrinkly do get appointment at gp. Such depression is horrible.

In the meantime shall we do a dry day together?

morning all!

wrinkly - you sound so very low and unhappy, i wish i could find the words that will help you - please keep posting, we are ALL rooting for you!

mouse!, sending you a special little squeeze!, you are a fantastic, brave and wonderful woman!

see you all later!

Morning starting, please never feel that you can't post because you've been drinking, and well done for leaving it at a half bottle (I think I would have struggled with that tbh).

Take care of your friend, and take special care of YOU.

Morning all,
Thanks for all your support last night. Feeling more positive this morning, no hangover which I suppose says something (bad) about my tolerance level. The sun is shining, which always lifts my mood, got DS off to school and writen a 'to do' list. I used to write lists all the time for everything, but haven't done it for years - forgot how therapeutic it was to get things down on paper, so given myself lots to do today insead of just sitting around feeling helpless, which is what I have been doing.
Thinking of going to the doc's, not sure, but will give it serious thought
Today I shall NOT be drinking.

Good morning Babes!

So sorry that you are finding things shit and difficult wrinkly, lucil and starting. Just try not to drink today, one day at a time. Make that decision just for today. Then tomorrow you can think about it again.

mouse - I am so glad that you went to the doc's. Well done! (I have suffered despression on and off for years and am currently taking anti-d's. Being (mainly) off the booze can only be a good thing!) How was medium-mouse's first day at big school?

venus, MsGee, wasindie, JWN, MIFLAW, maddogs et al - hello to you all!

I am feeling fantastic today! It's Day 5 so I had a wonderful night's sleep and I am feeling refreshed and ready for anything. Got into work early so have already got quite a lot done. Go me (if I may say so?!)

Here's to another sober day!

Morning Brave Babes!

Well, another lovely sleep for me. I could get used to this!! And Nemo was really settled too.

Can I make a rule? Would anyone mind?

Here it is - WHETHER YOU ARE DRINKING OR SOBER, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER SO POST!!

Or something like that! No matter who you are, how far along you are, please, please post. There will always be someone around to listen.

DD went off to school on the bus this morning, I told her to text me once she got there, she hasn't.

MrM is out all day interviewing.

Nemo's nurse is coming. I've been up since 7am, done 2 loads of washing, phoned the idiots re the heating grant we have, made my lunch for later, prepped dinner, chatted with the builders, showered, dressed myself and Nemo and taken my meds.

Coffee and toast now.

Phew!!!!

And, TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!! WHO IS WITH ME?????

Morning mouse - bloody hell you have got loads done!

Morning SAF, I read your post and found it really interesting. So definitely not boring - don't put yourself down!

I did SAF.

And, that is my past, almost word for word! Your parents could be mine. The drinks cabinet, the raiding of it, swigging Harvery's Bristol Cream sherry.

The drugs, first speed, then pills and then coke. Always searching for that high, that buzz.

See the 'difference' between us, is that I am an alcoholic.

As in - I drink to feel fuzzy. I drink because I think fuck it, I want a high. I want that warm, mellow hit. I can't stop at one, two or three drinks. I can't not drink the bottle if it's open.

I used to hide how much I drank, take a slurp and top up my glass more than anyone else's.

Sneak a drink whilst I was alone before it was officially 'drink o'clock'.

I have no control once I start.

The more I have, the more I want and need to get that high.

And, even though, I know it could ruin my life, damage my mental and physical well being, I would still have a drink. Right now, if you offered me one.

That way it would be your fault. You offered it so it would be rude not to take it. I have never walked past a free bar to the soft drinks. Never.

I'd rather stay at home and drink than go out and see people. That way, I could have as much as I wanted and no-one would know.

Well, no-one but me!

So, I am an alcoholic.

mouse - you are on fire this morning! Lots of similar stuff for me - cabinet raiding and drugs etc. Although alcohol was always my drug of choice.

Thanks Red - how are you today?

Hey SAF, I read it all, and with some relief because I identified with you so much. I was also "never-say-no" party girl. In some ways I miss that life, but mostly I think it was pretty desperate and empty.

The only difference is that i would say I AM an alcoholic. Because when I drink I can't control my drinking. Because my life HAS become unmanageable.

No one can say whether you are one or not, but I understand the rule of thumb to be that non-alcoholics do not ask themselves whether they are alcoholics.

Thank goodness you have put yourself out mouse! I am really good today, really positive. Went to another great meeting last night (although I was sulking and moaning because it was pouring down and I wanted to watch the football! ) But I am glad I went!

SAF - It's your call re Sat night. I am not sure what to say. If you don't want to drink probably best to stay in...

Hi maddogs, yes I totally agree with what you are saying re non-alkies not quizzing themselves about their drinking! They either have a drink or they don't, simple! (For them, the bastards )

Moomin - Well done for going to a meeting. You really didn't miss anything, I'm sure your meeting was a LOT more interesting than the football (and I say that as a massive footie fan!).

SAF - what happens if you say to your friend that you are not drinking right now for health reasons, and would she like to do something else instead? Do you think she would do the same as last time and go home by herself to drink? That kind of evening sounds like way too much temptation, I personally wouldn't go, but I understand you want to be a friend.