The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

My dad is an alcoholic. He has lost jobs and friends and very nearly family. His health is shot to pieces and before he lost his license (again) he drove over the limit on many occasions, sometimes without problems but often resulting in accidents. He is now unable to walk (a direct consequence of alcohol intake) and still drinks. He drinks cider first thing ion the morning, and it used to be whiskey when he could afford it. It is hidden )(badly) and he is ashamed. Yet, still he drinks.

My friend is quite probably an alcoholic. Her marriage breakdown and the recent break up are directly attributable to her alcohol consumption. She is unable to work and frequently cannot remember what she has said or done.

I have a problem with alcohol in that I drink almost every evening. The quantity required in order to feel chilled and sleep has been increasing steadily. If I don't drink I suffer no physical consequences. I have never ever not remembered what I have said/done and I have never driven whilst drunk. I have never placed my family at risk at all although I have on one occasion embarrassed my teenage son as we became very silly and slurry, and he had friends here

But I have a drinking problem. I take antidepressants and pain killers. If I am totally honest I suspect I would have more of a problem kicking the pain killers rather than the booze. I am overweight (not hugely) and am treated for high blood pressure. I rarely have a hangover and to be honest that worries me. My tolerance is way too high. Therefore I need to stop drinking.

My brother is a Class A addict (although functioning and pretty posh), I smoke - if there is an addictive gene it is in my family. I need to stop.

Willing to consider whether this makes me an alcoholic?

Lucil, as Mouse says, at least you have no more booze. Tmrw is a new day and you won't have a bad hangover so there is head space to think of a different way to deal with PIL.

starting - I used to list a lot of reasons why I wasn't an alcoholic but avoided the main reason why I was - that I struggled to stop drinking. That it was a battle every day to not have a few glasses. If it had been easy I wouldn't have come on this thread.

I'm not sure where I stand on the addictive gene - nature / nurture thing but I don't think you should accept addiction as your destiny.

Mouse / Wasindie - hello

Yes, no more booze but of course part of me is dying for another drink. I really do find it worse to drink in a smallish amount than not drink at all. That should tell me something, right?
My maternal grandmother was an alcoholic. I am not convinced though by the addictive gene theory. I haven't researched it.
I do know that I struggled not to chain smoke before I stopped prior to DC aged 3's conception. I haven't even managed that properly. I still suck on a nicorette inhalator 3 years later, eat a whole box of chocolates, a big bag of crisps...you get the idea.
I have struggled with moderation all my life.

hello luci!, your fil sounds a real charmer! - why should you let him help the booze control you?, get a bit deffiant my girl!, give the booze the old heave ho!, tell it to fucking well fuck the fuck off!, kick it out the door! i promise you will feel SOOOOOOO fucking powerful that you will be able to cope with any old shit your fil trys out! and be able to treat him with the indifferance and disdain he deserves!

starting - im sorry you have to deal with your df and your dbs addiction problems - i have no idea if there is a gene, the thing is, while you are agonising over weather you have it too, and weather or not you are an alcoholic or a problem drinker, the actual problem is not going to go away - the bottom line is that you are worried and unhappy about your alcohol intake - try not to over think it, dont analyise it, dont keep pondering it, just dont drink, a day at a time! i know its an old message, sounds a bit samey, we say it most days on here, the point is though, it works!

luci - i have NEVER, in all my life done 'moderation'! be it drinking, smoking, sex, driving fast, loving, hating, spending money - i have lived hard all my adult life - now, im not doing this 'giving-up the booze' thing in moderation! - dont fuck about with it! get a grip girl!! you can do this!!

Agreed. The label does not matter. What does matter, to me, is that I do no drink today.

Thanks guys. You are stars.

starting - YOU matter!!, it MATTERS that you are happy, functioning and enjoying your life, otherwise, what the bloody hell are we here for? i know that life can be shitty at times, but it dosnet half help when you can deal with the shitty stuff without getting pissed!

Passing through to say good evening to everyone.

The only way to give up the booze is to STOP

For all of us, every sinlge one of us, moderation is NOT an option.

If it were, we wouldn't be posting would we?

If it were, we'd be able to stop at one or two drinks.

If it were, we wouldn't hide what we really drank. (past tense)

If it were, we'd be in control.

If it were, we would see the danger, the risks and the ruin and stop at two drinks.

If it were, we would not stop at anything for that next drink.

If it were, we'd buy the nice bottle of wine, instead of the cheaper two. Or three.

If it were, it would still be 3 for £10 instead of 3 for £12.

am off to bed, i am shattered and i have another day with the hong-kongish fella tomorrow - goodnight everyone, sleep well!

MsGee

Hello my lovely! How are you? How was your day? Still sorting moving stuff out?

And how is LittleMsGee doing? Stiil happy naming and flushing?

night mouse! you super sober babe!

ha! naming and flushing!! i love you lot!! you loons!

Hi Mouse! How are you? How was your MOT? And DD day?

All ok here, visited house but builder failed to show. Grrr. Still it was nice to spend some time there. Am going to order boxes to pack tmrw! LittleMsGee is being a handful, partly because DH working longer hours this week but mainly her personality! Successful poo yesterday but no stickers for good behaviour for a few days... Lots of hitting today. She is so defiant. But part of me can't help admire her, she is so sure of herself! I don't think I was ever like that.

Oh poo at nursery yesterday so sadly that one not named! They are normally called Poo Poo Gee. She names everything!

Mouse, you are spot on. Goodnight all. Off to bed. Have to be out of the house early tomorrow for DC2's preschool interview.
I feel twitchy and would love another drink. I would normally have re-stocked on the booze yesterday but because I was not going to drink this week there is nothing in the house, only DP's beers and he'd notice if I took one of them.
It's a pint of water and bed for me.

hello all,
just taken me an hour to read this thread, not even lurked since my last post (about 3 weeks ago) as I'm too ashamed, been drinking again, almost every night. Everything in my life seems so shit. Have been trying to get a job - I applied for a job at my husband's work 2 weeks ago, (which I know I could do with one hand tied behind my back) promised mysle fhat once I go it I would stopdrinking as all my problems would be solved ( money & depression & self-pity mainly) and have been waiting for a phone call for an interiew ever since, whivch hasn't happend, seem to spend all day crying and all evening drinking.

sorry to be so negative and self absorbed as usual.

Night all who are off to bed, sleep well. xx

MsGee

Do you have any large stores near to you? Maybe worth seeing if you can have their cardboard boxes? Even if they are flat, you can soon tape them up?

Builders are arses. I know. I sacked the first lot we hired. The great ones are few and far between. I hope yours turns out to have been 'unavoidabley detained' rather than a prick!

Bless LittleMsGee and her determination. You will be glad of that once she is a young woman. Shame you can't put it in a box and give her back later!!

The docs went well, thank you. They have put me on ADs. Not a huge shock. And I'm glad of the extra help. I have 'severe depression' according to the form that you fill in.

Oh well, life goes on!! Keep calm and carry on little Mouseface!!

DD had a brilliant day. I went to meet her after school, me and my crutches in the rain!! Gah!!

Tomorrow is another busy day so I'm going to say goodnight too!!

Stay safe and stay well Brave Babes.

luci - maybe you can try not to drink up until 6pm tomorrow? How about that? And then, if you like, we'll take it from there? You and all of us? A real sense of togetherness might just get you to 7pm or even 7.30pm.

I don't mean to sound patronising, I just think if you feel like we are there with you, it may be easier. Sleep well. xx

BTW my typing is a bit bad as am halfway down the bottle (and no tea, lost my appetite) but also the "T" button on my keyboard is knackered so any missing T's aren't my fault

Hello wrinkly

I was thinking about you earlier. Don't worry about not catching up or posting.

How are we going to get you out of this cycle then? Why are you so upset?

Do you want to stop drinking?

don't know. don't even feel as if I care, if it kills me then I wont be down anymore and bringing everyone else down

wrinkly

I went to the doctors today. For the first time in a long time re my mental state. I filled out a qustionaire.

It asked about feeling suicidal. It asked about want to be left alone. It asked about feeling anxious and nervous.

I told the GP that I wanted to run away some days. Some days with the DCs, some days without.

I told him that some days I hate myself and my life. I hate that Nemo is disabled and I feel to blame. I hate that he is in pain and has a poor quality of life.

I feel ugly and unworthy of love.

I told him how much I used to drink. I told him about the lack of appetite I have, for life, sex and everything between the two.

I told him that I spend my days crying, laughing or shouting. Nothing in between anymore.

I told him I am scared by how I feel and that drinking helps to hide that. It helps me forget. Usually because I was too pissed to remember.

He told me I have severe depression and wants to see me again. And the often.

Does any of that ring true with you? Or similar?

Sorry I know I sound like a drama queen, but feel such a failure I can't think of any good reason to stop. Always had a problem with self esteem which comes and goes and is back with a vengeance.

Hi mouse
Yes it all rings true and it's happened before many times, I had post-natal depression afer DD2 was born (she's 19 in a fornight)and I've not been the same person ever since then . Ironically the last time was 8 years ago when my dad was dying, and after he'd died it lifted, I think because the worst had happened. I think it's because I've pinned all my hopes on this job, and imagined everying would be alright when I got it, and now I don't look as though I'm even going to make it to interview stage.