ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Yippee........we're up & running again. This will be my last thread as I'm almost recovered at this poing [horror]

Well to continue on with the fashion items, here are more items on sale sale items
I confess I bought something similiar to the yumi short black ruffle dress today on sale. No idea what for but in cold light of day am now thinking mutton & lamb for a woman rapidly approaching 40!

I know what you mean Startin', acceptance is the biggest step to moving forwards i think .
Onwards and upwards,
Chin Up ,Tits Out x

X POST !!!
Replying to 00.34
Def not muttony yet LOL!

Patience, buy a pair of those knee high boots with heels & you'll be half way to acceptance . I also love the winter because when you're single you can look fab on the outside but beneath your clothes be hiding horrible hairy legs . One of the small pleasures of being single.........

X post also . Oh thank you lovely Patience for saying I'm still youthful enough to be wearing a dress like that

Morning everyone.

Thankyou patience ,yes thats right I think so much of it is habit as I spent a lot of time thinking about my marriage when we were together as things werent right for a very long time. Now my mind is split between times of being glad its over because as my brother has said why would I want to be with someone who doesnt love me and all the downsides of exh and on the other hand wringing my hands about why he didnt love me what has been lost etc.

Also when you said about being out of your comfort zone that applies so much to me as I crave security and knowing where I am with life and right now that isnt happening.

I know that I am a long way down the road to recovery though and there will come a time when everything is sorted out and thats when I can start to really rebuild my life and leave all this behind. I know you will all agree with the wish that there was a ff button !

So posh dresses and knee high boots..it all sounds like hard work but great for flagging self esteem

Chairmum you lucky thing with baby Anya I loved that stage it sounds like you are contented. Dont forget if you get those 5 minutes to tell us how you got to be here...

Starting I am sure you will look fab in your dress

AB hope you are ok

Happy hope the weather on your holiday was better than mine !

Sov agree with everything said about boundaries, seeing someone who you love who gives out such mixed messages isnt going to help accept its over.

So today practical step is to sort out house washing etc to get sorted for the weekend.

Emotional step is to formulate a list of positives and every time I find my mind wandering to a sad or negative thought to force it out and go over the list until I feel better.

Waves to Pink, Mumfun , Tea , LC and any lurking dumplings

morning all

getting - my brain is doing the same as yours at the moment

practical step- start to rebuild my thought pathways
emotional step - see above

thanks for your post about this patience it makes so much sense.

chairmum - you baby sounds adorable

AB I just want to say I think you are doing really well and that you should be gentle on yourself as our brains are doing the same thing but I am months ahead of you.

Its good you have been strong but as Starting has often said we do need to reflect on some of the sadness as part of the healing and grieving process and not always consider it a form of wallowing. If I remember this all began for you around mid June ? That really isnt long ago and yet you have come a long long way already.

I agree AB only reason i am coping with last weekends bullshit is i have had months of practise with Xs shite.They do become predictable and Xs lies this week are beyond even his wildest stories b4,all about making him look good and normal,i just have to hope that people will see him for who he is .I DEF need to keep my side of the street clean and im away to book a Sol appointment now.
Really thought i had found a house last night but too far out ,gave the town name in ad but actually 10 miles out of town aargh!
Forgot twice today [only for a second]where i had parked the car now my routine is brand new re school and new nursery drop off in the morning ,but i had a wee laff to myself and thought " pathways" you just realise how much practical and emotional day to day stuff is habit.Now I've changed my habits its all going to be good ladies ,will report back about haircut ,away to look for some clothes online ,have a fab day x

Patience sorry about house but I am because it sounds very rural where you live and all my Cornwall Devon travels have made me yearn for a countryside home. However I have thought about it as I have to move too but with 2 older dc I would become a taxi and I did enjoy being in a city as a teenager.

Hah I know what I could do I could draw a picture in my mind of my post dc home with lots of huggable trees

Btw Patience are your dc back at school ? So now you can devote yourself to the gorgeous Patience project

Yes trying to get my head back into it Getting,just hoping to get the house thing sorted then there will be no stopping me x

Top of the morning to my fellow Dumplings & Happy Anniversary to Starting! . On this day many moons ago I commited to love xh & forsake all others . I kept me end of that, xh on the other hand I think must have just wanted a nice day out with pals . Ok, in honour of my special day I think my emotional step might be a takeaway & my practical step is to clean out my car as I have my road worthy check next wk & currenly it would fail on hygiene alone . I am also aiming to cut the grass & do some housework!

Would love to text xh Happy Anniversary for the laugh . I'd bet the twunt doesn't even realise the date ..........

Blimey Starting your insouciance is amazing !!

Being nosey Starting how long ago did your marriage end ?

Actually Starting if you had planned ahead you could have organised one of those Moonpig cards for xh. You know along the lines of Happy Anniversary you stupid oversexed lying cheating Twunt .

Someone else on another thread did it for her exh birthday but didnt actually send it as I recall.

Getting this time last yr xh was still in house & I was waiting for court order to have him removed !

X post Getting as I got a phone call mid typing last post. Card would have been a great idea but don't think xh would have seen the funny side .........

Tbh, I love having a good laugh & think it's important to see the humour even in the worst of things!

On another point, I think you're prob at turning point Getting. Most people say it takes from a yr to two yrs to get back on track. I'd prob have been further down the line only for all the drama of deaths, court cases, sex revelations etc.........

Hi all

Starting i hope you have a wonderful day today, make sure you indulge yourself and relax, you deserve it, infact we ALL deserve it, i think that my emotional today will be to relax and pamper myself tonight in a lovely bubbly bath and my practical will be to scrub the bathroom out as i will be letting the kids in there later and they always manage to destroy it somehow

may even get some candles out and a bottle of something :o

Am feeling guilty today because XP didnt come yesterday and the DC wont see him till sunday but i am consoling myself that if he was that bothered he would have called and that it's not my fault he is a flake. I am putting my hard face on even had XSIL over today for a while and we were discussing him and it just makes me realise even more that yes i DO miss him BUT if he came back everything would go back to how it was and i DONT want that, since he's left nothing has changed (except him drinking lots) he still gets everyone else to do stuff for him and the bits that are left down to him just dont get done because he's too damn lazy

Feeling good today other than that little blip :)

oh and i heard (not sure how true it is) but it's supposed to take 1 month for every year you were together to get over someone....thoughts??

That's interesting Sov as I'm just passed that point, nearly 30 months. I don't think I'll ever get over him properly, that would be like saying you get over the death of a child...and you don't, you just learn to live with it.

I'm %100 better than I was and most of the time I can have a laugh and I'm getting on with my life.

However it's the fact that my parents employ him which is what kills me every day and what prevents me properly moving forward in a care free way. It's what keeps me stuck with loathing in my heart. It's what keeps my tears flowing and hate in my heart.

My first angry face. I can get over him, lying, smug twunt...but I can't get over them.

Big hugs Pink.
I have filled in so many forms recently naming me as sole charge parent i think it has helped me move on.Need to get back into routine of working again that is my practical step for next week ,also booked gps appointment for necessary tests My emotional step will be my make over to pep me up ,new hair new clothes ,new style ,new life x

Pink

That sounds about right Sov i am 10 mths in give or take a few lapses ,so i reckon by Easter i will be just about there.

I Can See Clearly