ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Ok playing "Toy Tig" invented by DD.I have just been tagged by a doggie hot water bottle cover and all toys are currently making their way thru from the bedroom to join the game ,still raining outside .

Searchin the freezer for a frozen mars bar and kettle is on 4t .

Patience, trifle sounds about right

Pink, part of this is that he has genuinely been hit v v hard by recession. There is a possibility that he is going to dissappear for awhile now with business gone (maybe wishful thinking on my part). Would end up costing too much to try & chase the money. Sol is best in field so have faith that she will get best possible outcome for me however insolvency puts me in a weak position. He is capable of anything so won't know what's on agenda till next wk. It is also v possible that he plans to do the right thing by dc's & me .

Fucketty f f f*

Happy ((Hugs)) ((Hugs)) ((Hugs))

Thank god for you lot x did I ever tell you I love you all x

Starting, wtf? Your x is a piece, isn't he? You have to rise above this because otherwise he'll drag you down to his level. I mean would any of us withold money from our dcs??? It beggars belief. Thanks re Monday although because it's just the plea we don't have to attend so we might not find out for a while. It is feasible that he will plead guilty and be sentenced the same day. The charge is ABH so he could get a custodial sentence.

Can't wait to see my new man, Dodger, tomorrow. We have to go to a pre-adoption talk and hopefully we'll get to spend some time with him. I'm going to see him as often as possible until he comes home.

I've just read Liz Smith's autobiography (nana from the Royle family). She got dumped on too. If I'd read her book 6 months ago it would not have resonated in the same way. She suffered great stigma being a single parent in the late 50's and 60's. At least nobody expects us to feel shame. Although I am quite embarrassed to tell people what has happened to me. Not sure if it's shame or just not wanting to be pitied.

Happy, what's happened?

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche

LC I can't really say on here sorry. Not tonight anyway. Xx

sending you my love happy x

My god Starting I am so sorry it sounds like this has come out of the blue. Can I ask will this impact on your immediate day to day life or is it more about your long term security ?

Whats happened to his business, nothing to do with me but your sol suggesting its a deliberate attempt at hurting you seems rather unprofessional and very Hollywood iyswim? Still that doesnt change the fact that it sounds like your security is being undermined and if you are anything like me then thats tantamount to emotional avalanche

Happy, I have grown to love you & the other dumplings on this thread too over the past 10mts. There was many a dark & lonely night where you helped me to smile through the pain & tears. I'm just sorry I can't be there for you in person. Am here supporting you now but unfortunately it has to be virtual ((Hugs))

Happy, I love you too. Not sure what's happened but hoping it's fixable.

LC & Getting hard to explain it all here without going into too much detail on public forum etc. Suffice it to say solicitor had reason to say what she said & was basing it on other facts etc. This has been on the cards with awhile so it wasn't out of the blue but I guess hearing about the insolvency hearing yesterday has just made it real now & triggered a bit of insecurity & fear. It puts me in a v vunerable position financially. As I said previously part of this is genuine. It really depends now on xh's frame of mind or what he's planning. He could make life v hard for me or he may be intending to step up to the plate finally. It's anyone's guess really. Anyway I've off loaded the worry now & I'm going to leave it at that till I know further. I need to detach from it all now, what will be will be

going to buy this Its autumn and i need something warm

Hope you are ok Happy

Pink great post about self esteem. The longer I am by myself the more my self esteem seems to be building which is important because I want to be super strong for any future relationships so that I walk away if its wrong rather than putting up with stuff I shouldnt which I did in the 5 year relationship I had prior to being with xh too.

Starting how are you feeling this morning? I think you seem to be well equipped emotionally to say what will be will be and mean it . Something I am constantly striving for and sometimes I can access that part of myself but not always.

LC sorry about your sons experience that sounds horrible. Being nosey do your older dc see their Dad at all ? Hope it all goes well with your new furry man later

I had a lovely evening cuddled up with the dc watching SCD last night and I made them a special dinner with steak. We love steak but I never do it at home partly the cost but also confidence. Xh had a way of letting you know you couldnt do things quite as well as him and so in the end I just didnt bother and cooking a steak without ruining it fell into that category.

Met a friend yesterday whose marriage hit the rocks last Christmas when she met someone else, she almost left but then didnt and they have been trying to make a go of things since then. It seems it hasnt worked and she is still in love with om and on the cusp of ending her marriage. I know we have been on the receiving end of this and I recall talking to her early in the year and it felt very raw listening to a close friend talking a lot like xh had been. It really showed me how far I have come yesterday that I was advising her so dispassionately iyswim ? Also I came away thinking thank goodness I have almost completed the worst part of the break up journey and I feel sad to know what she and her family will go through.

Well all my plans to do something with dc yesterday came to nought in fact ds stayed in his dressing gown all day ! I think I am like someone who is frozen in time at the moment waiting for settlement email. I went into my inbox yesterday like I was about to try and defuse a bomb even though I knew it was unlikely that he would send me anything over the weekend.

Waves to Tea Patience Mumfun AB Sov Rom and all dumplings

Hi all. Having a difficult time here. Not sure how things will work out. A lot of frightening stuff. XH for once being helpful. He has stayed overnight - my first cup of tea in bed for years.

Nice link Patience.

Getting, I understand what you mean about the steak. I have plenty of moments like that and am learning to feel the fear and do it away.

Thanks for the kind words LC. I don't know how fixable it is at the moment.

Starting I am hoping you are having a lie in and re charging your batteries. Your goodness shines through and, whilst the journey is difficult, things will work themselves out, I know it.

hello not read the thread fully yet

but wanted to welcome romney

and also say that no I was not drunk on sat night (was my spelling that bad LC??? ) no i was very good and only had 2 glasses of wine the whole night - my watch is dignity at the moment and did not want to be the pissed newly single mum making afool of herself

happy - sorry to hear you are having a bad time - take care of yourself sweetheart x

I'm so sorry to hear that Starting ((hugs)) from me too, as you say what will be will be. You're being an amazing dumpling through adversity as ever!

Happy glad BE helped. Hope it all sorts itself out ((hugs)) for you too.

Love the top Patience.

Off to church for my weekly chill out whilst the DCs play in kids creche next door, they have really nice toys and crafty stuff for them. Be back later x

Morning all, had a throughly shit time at wedding reception!

X was meant to be coming today to pick up last bits of his stuff, just texted to say he will come tommorrow instead, so so want to text back and ask if he is too busy with his tart!!!

Oh f**k why can they make you feel so shit!

tis love Romney and a pain so raw !
He isnt considering your feelings at the moment but you also start to take some control,can you pack his stuff and take it to a mutual friend or leave it in the garage or something.If he upsets you when you see him take back some control that is my advice,cry if you need to punch the couch if you need to and ride ur horse as often as you can .This too will pass x
Re sleeping i used to stay up late posting on here and have 5 or 6 good hours sleep or i would read articles online or read a book ,ive also started doin tai chi ,you will find your own path to a good sleep and peace in ur head,you are in the right place here x

morning everyone,

Bad nights sleep last night, looks like it's going to be like that for a few days, have noticed that im quite distracted and start going over things in my head for a few days after confrontations with X, hate dwelling on things, but cant seem to stop then the, how did we end up like this questions surface again [sigh] [:(] This shall pass

Happy, whatever has happened i hope your ok and things come right in the end ((hugs))

Starting for hope it makes you smile

Romney, i agree with Patience it may be better to give his things to someone else or not be there when he does collect them, i remember how i felt when X collected his things and left, it was devastating to watch him pick them up and walk away with no hesitation or looking back :( you need to do what's best for your sanity

Getting, theres nothing wrong with doing nothing and chilling out all day enjoy it :o and keep away from your emails till monday just push it out of your mind

forgot to add, waves to all and hopes todays a good day for everyone :o

Happy, I hope good things come your way today. I think I may have an inkling of what it might be but not from anything that's been said on here.

Getting, my son's experience was/is truly the worst thing that has ever happened to our family including divorce, separation, bereavements etc. He faces another 6 months of surgery to reconstruct his jaw/teeth and has had to drop out of uni. Yes, the older two have a lot of contact with their father. In fact, he took and collected us all from the airport on our recent trip away. He was also the first person to offer sympathy when he heard that xp and I had split .

Armbow, it was the hic! at the end of your last post and then your absence yesterday morning but glad to hear that you behaved yourself!

Romney, I couldn't face a wedding reception either so well done for just showing your face. I don't think I would have bothered . Like you, my xp has not told anyone about our split so it's horrid meeting people you haven't seen for a while. Not even his parents or sister know yet. He has told two people that we are "having problems" . Don't jump to conclusions about what your H is up to today. Maybe he and ow are having a blazing row. Maybe she's banned him from coming round to the house when you are present. She will feel threatened by you as you were and will probably continue to be a very significant person his life. Much as you still love him, would you really want to be in her shoes right now?