Oh my god. I can't believe this has happened, and life has unraveled so fast. From 12 years of marriage and 2 kids to nothing in 3 months.
I posted 3 months ago about a late night text alerting me to an OW. Emotional affair, didn't seem to love her, and we started therapy.
We were talking through the issues preceding, the lack of affection which had built up and all that. I was quite willing to change, and share the blame.
Went away as a family, but felt I was doing all the running, starting the conversations, buying the books to discuss. He was passive and pessimistic. Didn't feel right still. I'd have expected more input from him.
I knew there had been a specific time when my eldest dc (who's 10 now) was a newborn, when things changed. I couldn't put my finger on what went wrong.
So in therapy I had been blaming myself, had newborn, lack of attention to dh, all the usual.
One day on holiday, though, I went through his entire sent box (he'd deleted the inbox) and found a message from him to a girl saying he wasn't able to talk on the phone because I was in the room.
Confronted him, he admitted it was a 2 year affair with his p.a, when we had newborn, he thought about leaving, decided to stay but never stopped having feelings for her.
Nothing going on now, and the evidence was from years ago. But he lied, and lied, and lied. Listened to me blaming myself.
Too much betrayal.
Within days it was all over. Told parents, told kids, planned where he'll move to.
He's gone from being passive and sullen to all action. This is what he wanted all along, but was too weak to ask for.
I have been terrified of the future (I'm 42) cried more tears than I would have thought humanly possible, and now, 2 weeks later, am starting to feel incredibly angry.
Help me see the light at the end of the tunnel.