ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 6

[gettingeasier]

Cant survive 5 minutes without this thread

Its swings and roundabouts I know but sometimes I envy you dumplings with young dc who go cone picking and throwing tinsel around the room !! I really loved being at home with my dc and doing all that stuff and its so full on it doesnt leave you much time to sit around brooding on things.

When I get my dc back in an hour my ds will be showing me dozens of photos of flash cars hes seen on holiday and taken on his phone not asking if he can watch Shaun the Sheep ! Btw I am now a huge fan of Shaun having watched several episodes at my cousins

Tefol glad everything is sounding so upbeat with you - any sore heads today ?

LC you are very quiet hope all is going well

Crikey Starting so your exh was a crooner

Well I am feeling ok this morning looking forward to getting dc back , the 12 days has flown by and I am pleased I did so much especially going to Devon with my Dad and building some bridges in that direction.

Another thing I am grateful for is the support my family are still giving me, I would never have predicted it. My brother in particular still rings regularly (never rang before)and never makes me feel like a bore if I talk about exh etc. I am sure your sister is concerned about you Patience . I dont know how close you are but maybe you need to just tell her you would like some support,maybe she doesnt know what to do ?

Actually that thread I mentioned yesterday was really sad in the respect that so many people felt they had nobody in RL who cared about them or supported them which must be awful.

Off to turn myself into something human looking, unfortunatly I will have to see exh when he drops dc as he wants to pick up some stuff. This is my next aim ie to not be concerned at having to see him face to face and start to speak to him when he comes to the house to get/drop dc.

Oh for the days when my next aim was to lose half a stone !

I have no hangover which is remarkable

no conquests tea tbh I did notice a couple of admiring glances coming my way but i would not know where to start anymore, i am soooo out of practice. Also i just can't be bothered with stroking any bloke's ego for quite a while yet. (no pun intended !!!!!!! )

glad you had a good 12 days getting, i too have a strong family network around me and i thank my lucky stars every single day.

starting are you going to meet this Norm then? I am wondering what to do with all my jewellery too - some of it i love though and would like to wear it. maybe over time it will lose some of the sentimental value and i can wear it without remembering why i was bought it.

chairmum - it is so great that you can have a good relationship with your h still - i think going to get the photos done is a lovely idea - fantastic thing to do for the kids. Go for it with a new hair "do" it was just what the doctor ordered for me.

patience please eat something. are you feeling any better today? What you say about feeling your emotions and letting them flow out of you has stuck with me - i think it is vital that we don't bottle things up. wishing you a serene and laughter filled sunday x

sov hope you are ok. give counselling a go if you think it would help - please don't fall into the trap of starting to look at your own faults as the cause of all this.

Hello to Pink party happy (hope you are having a cool time) LC and kitty

feeling good today - had a wonderful time yesterday. I really neglected my friends when i was with h as i spent so much energy keeping him happy and pandering to his needs. The whole saga of my relationship with him is starting to unravel and reveal itself for what it really was. I have become a people pleaser and i found this link about it - don't know if anyone else would find it useful.

people pleasers

Hi everyone
Having a great week here, had family to stay and really, lovely friends.
My Dc also had a party, so 20 late teens here too, what fun.
Cheered me up no end, seeing all the young ones having fun, but been cleaning up after them since. In fact two of them still here!!! Do they not have homes to go to.
Never mind they will be back at Uni before I know it and the house will be quiet again

Things going well with NM, I've been seeing him now for 2 months, but he has just used the L word. I am really well involved with him but is it love for me too? I have no idea, is that a bad thing? He is a lovely man, very kind and caring, funny and we have fab sex. The DC think he is ok too.

Hi all,

having a productive ish day today. Been a bit lethargic the last few days and letting all the crap/chores get on top of me.

Love the word 'chores', reminds me of The Waltons. Always wanted to be part of that family...preferably the mum cos I really fancied the dad, even when I was little.

Patience, I'm so sorry about your H and the heartbreak you're going through now. In a way it's been made worse by the hope you recentley had. It hurts SO MUCH I know, especially if you still fancy them. I made the stupid mistake of looking through a few photo albums last night. Got so many gorgeous ones of the DC but looking at him was just too awfull. He wasn't really my type when we met but over the years he grew into the most beautiful man and I melted at the sight of him.

Thing is though, I had the best of him and now OW has the dregs.

I too never got any compliments, not even on my wedding day.

I put up with it and alot more as I was told by certain people that I was 'lucky to have him'. It was only when he left and the twuntishness shone through that with the help of my friends, I realised that in fact he was bloody lucky to have me.

Chaimum....sorry for the love you've lost but well done for keeping H as a friend, in fact congratulations for that.

Soverign....I feel your pain. Having suspisions is so awful. I absolutley dreaded my exh finding someone else but actually when he texted me that he had, though I was totally distraught for a few days, I prefered that to him being free and single and happilly shagging around. Having another woman means he's tied down, not free to do what he wants, has someone nagging him, spending his money, getting PMT, moaning,and everything else which comes with being in a relationship.

And I KNOW that she's not as good as me in SO many ways and though she's taller and slimmer and might not have as much baggage as me, he's definately stuck with an inferior model.

Soverign, our twunts are top liers, don't believe him, don't trust him.

IME most of them can't bear to be on thier own for more than 5 mins so they grab the nearest bit of available skirt to hang on to.

They don't know what to do on their own and aren't resorsful and imaginative like us.

Tea,........PMSL at damp squib in the bedroom

Mine wasn't a damp squib but it was nice though he didn't oblige me very often.

Hope your're having a good time Happy,

Good luck LC

glad you had a good time Armbow,

Lots of love Starting and everyone else.

lovely Sunday afternoon song for us dumplings.

Waves to everyone ate a bounty bar today and smoked about 20 cigs,STBXH told me his friend says he needs to find a new woman and that will sort him out LOL!This bloke is a complete wanker BTW he will have my X in the gutter if he is not there already ,I just need free of all this bullshit,think this week will be a turning point for me ,roll on Sept, x

Waves to all.......

Tea, xh loved elvis & the songs suited his voice so it wasn't the content as such.

Getting, he wasn't a professional crooner, just something he liked to do & was good at (helped inflate his already inflated ego too!). Hope you're having a great time with your dc's back home .

Pink, good that you know you got the best your xh had to give. I know that too & it helps knowing he's nothing really to offer anyone else.

Party, glad life is going so well for you. Great that you were able to do party for dc.

Teflon, glad you had a great night out & got plenty of admiring glances. You should deff wear the jewellery if you like it. I got loads from xh down through the years (the later ones prob guilt presents )but am going to get back into wearing it now aswell as it's a waste just leaving them in boxes. Not sure about meeting Mr Normal but will wait & see what progresses.

Patience, sending you big ((Hugs)). Keep ranting & it will get easier bit by bit.

Stayed in pj's all day today! Headache morphed into a virus I think & hadn't the energy to move all day. Dc's just settled down tg.

Bloody hell Patience.....that's so twuntish of your H to tell you that. That's really p*ssed me off that he told you that, his insensitivity is beyond belief.

Mind all those ciggies, they're not good for you.

Hope you feel better tomorow Starting.

Waves to all

Didnt sleep well last night (must get a new bed and burn the old one) just cant sleep in the bed we concieved 3 of our DC in, cried when i got in bed last night cause XP wasnt there to cuddle into so a new bed is in order i think :)

Good day today though, bribed the DC to help me clean
Mum has decide i'm going out with her saturday night and my SD is going to babysit only thing is were off to a singles club
Sooo off shopping for new clothes for myself as well as school uniforms tomorrow, totally have no idea what to get
AND one of my close mates has asked me to be Maid of Honour at her wedding next year soo pleased as ive never done it before and feel very honoured
Also survived a XP visit today, when he turned up i was dancing around to

and didnt stop just cause he came in, infact i pumped out and danced to tunes the entire time he was here :o it wasnt intentional that it was playing when he arrived but thought it very apt :o

i have planned a take away and film for me and DS1 tomorrow evening and he asked if his dad could come so i said fine, text him to ask and he replied by saying "i dont know will let you know nearer the time" what a muppet, cant even commit to his 7yo, wanker!!

Hope this week is a good week for us all and PINK my XP had nothing to offer me and wont have anything to offer anyone else either as he's too damn lazy, told him when he left he'd never do better than me as no one else will put up with his crap, even his sister who he's been staying with for 6 weeks is sick of it and says she feels like his mum, i just said welcome to MY world btw thats his little sister by 5 years lmfao

how do you do the links with just a word and the link inside and also so that you just click on it and it takes you there???

Soverign, it shows you below the smileys how to do the links

Dumplings I am f***g furious!

Couldn't sleep so got up to do some paperwork & sort some bills. Logged onto my internet banking & the fg maintenance cheque has bounced again. I've had no maintenance for past two months at this stage! I'm so angry, how the f**k could he be so low. Worse, I'm now so agitated I'll hardly get back to sleep.

At this point, I am now officially declaring my xh to be the lowest fg twunt on this thread!

I cannot for the life of me understand what he's up to! He can be jailed for non payment of maintenance & we're back in court for dv charges again next month. Surely he would want to impress judge?? It makes no sense. Two mts ago he asked for the case to be adjourned so that he wouldn't be jailed & would then be able to go back to court in Sept saying he'd done x,y,z i.e. improved relationship with dc, separation agreement finalised, family therapy done etc. Instead we're now back saying no access, no maintenance, never turned up to family therapy & won't submit forms to his sol for separation...............

God Grant me the Serenity to not want to rip that f***s balls off...........

H'B'day Starting!!!!!!!!!! Things can only get better............

Starting, what a complete and utter twunt he is!!!
Certainly dont blame you for being furious, i would be too (if EP ever decideds to give me any money for DC)
My SILEH is the same can never pay on time and he goes through the CSA, always manages to bounce it or change date ect anything to get out of paying, why the hell do they do that!!!

Happy Birthday anywany, try to enjoy it and put him out of your mind, hopefully the judge will order it to be taken direct from his wages

Happy Birthday Starting

I LOVE your specially edited version of the prayer.

God that's SO annoying to say the least. Will you email him about it ?

i want up and dancing ... it will take your mind of the money !!!

(v on your behalf btw - what a wally!)

Ok, have calmed slightly

Pink, I too am actually v proud of my version of the serenity prayer & am going to hold onto it for now . xh doesn't communicate with me in any way shape or form so everything has to be done through sol . Have spoke to sol now & will see what develops.

Soverign, xh owns his own business & has been doctoring accounts since separation commenced. On paper he's broke, reality a diff story! Great that you are feeling more positive & hope you have a great time out at singles night .

Waves to all.......

Patience, hope you're doing ok.

Happy, hope you're busy hugging trees

Big hugs Startin' hope you've got something special planned,Ive had an interesting 24hrs fellow dumplings cant reveal much but I am a fucking superstar even although i say it myself,self restraint is off the scale

Happy Birthday Starting . Sorry to hear your maintenance troubles , I thought the last cheque bounce had turned out to be some kind of admin error ? Hope it works out ok.

Patience hope you are ok whatever you have done or I am guessing not reacted to Well Done!

Was going to lurk only as am on my ds friend sons laptop in Wales and I feel a bit of a sado but saw theres a birthday dumpling!

Am trying to keep smiling and enjoy being back with lovely dc but underneath feeling empty and a bit of a failure last few days. It will pass.

Waves to all

Going to try and get appointment with counsellor just need some top tips x

About fit to burst as my PIL are still pressuring me to go up to Scotland Put a thread in AIBU, I better prepare myself to be flamed

well surprise fucking surprise i have just been dutifully informed that there is someone else on scene but nothing physical has happened yet.

i am shaking.....i can hardly type.

i lost my temper.... big time....he is nothing to me now.

They all read the same manual, don't they these men?

Are you ok?

snap tef hence counsellor,no fags but in a calm spell, cant talk look speak to him ,half his age i physically puked,she says it must be hard for ME,he told me that !

no i am not ok to be honest.

why couldn't he have been honest from day 1 why have i got to go through this pain again?? The same happened to you right tea? you found out a few weeks/months later that there was someone else? was the pain the same all over again ...if i am going to get a second wave of what i went through at the beginning i need to steel myself.

i feel such a mug - everyone on here and in rl have said they thought this would happen but muggins here kept defending him - "oh he is a decent bloke"

i am in tears and shaking

she is very young, the whole thing is textbook. you couldn't have written it to be any more predictable.

oh ffs patience i am so sorry

i knew it was coming deep down it was always a matter of when really.

he even had the cheek to storm off in a huff because i did not take it on the chin.

i hope this all comes back to bite him on the arse.