ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 6

[gettingeasier]

Cant survive 5 minutes without this thread

skunkanansie

skunkanansie Weakdidnt mean to post that other one x2 this is the song i was looking for x

Blurgghhh my stomach actually hurts.... feel like I have been kicked by a donkey.

We will all come out on top in the end right? Bloody hope so.... there had better be something awesome writing for me in the future. I can't have gone through all this pain for nothing surely.

Mine too tef ,it has started going in the way ,just keep thinking of all about him that made you sad,they will never find happiness, mine is a complete "car crash" i just keep thinking once i get away from him for good it must be healthier ,but the thought of them talking about me turns my stomach.So detatchment ,switch off phones etc etc life goes on ,word on the street was i was always a "fit" wife so at least i know they are still looking You know you look fab and you had a wonderful nite out AB so he was ready to bring you down cause you were so happy ,i'm sure you mentioned he has done that before.

yes patience he has always done this as a pattern since the split. hope you are ok.

are you eating?

at least i know that the type of man i am dealing with now ifyswim, it was always such a grey area before but now i know how i need to handle it - like you i am going to detach, set boundaries and take the moral high ground.

surrounded with wooden train track pieces at the moment in an attempt to make the "best twain twack in the whole world" the kids will keep me on track.

Hello everyone (waves to all)

Patience, AB, hope your both feeling better soon, i truly feel for you both, chin up tits out!!!!

Gosh Im just logging in from hols. Very sorry ti hear your news Chairmum but you are an amazing dignified person in the m,idst of all this.

Sorry about sad news for AB, Patience and Starting too. Good advice from Pink :)

Im trying to keep up to date with everyone news.

Im just very relaxed, sleeping a lot. Spent some lovely times with friends the last few days - just wish I could see them more often. Kids are very happy and having good summer.

Just hang on there everyone - these things will pass.

One friend told me her H story which I hadnt known. He was in effect a dumpling - treated very badly by his exW. Had several years alone and then met my lovely friend - now very very happy life. So a lovely story to hear.

Will catch up more beginning September. Kick ass till then xx

waves to mumfun x
hope ur cool tef my situation has all gone tits up today,why do other folk think they have to discuss my marriage ?neither i or x involved in the discussion btw but mega stressful fallout.

hi patience, know what you mean, are these people trying help or are they deliberately trying to stir up trouble???

I am doing as well as can be expected my mood is constantly swinging and i feel physically very similar to how i did at the very beginning. v v tired, sick but hungry at the same time and an awful knotted stomach.

i have a firmer resolve now though and i do ironically feel a lot stronger mentally.

i feel grateful that i now know the sort of person he is and that the veil has now fallen from his façade of being "just a good guy who fell out of love with his wife and was trying to do the best by all his family"

he can't dress this up now can he? the truth will be out there for everyone to see. he won't be able to manipulate how anyone feels about him as they will make up their own decisions based on the cold hard facts.

when i was watching his face i knew that he was letting his romantic sentiment get the better of him - love conquers all crap kind of stuff. "no one understands me, i like this girl and all i want to do is follow my heart and everyone will hate me - i am so misunderstood."
he of course did not say this... but i do know him well and i know that this is what he is thinking.

ooooooooooh i CAN'T WAIT for reality to bite him. i will watch that with a wry smile i can tell you

well i am having a takeaway and wine tonight to cheer me up.
but i do thank god that i do now know the reason for all this, i have a peace of mind about it all now. (i know if sounds odd but it is true)

namechanged

hi to mumfunxxx

Not trying to stir things up Charm ,more threw fuel on the fire,but actually been a bucket of cold water in the face for me re the consequences of the situation.
Glad you are treating urself tonite big hugs .

Hi Mumfun, glad your having a nice time with DC and good friends.

Thinking of you both Patience and Armbow,

you really find out who your friends are at times like these.

Armbow....has Teflon gone for good ?

I loved the way Patience called you Tef, such a nice little nickname,

Mumfun, great that you are resting & enjoying your holls. That is a lovely story about your friend's h, I love hearing those stories .

Teflon, hope you are enjoying your takeaway & wine

Patience, hope you're feeling a bit better tonight. This too shall pass.......

Well a bank cheque was delivered tonight for past two mts maintenance . Was so excited put dc's in car by the way to treat them to an icecream but real reason was to do overnight lodgement . Another good thing from today is that I am now the proud owner of a clothes line . My father came & fitted one for me today. Will have to wean myself off using dryer now .

Happy, hope you're still busy hugging trees & having loads of serenity

Waves to Pink, Party, Chairmum, LC, Tea, Kitty, Getting, Soverign & anyone else I haven't mentioned.

i always want to call patience pat

can i patience ??? can i ?????

just call me armbow..... sure i will go back to that once the drama has subsided

not doing too badly tonight, feeling a tad fat though from the takeaway

can't wait to move house now though, just a few more weeks to go. yay!!! that will be my new start for sure.

hope everyone is doing ok .....

good morning everybody!!!!!
woke up feeling quite positive today - it is a lovely crisp day here everything feels very clean !

hope you are ok patience

Hi Everyone

AB and Patience sorry to hear your awful news its just so overwhelming isnt it ? Who knows whether its better to get all the information from the start like I did or whether having time to get used to being split up before then having ow factor to deal with is easier.

I wish I could say something useful and full of insight to help you both and I almost feel like anything I say will depress you more.Only time will tell if these women are 5 minute wonders or not but I think you just need to detach from it and try and feel its irrelevant what does or doesnt happen . As with so much its easier said than done.

I am not doing so well at the moment , it all seems to be sinking in and my over active imagination / memory is constantly whirring away and I seem to have stupidly gone back to asking myself why he stopped loving me how he could have left me and dc and lots of other out of date questions that have been covered over and over again.

Reading through the thread made me sooo sad this morning , yes Pink its a shame meet up is a way off we could all use a shoulder at the moment. Pink your money comments sent shudders down me as next week is when we are going through maintenance etc . I have wanted us to agree terms between us to save money and hostility but I am starting to think maybe I should just hand it over to a solicitor. Dont know what to do for the best suppose be clearer when I have spoken to exh and have a final offer.

Mumfun glad you sound lovely and chilled

Starting phew re maintenance

AB and Patience just hang in there its whole new ride at the funfair now but you can be strong and dignified and keep forging forwards. Sending you both lots of hugs

Many thanks Getting, yes indeed a whole new rollercoaster of emotions this brings,went to tai chi today and spoke with teacher she said i was a strong woman and i will get thru this ,came out and thought of pursuing the unreasonable behaviour option re divorce will be quicker and get things sorted ,just have to involve others and would rather not ,but seriously considering it.Hugs to AB Sov and others.Time will pass and over active brain will calm ,tai chi teacher said you look after yourself and your kids and you will get thru this and i reckon i will,taking ds to 1st swimming lesson today ,will take a look at the gym while im there bound to be a few rugby players to check out.
ps you need to come to Scotland for next meet up or i might get together enough to do the 25th would def be a laff ,no "DOOM"or im not coming

Dumplings just reading the recent posts really highlights the heartache & pain we have all gone & go through. All of us on this thread have been really challanged.

Armbow, glad you are feeling positive today

Patience, hope you are also feeling more positive.

Getting, I do think it comes in waves & that certain things happen to set us slightly back such as further revelations or separation agreements, divorce agreements etc. Give yourself time & you will prob bounce back from this too. Also remember when you hit a slump it can seem like you haven't moved forward at all but the reality is that you have indeed moved forward & are just letting go another bit of pain.

I am thinking we need a plan on the thread to keep us all (especially those struggling) as positive as possible. Armbow, I used to love your one emotional positive thing & one practical positive thing daily. I think maybe we need to start getting proactive & setting goals for ourselves etc. Sept is a great time to start new courses etc & some of us will have a bit more freedom with dc's back at school.

A small thing I do that I find helps keep me focused is that I make lists . I make lists of everything I need to get done on yellow post-its & then hang it on cupboard door & cross them off one by one. I have also made a list of more long term goals when I got back from holls (I keep this one private for myself). The private ones are more to keep me looking after myself i.e. one was to sort my college place (which I've done ) and another is to stop smoking (not done yet but on agenda ).

Patience, x post. So glad you're feeling more positive today. I would say maybe your best bet with divorce is to take the least stressful option. Hope ds has a great time swimming . Would be so so great if you could make meet up

Learnt 1st sequence of footwork at tai chi ,has taken her x3 weeks to teach me then she brought in hands LOL!
I just think when i meet someone else it will be so relaxing ,my list for sol includes dv,emotional abuse,drug abuse,alcoholism,infidelity ,porn and i know more will appear before this is over.
Going to counsellor on Monday will ask to be referred to abuse counselling if necessary ,i really trust my counsellor,just need help to stop loving STBXH although i know he is getting off on my emotional reactions to his revelations ,today i DETATCH ,its over ,i am moving on ,i lost a husband but i won my life back ,me and dcs have escaped a life sentence and i am free to love again xxxxx

waves to starting ,just want divorced so prob will go for quick route if x agrees maintenance tbh .....meeting with been there done that rl pal soon will be interesting to hear her story ,divorce would be a lovely xmas present for my mental health.After yesterday childcare might be a real struggle re trip but meet up would be fun x

Yes i agree re achievements Startin' really helps boost my self confidence on low days.This past few days i have had too much time to think but no energy ,motivation to do things i could be doing that i enjoy but tai chi is my new focus,will be lovely when i can do 5 min sequence a real achievement and i will meet you in Hyde Park and practice,true serenity ,i just feel i am in the right place .Need to feel the chi in my dantiem and the light within

Patience, that sounds really positive . Glad you will have the support of counselling to help you move forward. You can't switch off love so it takes time for the heart to catch up with the head. It takes us longer as we don't have the escapes most of our x's use to allow them to detach such as ow's, drink, drugs etc.........

Tai chi sounds so positive . The college I'm transferring to is one of the larger ones in my area & I was reading up on all the clubs & societies last night. I was specially focused on the martial arts & tai chi etc . Not sure if I'd swing the extra time away from dc's but it's on my list to check out at end of Sept

Highly recommend it Startin' i see it as a long journey goal like playing an instrument.Very gentle excercise but full body workout apparantely.