ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 6

[gettingeasier]

Cant survive 5 minutes without this thread

Teflon - I already had suspicions the affair wasn't over, so slightly different situation and I put pressure on him, to make him tell me the truth, as things weren't adding up and I was trying so hard to win him back. So I felt disappointed, sad but also angry for being played for a fool iyswim? Your situation is different and infact probably worse as you weren't prepared for it.

Anything you can kick to help release the anger nearby?

Patience - sorry to hear that, glad you have maintained your serenity.

Well apparantley she just texted him and they just text and chat ,they just have a laff really !!!!!He stood there and told me that FFS!I need to get fucking angry because i still love him , i know this will go on and become a relationship and this is his plan to make it decent at the start but it is rotten to the core, but i need to let go now ,going to restart divorce proceedings asap.Really need a night out x

Re serenity not at all Tea ,surprised you didnt hear me down south.Sleazy bastard ,will never let him near me again ,just a big dose of Chlamydia waiting to happen

Any top tips on healing the pain please .....

Yes discovering it had never ended and he was in a relationship was what finally gave me the strength to let go and start divorce proceedings and also put up boundaries, as I had always tried to behave like we were still a happy family and let him come by all the time and anytime.

The emotions that rushed through me though at the time were hard. Wish I'd found those woods back then for walks but I did have closure though and had to accept it was over. Bloody hard though.

You are fabulous and far too good for them. You're amazing!

21:08 you said you were in a calm spell Patience and as ever I was mightily impressed at your amazing serenity. Misunderstood

In fact I thought I heard something earlier

Oh Armbow and Patience.......I'm so so sorry. It's so shit isn't it, like being betrayed all over again. I wish the meetup was tomorow so we could be together in your hours of need.

When it happened to me I was so shocked too. Thought it was beyond the realms of posibility for him to be with someone else when he should be with me.

Everyone told me that a man doesn't leave his wife unless he has someone else and I didn't believe them. It wasn't possible or feasable.

But they were right.

Men are needy, needy, needy and can't manage on thier own. It's pathetic.

Patience and Armbow, your twunts aren't happy, don't think that for a second. They are floundering in their own inadiquasies with little boy smirks on thier loser faces which will soon be wiped off as they realize the realities of what they've done and left behind.

Their brains really are in thier skuddy stinky underpants. They are true losers.

Don't let them bring you down, they are someone elses problem now. Poor cows.

It's a hard kick in the stomach I know.

I'm really feeling for you both.

Lots and lots of love,

This too will pass and in a few days you'll feel better and stronger and able to fight the fight. xxx

Yes calm spell now ,not previously when dcs at chidcare I just told him what i thought of him and his crowd ,all sad and divorced with serious addictions ,meanwhile ds puked all over the kitchen tonight ,nothing like some real life to get you back to normality ,i really need a night out,think i will change that to IRNANO think i will be posting that a lot

Thanks Pink much appreciated,think this is why he said about friend telling him to find a new one apparantley he said he had but they were just chatting.She must be really desperate by the way LOL!He WAS good looking rough as fuck now

Happy, can you link to Neil Young, Don't let them bring you down ?

Good fucking luck to her, I know you love him but you've got to believe that you're well out of it. Sorry about DS being sick.

Sort out some finances tomorow eg own bank account, take what's yours from joint account etc. Make appt with solicitor. Make some extra lovely candles just for you and start concentrating hard on making your business a success.

You've got lots to do. Prioritise well and don't speak to H again unless it's vital. He sounds like such a fucking prick (if you don't mind me saying).

Keep your cool with him, no more shouting or screaming at him, just a cold shoulder.

He's ended the marriage so now it's business and you need to be hard and fast and clever and astute and a bit ruthless in order to get the best deal possible for you and the DC.

No more MR nice guy.

I', just noticing that almost everything I write is a song title ffs !

Patience and Armbow you need to be strong, dignified and focused,

Jolly Green Giant/Incredible Hulk.........that kind of strength but on the inside.

Gather up bank statements, bills, proof of twunts income, etc etc and put it all in a 'safe' place. They all try and doctor the figures to make it look like they earn less than they do.You need to be secretly 2 or 3 steps ahead.

HedonismJust laughed at him down the phone said she was welcome to the dregs ,told him he was a total dissapointment and him and his friend were like Beavis and Butthead .

Good post Pink

Pink done all that months ago LOL!{no disrespect meant }
dont worry all under control ,not much to split here anyway ,i truly did marry for love and we led a simple life.Hope he works to pay for dcs ,but might not bother nothing would surprise me ,Thanks for your support xxx

Get your point re dignified PINK but ive been scraping puke off the floor with a bucket and spade ,kinda pisses me off that he out having a laugh.

good practical advice pink thanks for that - off to do that right now.

Sorry, I know I sound hard, it's just that when my h left, I thought he'd have the decency and humility after all the pain he'd caused to piss off and live quietly under a rock. But no, he fought me for everything. That's what they do. In the end it all comes down to money. You might think now, bugger it, I can't be arsed, it's not important, it's not about the money, that's just greedy.

The awfull truth is that IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY NOW, and if you don't fight the bastards for every penny that you and your DC need to live on and deserve then you'll always regret it, because believe me your husbands will try and diddle you out of everything they can and their lawyers will help them. It's shocking actually. Your twunts are as deceitful as all of our twunts. Be on your guard regarding finances because they only have their own interests at heart. They've allready proved that haven't they.

I'm going to bed to calm down, it's all so shit and unjust and I'm feeling bloody furious.
I'm having violent thoughts about yours Patience involving lights being punched out, I think he's the pits and doesn't deserve anymore of your precious tears.

Armbow, this is for you too. Go to bed and put the telly or radio on for distraction from the pain and desolation.

It's always worse at night. Things will seem better in the morning.

No more tears, you both need to get busy.

It will eventually all be fine I promise xxx

already split finances too - but proof of income is a good thought - not thought of that one - got that now though

All present and correct Pink ,also first thing i thought as soon as ow involved was speed it all up so ink is dry ,could still be divorced by xmas fingers crossed lot more messy but i was only saving his reputation b4 by going for 12mth seperation now he has blown that apart on his own , will see what she says next week.

Love that song. Never read the lyrics before though. Would LOVE to send them to my exh.

Inside, they'll be feeling embarrased and ashamed. You'll have the last laugh.

Most important thing is to KEEP YOUR SENCE OF HUMOUR....it gets you through the crap (and the vomit) Patience I'd have been sorely tempted to smear a teeny weeny bit on some of his clothes, just enough for a bit of a pong. Imagine 'her' face when all his clothes have a faint wiff of kids spu

I'm getting carried away now, must take deep breaths and remember to be diginified. Bloody hard though sometimes. Night. x

Have warned him the last of his stuff is getting dumped he has never done anything about it ,he said to me he has no clothes so i said "Its easy you just go to a shop and buy some "LOL will give books and suit to charity thats it.Moving soon anyway what did he expect FFS!

dd thing today was making paths ,lots of rolled out wallpaper leading from room to room LOL!

Thanks again Pink x

thanks pink

Ah God I'm so sorry to hear the amount of pain on the thread atm. I had similiar in that first I had the horrific pain of separation & then subsequent revelations was like someone literally ripped my heart out. All I can say is the pain does gradually get easier. I think at the beginning though you go into a kind of shock & denial. It's like you keep thinking you'll wake up & it'll have been a bad dream but that never happens. What does happen however is that gradually you get stronger & the pain lessens. Do whatever makes life easy for you for now & rant on here if it helps. So v sorry for both of you.

Pink, I agree, it's v sad but it does usually come down to money & again sadly these men with no morals or decency do try to screw you over again for money.

Getting, I did think first bounced cheque was a genuine error. Obviously now that was not the case . It's a nightmare tbh, I initiated separation proceedings last June & 15mts later only thing I have to show is mounting legal bills

Sorry to hear that re maintenance Startin' Think its all real life re pain ,no shortcuts once they start this bullshit it just seems to cut deeper and deeper .