Will Lynda agree that the Grundys are fungis? And is Peggy finally realising that Helen is faaahmly? Await the Ambridge Fairy on The Archers thread.

[PseudoBadger]

"Get outta my village" screams Peggy Mitchell

Maybe something about Paterwauling?

Or there's that brilliant one suggested upthread - More cows, less Pat.

Also that Pip Matthew scene was AGONISING. "I love you" - is that a fact? She sounds exactly the same saying that as she does saying "Don't the cows look good" or "Hello Rex". Perky. Feck off.

Careful what you wish for there Augusta. More cows would surely mean more Pip. Out of the frying pan and all that...... 🐄🐄

SmallLegs came up with the phrase More cows, less Pat last Wednesday, I then said it would be a good thread title
slinks off to get a life

More cows, less Pat is pretty damn brilliant!

Well if we end up with an endless summer of Pip/Matthew/David and Ruth we'll know who to blame then Redshoe

Maybe we'll be grateful for the respite of the trial in September?

I don't want more cows.

I don't want more Pip certainly, but Brian, Adam, Ed can all converse sweetly about cows.

And I do love a pun.

OK, how about Kirsty knowing that H had to hide in the garden to phone her once?

We have already used CowPat of Destiny - are we happy to use a similar one again?

More pigs, less will they, won't they rethink the story arc ...

(Not a real suggestion, just procrastination.)

More cows, less Bull

I like it Pseudo

Although tbf we haven't had much of The Bull lately (presumably magically saved from financial ruin and poor foundations.

Kirsty probably think Hellin has told them about Jess. Surely most people would assume that the accused would be trying to come up with a defence.

And on r4, thing about A2 milk. Featured a bit of robotic milking. I think Adam and Brine should have a long chat about it.

...how about Kirsty knowing that H had to hide in the garden to phone her once?

Kirsty doesn't know that at all. Kirsty asked "Are you hiding in the garden so you can phone me?" and Hell denied, Hell said she just wanted fresh air. Kirsty can only provide an opinion. Not fact.

But Helen knows she was hiding. Helen knows she was raped, and humiliated, and controlled, threatened and lied to. Helen can provide the facts. Probably only Helen.

Helen can make these clas and it will be suspected she is doing so to get off eith having stabbed her dh. But if she would at least make the claims then defence and prosecution could go and see if there is any evidence from others to back up.those claims.

I liked "do elves shit in the wood?" and think you should add it onto the end of your preferred thread title in a "do bears shit in the woods?" way of stating the obvious.

What happened to the phone that Kirsty gave Hellin? Surely the police can find out who's called who on it. Or not. This is The Archers after all. They can certainly confirm the numbers on the phone. Unless Rob has taken it.

I think the police have it.didn't they ask Helen why Kirsty gave it to her?

God I'm so bored with it all. If it's on when I'm in the kitchen I might have a listen but it's just tortuous.

I caught some of the film on Sunday and it felt a bit less painful because it was broken up but why oh why is nobody actually doing any investigating?

And if one more person says "Hellin could never hurt anyone" when she stabbed her husband just the other day I will scream. Actual, proper get the neighbours' nets twitching scream.

Paterwauling, TitchyKnob, In-Hell, TediousTone and Arseula can all go and #### themselves in the woods, along with Bruteheart the missing. Sick of them all, and Soc can happily impale himself on a hundred yards of rusty barbed wire fencing!

"Flowers are ok, Ian checked, he wanted to send some."

I would really appreciate Helen's reaction to the arrival of those flowers. And to hear any message on the card.

"sorry Jill can't be here" but today's budget wouldn't stretch to including her in the cast.

I like that the elf houses are unsettling the pheasants.
Elf convenience inconveniences pheasants.

It's elf and safety gone mad. What are the pheasants objecting to?