We're on a road through Ambridge, come on inside. Archers chat here

[PseudoBadger]

Have you had your free venison burger?

My mind wandered over to choosing a name for Elizabeth's baby (don't panic if you haven't RTFT ] and immediately settled on

Grace

And then I wondered about a surname since Tucker wouldn't quite do, and Elizabeth wouldn't want to take the Pargetter name in vain. So she'd probably go with her maiden name

Archer.

(Don't I always say the story in my head is the most fun ever?)

If Elizabeth had Roy's secret love child, just who is going to look after it? Surely not Hayley?

But maybe there could be a mystery love child. Roy gets totally bladdered/stoned. Sounds of some fumblings. He's not sure if he DTD. Elizabeth doesn't say anything. Lots of speculation for 9 months. Then they baby is obviously not Roy's (maybe obviously has Asian heritage - Ifty?). That would be far more interesting.

I was thinking a more straightforward secret. Elizabeth brushing off questions with "someone I met at the festival" and Roy hovering incognito on the edge of his (probably slightly grand) daughter's life for ever after.

It would be fascinating to see how Elizabeth carved out an inheritance for her since she obviously wouldn't be included in Nigel's will. And I like the thought of com

it would be like a reverse of tess of the d'urbevilles

.....I like the thought of complicating Roy's life still further, what with constantly holding Kate at arms length regarding Phoebe etc, etc.

Actually Willie I was thinking of Henry James yesterday in relation to Helen and Rob. He's my top candidate for having a secret child who's going to be supported from (oh my!) Archer money...

This is just too good.

Come on folks Lizzie is sensible she'd take the morning after pill surely? If she got so bladdered (which I doubt she would somehow).

Another option? Lizard discovers she like the festival/camp life, runs off with a crowd she meets, Freddie and Lily have to move into Brookfield which will then be VERY overcrowded, and cause enormous stress all round, there is a baby (Lizzie gives birth an tepee with a midwife called Morwenna???), but nobody knows who the father might be. Roy and Lewis take over the running of The Pile while Lizzie is awol.

Of course none of this might happen. Roy and Liz go to festival, it rains, substances are consumed, nobody's too sure where they've put anything in the dark, Lizzie realises why she never went camping before, they go home, realise they've left it too late to book Bolloxfest for 2014 but they postpone it till 2015 (by which time Lizzie has new baby/another set of twins, and is too exhausted to care).

Nobody is sure where they put things in the dark. leading to an unexpected pregnancy.

Just realised that is exactly what you meant....I thought you were describing the typical camping chaos which never includes sex in my experience.

(Sorry, garbled post above, I meant I'd been thinking of other possible influences in addition to Thomas Hardy and arrived at Henry James...)

ppeat In a fight between the morning after pill and a dodgy non-Tom Archer sausage who d'you think would win??

We've already had an unplanned pregnancy story with Elizabeth, though, umpteen years ago when she was dumped by Cameron Fraser and in the end had a termination. Surely we won't get it again?

I hope there's an unexpected outbreak of common sense and Bolloxfest (love it!) gets postponed and ideally then forgotten about. I'm not optimistic about that, though.

It was me I think who brought over Bolloxfest from another Archers forum, it was coined there by some very witty person. I love it.

I think Zero has it about right regarding an outcome.

Can you imagine being in the tent pitched next to Randy Roy's Pavilion of Festival Lurve? And being woken in the night by .... no, I can't go on, it's too ghastly.

You do all realise that Bolloxfest will be an unmitigated success don't you?

i'm under no illusion boopy

(sorry, hope "boopy" is not over-familiar)

I do hope Randy Roy has packed his glow in the dark condoms and a head torch. Actually no, I hope he hasn't. I can't bear the thought of Lizzie's first seeing-to in to a long time being with dull Old Roy. I imagine him with a timer and tick list for all the areas of Lizzie he has to cover and a set time for each area . More bleurgh than the festival bogs.

But how BitOut? Apart from the as yet unformed Half-Past-Ten-Time-For-Bed Walkers who on earth will they get to perform?

Mimsy I thought it might be rather sweet for Elizabeth to have this mature adventure. She was young and heedless before - I think she might now manage rather well. And with Lily and Freddie growing up.... (Oh, I did sympathise with Peggy btw, but they do seem to have abandoned the stiff upper lip.)

Yeah - thanks for that image Bluestocking

I have a feeling Bolloxfest will end up being saved at the last minute by a combination of Alice's Amazing Balloon Arche(r)s and Fallon rustling up some sticky buns and serving them on bits of wood and chipped 1960s school dinner plates covered with reclaimed doilies....they don't just need an agricultural editor they need a plausibility editor methinks.

Gypsy you have more imagination than is good for you!

Willie I answer to anything!

STRUMPET!!!

I can't speak. Too traumatised.

Oh, fucking hell!!!! Can't believe I just heard that