Landlord wants grandmother to stay in our house at Christmas

[Lala1962]

My DP and I live in a rented cottage on a property that DP is the gardener of. It’s quite remote and the main house is just down the hill from us. We have a good relationship with the landlords daughter and SIL, who live in the main house, but are not ‘friends’ as such. Just get on and have a chat when we see them. Our landlord lives abroad so they are our main points of contact for anything cottage related.

The daughter has asked DP if their grandmother can stay in our cottage over Christmas when we’re away. I am uncomfortable with this - we don’t know this person and all of our belongings would still be here. Whilst we get on with the owners/landlords, that is the extent of our relationship. I don’t think I’d mind as much if we had a spare bedroom and could close off our bedroom/living area but it’s a tiny one-bed so they would be staying in our bed in our bedroom. Personally I would never ask a tenant if I could use their home for my guest but perhaps DP working on the property blurs the lines a bit.

Is it reasonable for us to refuse the request? And how can we refuse the request without seeming rude?

You need to establish boundaries and give a polite but firm no. It is completely inappropriate. She would be mulling around your things, using your things, sleeping in your bed etc. I bet other family members would also be going in there while you’re away too.

It's your home and as long as you pay the rent it is inappropriate for LL to ask this. Tell them they can use a Premier Inn or have her stay with them. Whether you are in your cottage at Xmas yourself makes no difference.

Downtown abbey

and also my own nan

What absolute CF's to ask.
Talk about thinking the help have zero rights.🙄

I think for all the reasons given by PPs, you are completely reasonable to say no to this.

Even if you did agree, what if you were unable to travel or had to return home early for some reason? What would be their contingency plan? (And then they should just do that anyway.)

@Runnerinthenight

im not sure why you're involving yourself in a few posts between me & the other poster.

there was nothing wrong with my original question. There was also nothing rude or aggressive about my opinion of the situation.

she was rude to me & threatened not to reply to my post. I merely told her, I didn't care.

my opinion was not rude or aggressive.

no need to reply.

Why the hell are you censuring me for replying to your post?? Don't you realise that this is an open forum where anyone may reply to anyone else???

Catch an actual fucking grip on yourself!!

@KievLoverTwo

I have been on here practically since it started. I'm no troll.

II don't think lending your bed to someone is a big deal, she does. Neither of us needs to defend our opinion!🙇🏻‍♀️

she accused me of being obtuse or provocative & said she wouldn't reply.

I said I don't GAF, in fact I'd rather she didn't.🤷🏻‍♀️

back in your box.

@Runnerinthenight

well if you're going to comment on posts, at least read the string of posts.

its not me that needs to catch a grip!!

& there you are again minding other peoples business

I did and it's you!!! You really have an inflated idea of your own importance, don't you!!!

And there you are again, thinking you are important when you really aren't!

@KievLoverTwo

what are you on about?

I've never sent you a screen shot of anything???

I'd be tempted to ignore it, it's such a bizarre thing to do!

A friend of mine used to say that the internet went to pot when it became available to the masses.

Threads like this make me feel like she had an excellent point!

I don’t care for or about your opinions. Whether they are right or wrong is of little consequence to me.

I don’t give a shit how long you have been here. If you have dinosaur DNA, or are actually Tim Berners Lee, who I am sure is dumbfounded by the amount of vitriol the internet has produced.

What I do give a shit about is people who say “no need to reply.”

The thing about MY box is it’s always open to suggestion, being wrong, taking on other people’s opinions - learning, and evolving.

The thing about your box is that is has no key and was made in the 1970s, is several foot under water and is hanging on by a rusty chain that was probably paid for by the Daily Mail.

Shrug.

Different strokes for different folks.

My son and daughter-in-law rent a house with a basement "apartment." I use the term loosely as it's rather disjointed, a bedroom, perhaps with a small living area (neither we nor they have seen it as it's kept locked), a small kitchenette, and a bathroom, but none of the rooms are accessible from the others.

The landlords asked if their parents could stay down there when in town, there is a separate outside entrance to the basement so they wouldn't have to go through the house, which is something, I suppose. They didn't feel they could say no and hoped by saying it was okay might then feel like they could ask if we or dil's parents could use the rooms on occasion. As far as I know, they haven't actually used it, but the holidays are soon upon us.

The latest request was to ask if a missionary friend of theirs could give birth in the basement room. They have 4 little boys and the basement bedroom is below their bedrooms. Thankfully other arrangements have been made for that one.

It seems to be one of the disadvantages of knowing your landlords in some capacity, the lines blur and requests are made that would never be made of strangers.

I don’t think that’s true. I had mostly jolly times on the internet until Covid. Met many long term friends IRL. Since the pressure of lockdown and the financial pressures that have come from it, I think a lot of people are just way past their tolerance threshold with internet bullshit - and I include myself in that equation. Or maybe they just don’t want to lash out at their nearest and dearest. It feels like widespread deflection imo.

Life is just far more grim after Covid.

But there were absolutely halcyon days - and they lasted for about a decade.

So I cannot entirely agree with your friend.

"Downton" not "Downtown"

and also

"It’s because your reasoning is that of a 12 year old, in case sarcasm passes you buy."

"by" not "buy"

Or you could agree and then request in exchange that your teenage nephew and his girlfriend ( and their friends) use several of the rooms in the manor over new years ? That would seem fair.

Good grief that's ridiculous, of course not!

I can still get my point across on this forum, despite only having 3-4 hours sleep per night, and being absolutely run ragged with stress from 2 years and 3 months of trying to get away from a terrible rental property (house sale fall through count: 3).

Anything else you'd like to judge me on, you awfully judgemental cow?

Perhaps you'd like to move to the farm I live on, and be woken up every 2 to 3 hours, all throughout the night, for at least 9 months of the year.

No? Thought not. Off to Cnts corner with you then.