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Landlord wants grandmother to stay in our house at Christmas

198 replies

Lala1962 · 10/10/2024 21:06

My DP and I live in a rented cottage on a property that DP is the gardener of. It’s quite remote and the main house is just down the hill from us. We have a good relationship with the landlords daughter and SIL, who live in the main house, but are not ‘friends’ as such. Just get on and have a chat when we see them. Our landlord lives abroad so they are our main points of contact for anything cottage related.

The daughter has asked DP if their grandmother can stay in our cottage over Christmas when we’re away. I am uncomfortable with this - we don’t know this person and all of our belongings would still be here. Whilst we get on with the owners/landlords, that is the extent of our relationship. I don’t think I’d mind as much if we had a spare bedroom and could close off our bedroom/living area but it’s a tiny one-bed so they would be staying in our bed in our bedroom. Personally I would never ask a tenant if I could use their home for my guest but perhaps DP working on the property blurs the lines a bit.

Is it reasonable for us to refuse the request? And how can we refuse the request without seeming rude?

OP posts:
Changingplace · 10/10/2024 21:07

No that’s absolutely not ok, say no.

DoreenonTill8 · 10/10/2024 21:08

What the actual? Hell hard no!! I'm sure the main house is big enough!! Are they offering money off rent and to pay for utilities usage?!

PlantDoctor · 10/10/2024 21:08

I'd politely turn them down. Just say you don't feel comfortable.

TeamPlaying · 10/10/2024 21:08

Absolutely not!

Just say sorry, you’re not comfortable hosting someone you don’t know.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 10/10/2024 21:14

I'd say we've really thought about it, but we aren't entirely comfortable with it as we don't want anybody else in our home whilst not there, particularly as we've nowhere to store our personal possessions or a second bedroom. So I'm afraid its going to have to be a no.

Twiglets1 · 10/10/2024 21:20

I’ve heard everything now.

That would be a hard No from me.

Iloveacurry · 10/10/2024 21:23

Why can’t the grandmother stay in the main house? Would be a hard no from me.

SabreIsMyFave · 10/10/2024 21:24

LOL! What fresh hell is this?! 😂

SheilaFentiman · 10/10/2024 21:24

No, no and thrice no

lightsandtunnels · 10/10/2024 21:24

Yep I agree with pps.

"I'm sorry but we really wouldn't feel comfortable having someone in our home." Also if you agree once, will they ask again next time Auntie Dot is visiting and expect the same?
It is your home OP even if it is their house. I'm assuming you have a tenancy agreement and everything formalised?

SheilaFentiman · 10/10/2024 21:24

In your bed!!

It’s a hell no anyway, but in your bed!!

CameronStrike · 10/10/2024 21:25

Absolutely the fuck not!!

CandyLeBonBon · 10/10/2024 21:26

How about, NOOO!!!?

StillAtTheRestaurant · 10/10/2024 21:26

I would also say definitely not to this. But I'd be worried that if they have a key they'll just let her in anyway and then try and cover the traces!

theeyeofdoe · 10/10/2024 21:26

say no, there’s no enough room.

Namechangedasouting987 · 10/10/2024 21:28

You don't need a reason! Just say no! It's an outrageous ask..

SheilaFentiman · 10/10/2024 21:28

StillAtTheRestaurant · 10/10/2024 21:26

I would also say definitely not to this. But I'd be worried that if they have a key they'll just let her in anyway and then try and cover the traces!

Yeah - they don’t seem to have grasped that it’s not currently their house to offer up!

Maybe pretend that you’ve got a friend coming to stay whilst you are away??

Theunamedcat · 10/10/2024 21:29

I would ask questions like where would she sleep would she have her own bedding things like that to really drive it home to them that it's your home

Namechangedasouting987 · 10/10/2024 21:30

It's all kinds of illegal for them to enter whilst you are away and use the house for the grandmother.

Ivehearditbothways · 10/10/2024 21:30

Problem is, they’ll have keys for emergencies as the landlords. Now that they’ve asked… how can you stop them even if you say no? I wouldn’t trust it.

Lemonadeand · 10/10/2024 21:31

Are they offering you a complete refund for your rent, council tax and bills for that time? Plus offering to pay a cleaning fee?

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 10/10/2024 21:33
No Way Comedy GIF by CBS

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Lala1962 · 10/10/2024 21:34

Thanks all - I thought I was perhaps being a bit sensitive but glad to know the consensus is in agreement with me!

We have a legal written rental agreement.

For those concerned about them coming into the property anyway, we have an internal camera on both doors linked to our phones that they know about so I doubt they’d do it if we’d said no.

OP posts:
AngryLikeHades · 10/10/2024 21:35

Tell them to shove their country house estate up their arse haha

Lala1962 · 10/10/2024 21:37

Lemonadeand · 10/10/2024 21:31

Are they offering you a complete refund for your rent, council tax and bills for that time? Plus offering to pay a cleaning fee?

Not discussed so not sure really. I still wouldn’t feel comfortable even if we were reimbursed though.

OP posts: