Landlord wants grandmother to stay in our house at Christmas

[Lala1962]

My DP and I live in a rented cottage on a property that DP is the gardener of. It’s quite remote and the main house is just down the hill from us. We have a good relationship with the landlords daughter and SIL, who live in the main house, but are not ‘friends’ as such. Just get on and have a chat when we see them. Our landlord lives abroad so they are our main points of contact for anything cottage related.

The daughter has asked DP if their grandmother can stay in our cottage over Christmas when we’re away. I am uncomfortable with this - we don’t know this person and all of our belongings would still be here. Whilst we get on with the owners/landlords, that is the extent of our relationship. I don’t think I’d mind as much if we had a spare bedroom and could close off our bedroom/living area but it’s a tiny one-bed so they would be staying in our bed in our bedroom. Personally I would never ask a tenant if I could use their home for my guest but perhaps DP working on the property blurs the lines a bit.

Is it reasonable for us to refuse the request? And how can we refuse the request without seeming rude?

We home exchange so have got over randoms staying in our house. That said it’s a big effort leaving the house guest ready it’s a big ask. The house insurance point is absolute nonsense so don’t use that as an argument just a simple no.,

Am I the only one on the post that wouldn't mind this? 🫣🫣😂😂
We do have a very good relationship with our landlord though, my partner is a very good friend of theirs.
We know none of the family would go through anything of ours. But if they did it would probably embarrass them more than it would us 😉🤣🤣

Re house insurance insurers actually prefer someone staying there less risk than an empty house. I rang ours when we exchange they said it’s fine did add a caveat that we not covered if the person staying themselves robs us.

Hell no! What a strange and inappropriate request from them! 😳

I was a lodger in my early 20s. The landlady asked if her friend could sleep in my bed while I was away for one night. I said no. Came home and the friend (an older guy) had slept in my bed... I knew because my pjs had been moved from under my pillow and bed was made differently. I was absolutely furious! Still can't believe she thought that was OK!!

Imagine she’s in incontinent and that’s the reason why they don’t want her at theirs

I would just say that you’ve considered it and the answer is no, sorry. With the baby now it is very cozy with a cot in the bedroom and all the extra “stuff” that comes with kids (high chair, bouncer, baby bath etc) it would be a mission to try and clear up the house so that it could be used for a guest and you would need it up to the point of departure and immediately on return. I wouldn’t make the point about her being elderly, they’ll just offer up someone able bodied.

Now you are just making shit up. Literally.

People still posting advice: the OP said on 11/10 at 21.13 what she was going to do.

Do you pay rent or is this a loose arrangement for gardening services? You say you pay rent so this is YOUR home. Why would they ask for their grandmother who you do not know from Adam to live in your house? For all you know she may be some crazed 90 year old on booze, ciggies and fast motorbikes! I would be honest and say that it is not part of the rental agreement and that she should stay in the main house or at a local hotel. What would happen and who would be responsible if say she flooded the bathroom or broke your washing machine or spilt red wine over the carpet? They sound like self entitled poshos to me.

This is all kinds of wrong. You have a written tenancy agreement - having the property back for family to stay in would not be detailed on this. I’m a landlord & this request is absolutely wrong! We’ve a few rental places - one rented to friends. They’ve said I can park in property driveway if I can’t get parked at work (which is nearby & an absolute nightmare for parking) as they don’t own a car. I’m not even that comfortable doing that!

I feel sad for the grandmother who they want to put in the overspill accommodation as if she is bottom of the priority heap. She should be allowed first dibs on a bed in the main house. Someone else can sofa surf if necessary.

And OP is entitled to not offer up her cottage.

If you have a rental agreement then they have no right of access at all unless its an emergency, of course they could fire your DH but its unlikley and it doesn't sound as if the cottage is "tied" to the job anyway.

Any update OP? Have you had the conversation with the daughter yet?

I would follow up with a letter to the actual land owner, explaining you won't be leaving the cottage to be used for family overspill guests. He might not even be aware of the daughters CF plans.

I wouldn’t apologise or give them a reason. The damn cheek of this completely inappropriate request from them is shocking!

‘no’ is a complete sentence. There is no need to make anything up.

Did she ever come clean? Did you confront her?

Good relationship vs "But I wouldn’t go as far to say we’re friends"......

Clearly the next time your granny comes to stay they will accommodate her in the 'big house'? That'll be a hard no, for sure.

I would say no and say that I was very uncomfortable to be asked.

Just be sensitive and diplomatic (even though you shouldn't have to!)
Mention the personal belongings and the fact that there is nowhere to store anything. If they are short of space, there are companies that will rock up with a caravan or RV that can be put close to the house for the duration of her stay.

Taps the sign ⬆

Of course not! It's your home and you rent it. The DGM can stay with them.

This is 100% NOT ACCEPTABLE! Why would anyone keg a stranger stay in their home whilst they’re away! No, no, no!!