Tradesman just made me cry

[Fluffyelephant]

I know it’s probably silly to be so upset but I’m really shaken up.

Having a nightmare with our house renovation. People cancelling, not showing up.

Finally had a guy in today (recommended by another tradesman). Long story short I was in the room next to where he was working and could hear him getting angrier and angrier in there: ‘FFS!’ every few minutes and slamming things more and more aggressively.

Eventually heard him say to himself ‘that’s it I’m finished’ and he started moving his tools. I went in, job was about 60% done and he was so angry. Like “I’m finished. Not doing anymore. People effing changing the job. Changing the date. Wasting my time. This b&q stuff you’ve got is shit.” It was so horrible. Then he stormed out. I told my partner what had happened and started crying so my DP ran out to the van outside and I was shouting ‘Don’t! Dont!’ The guy threatens him and then drives away.

Agh. Absolutely horrible. Really shaken up. Just feel like I’m cursed with this renovation. Feel like it was my fault for not making the details of the job clearer.

Not sure what the point of this post is. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced similar. And if so how do you keep it together?!

I always have tradesmen out for small jobs as I'm hopeless at DIY from taskrabbit or similar- hanging shelves, putting up light fittings or building IKEA furniture etc. They always huff and puff and swear and complain at either the quality of the products or the slant of my walls or something else I can't control. I thought it was standard procedure tbh from people who have stressful jobs! I usually just nod politely, apologise profusely, and keep out of their way.

I do think there is a different between an odd job man and a builder though, not clear which you're talking about OP?

I had a similar incident with an internet fixing tradesperson once, he seemed angry from the start of the job and got borderline threatening when I refused to sign a sheet that included saying he'd acted "courteously".

One of his colleagues later revealed that this man was essentially too poorly to be working and had received quite bad news about his health. While this didn't justify the experience, it did at least explain it.

@kimchiketch even if she had (which she hasn't confirmed either way) he still behaved horribly. What was to stop him saying 'look I can't do this for xyz reason so I'm going to leave, sorry for the inconvenience.'

Having been around tradesmen for most of my life, they’ve either taken the job on without having inspected it first and found it to be an absolute cunt of a job that’s going to cost them a hell of a lot more than they’ve quoted you for, or you’re a nightmare customer that’s repeatedly changed the job parameters. Even cowboy tradesmen don’t storm out without asking for payment for the work already completed so I’d be leaning towards the latter.

@kimchiketch well he didn't did he. He swore at her when he said 'people effing changing the date and your b&q stuff is shit'.

Have you even read the op?!

Think your probably right , ive had jobs that you think will take an hour tops ,then it turns into an all day job ……it’s frustrating, but I’ve learnt now not to think about how long something will take. It takes as long as it takes till its done ( properly) .

Finally had a guy in today (recommended by another tradesman)

I'm just guessing but I suspect the other tradesman who put this one forward for the job was the one who this tirade was really about:

I’m finished. Not doing anymore. People effing changing the job. Changing the date. Wasting my time. This b&q stuff you’ve got is shit.

I'm also just guessing that what the tradesman who turned up was told about the job by the one who recommended him was not accurate hence the frustration.

This, pretty much.

Good tradespeople are worth hanging on to. I mollycoddle mine and🤞they usually stick around and do a reasonable job.

@kimchiketch were you there? 😂😂😂

Bizarre that anyone can defend this behaviour. If he didn't want the job he shouldn't have gone. If he couldn't do the job he should have said so in a polite way and left.

Sounds like he was having a bad day. Understandable, we all do. But his behaviour was unprofessional, unpleasant and not what I'd expect from someone there to do a job.

Absolutely this! It took me two years to get someone to tile my kitchen, and he didn't do part of it properly so I mentioned it to him, he said he'd come round to fix them, and I never heard from him again and he ignored me when I tried to contact him!

This was a few years ago and I consider myself lucky to have got it tiled at all because getting anyone in for anything else has proved impossible.

And I am a nice person, mild mannered, with a house that is not a nightmare to work in.

My BIL is a plumber and people are forever 'accidentally' missing off aspects of the job or asking him to use cheap-crap parts that don't fit (to try and save money).

Sounds to me like you're exactly like the above people my BIL is beginning to tire of and that combined with your aggressive sounding DP...I wish you luck in your hunt to find a good tradesmen now. They talk.

Tbh, the fact the tradesmen didn't charge for anything tells me a lot. You and your DP were the problem. Tradesmen always charge - particularly in the current climate (cost of materials and lack of work)!

I certainly would have if I thought the TRADESMAN could potentially be violent towards my DH.

It is truly amazing that posters automatically think the very worst, assume everyone who starts a thread is some horrible human. I have to wonder how many misanthropes are around here.

Same, the OP"s husband chasing him was the right thing, sees partner crying and man running out of his home, what the fuck was he meant to do??

Some tradesmen are absolute cunts OP, sorry for the rough language but its a fact. Doing renovation is like a marriage, you have to work with someone you can have a good relationship with and manage the ups and downs, ( and there's always lots of downs and mis-communication)

I would stop all work and get a new series of quotes, with a project manager that's your one point of call, only use ones who you can inspect their previous work/contact previous clients. Ask every person you trust for a building contact, your partner should be doing the same, even a shopkeeper you pop into a few times a week will probably know a brilliant tradesmen , the best ones don't even advertise these days, its all word of mouth...

You're odd.

You've posted on my thread 25+ times. None of it helpful or kind.

I mean seriously, is there a way to block people on MN?

He was the one who was yelling and acting like an azzhat so violence isn't a big jump.

My DH was a tradesman for decades and never, ever would have yelled, swore and acted like that tradesman did. Uncouth, low-brow actions from someone who should know better.

And you're not answering the basic questions people have asked.

did you change the job?
did you change the date?
was the stuff you bought shit?

Thank you.

My DP is not angry or violent in the slightest. I've never ever heard him raise his voice at anyone.

He went outside and said something along the lines of "you didn't need to be like that. You've upset her." Not shouted.

Sorry you’ve had such a horrible experience with someone so unprofessional. You say you feel it was your fault for not making the details clearer, but it’s actually his responsibility to ascertain the full details of a job before deciding whether to take it on, or starting it. If he felt there was more to it on arrival, the professional way to manage that would be to approach you with respect, and explain what that might mean - more time, more money…or to simply say that the job isn’t quite as described and he won’t be doing it.

Leave a review detailing his behaviour towards you on whatever platforms you can. You might find others have, once you start looking.