Tradesman just made me cry

[Fluffyelephant]

I know it’s probably silly to be so upset but I’m really shaken up.

Having a nightmare with our house renovation. People cancelling, not showing up.

Finally had a guy in today (recommended by another tradesman). Long story short I was in the room next to where he was working and could hear him getting angrier and angrier in there: ‘FFS!’ every few minutes and slamming things more and more aggressively.

Eventually heard him say to himself ‘that’s it I’m finished’ and he started moving his tools. I went in, job was about 60% done and he was so angry. Like “I’m finished. Not doing anymore. People effing changing the job. Changing the date. Wasting my time. This b&q stuff you’ve got is shit.” It was so horrible. Then he stormed out. I told my partner what had happened and started crying so my DP ran out to the van outside and I was shouting ‘Don’t! Dont!’ The guy threatens him and then drives away.

Agh. Absolutely horrible. Really shaken up. Just feel like I’m cursed with this renovation. Feel like it was my fault for not making the details of the job clearer.

Not sure what the point of this post is. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced similar. And if so how do you keep it together?!

Maybe the OP's husband was just going to ask the guy what the issue was and if he'd please come back and finish the job? Bit of a stretch to just assume he was running out to start a fight with the guy ffs!

DH actually is a builder and there is no way he'd put up with his team shouting and swearing at clients. They'd be sacked on the spot.

Another one whose DH would probably have followed the tradesman to ask what on earth was going on. Certainly not to be violent 🙄

So a tradesman comes into your home, shouts, swears, bashes around and then says fuck this I'm off without completing the job he's there to do.

But somehow the op and her dh getting snide remarks? I don't get how anyone here is out of order except the useless tradesman?

It's not a safe space to mess other people around from though.

It sounds like this guy was unprofessional in his behaviour irrespective of the circumstances.

But the question is really whether that behaviour was a result of being messed around or whether it was unprovoked.

There are two sides to every story.

Failing to understand how a tradesman can get so angry at himself?! There must be more to this!

Or perhaps she was worried that the tradesman would be violent towards her DP if he argued with him and so she wanted him to leave it?

@GasPanic it sounds like he just couldn't do the job and got frustrated to me.

I always try and let the trade tell me how long the job will take but on our Next Door App there are plenty of people looking for say a plumber and saying it will only take 5 mins or 30 mins (one even asked what the cost of a plumber was per hour and tried to work out what the job would cost him!).

I ca almost kiss trades when they arrive with me. So many are rather flaky but a good one is worth their weight in gold. They have told me of their nightmare customers, people being out when they turn up, wanting precise timings of arrival or buying the equipment themselves and finding once on the job that its wrong.

Actually I have had exactly that.

I've had a plumber get angrier and angrier with a job, but he did finish it and he did charge me, and it was fine, but it's not fun being in the house with someone who is obviously really struggling with a job and swearing and banging around (replacing a shower filter).

And I've had a person fix a tap for me which still didn't work properly. I contacted him to come back and sort it out, but he didn't. He is well known and reputable in the area and I don't know what went wrong, he was at my neighbour's this morning. But he ghosted me to the extent of not charging me for fixing the tap. I cut my losses and got someone else to fit a new one.

Yes, I would have wanted to avoid a verbal confrontation in the street for no useful purpose. Or been worried that the guy might be violent towards him.

Giving him a piece of his mind for being so unprofessional and speaking to his DP in such an appalling manner, most likely.

I am sure builders turn up to many jobs where it is not what they expected it to be and they get frustrated. The appropriate response is:

I am sorry, this is worse than I thought so I am not charging you, but I am leaving now.

NOT effing and blinding and criticising your budget choice of materials.

He was out of order irrespective of whether you broke the job down in enough detail for him or not. You didn’t deserve to have to experience that level of tension and swearing in your home.

The lovely man who services my water softener and does other bathroom and kitchen jobs used to do kitchen and bathroom installation work. He stopped doing it because he found the work so frustrating. He would turn up for a job and find the job had changed, that he had been needed the day before and no one told him, that he wasn't need that day and no one told him, that prep work hadn't been done, that the job was bigger than he had been booked for. He's a lovely bloke, would definitely not swear in front of a customer but I can see why the stress might get to a level where that could happen. No people should not swear and shout in your house but I sense a similar back story here.

If he was there for an hour then it clearly wasn't a five minute job. If it had been though, you still wouldn't have been overcharged because that was the minimum cost. Overcharged would have been a fee outside of the terms.

In your op you suggest that you should have been clearer about the job. Did you know that you were probably going to run into a problem that you hadn't been clear about at the outset, or are you just blaming yourself for a job that became bigger but you actually couldn't have known about?

It sounds like he was an arse. I'm sorry you felt intimidated in your home. I'd have hated that. The whole thing sounds awful.

@kimchiketch at what point did she say she changed the date? She said the dates have been changed and people have let her down?

Completely inappropriate behaviour by the guy. If he couldn't do it (been given wrong products or whatever) then he could have just explained this and said sorry I can't do it. His shouting and banging around was not professional and I'd 100% be making a complaint if he's a contractor for a larger organisation.

Really confused how anyone thinks this behaviour is acceptable. Seems like some are being contrary and inventing scenarios. Weird.

Trades are in very short supply. Getting a reliable tradesman means building a relationship with someone, being a very calm and reasonable customer, making teas and listening to them talk and complain and basically looking after them. When he started swearing I'd have gone downstairs and talked to him.

Otherwise, you are fucked. Especially if you have a husband on a short fuse.

This. I think posters who are on the tradesman side haven't had to dealt with a tradesman in the past 10 years.
Getting a job done is a effing nightmare these days. Some good ones out there but few and far between.

@kimchiketch and at no point did she suggest she changed the date. Not sure what your agenda is but it's odd.

If you think this is acceptable behaviour from someone who has come to do a job in your home then you need to up your standards.

Such weird responses! This tradesman has behaved unprofessionally, there is no doubt about that. OP’s DH probably ran outside to try and ask the tradesman what was going on (as it sounds like he behaved in a confusing way) and the OP shouted “Don’t” as the tradesman was behaving erratically and aggressively and she didn’t want her husband getting punched.

I’ve dealt with countless tradesmen over the years and never had to deal with anything similar to this. I’d hate if they were swearing and saying it was my fault and my stuff was shit.