Things that annoy you about Estate Agents listings? (lighthearted)

[Wintersgirl]

OK, I'll go first!
Panoramic/wide angle shots of the driveway to make it look double the length/width it actually is (same goes for internal shots)
No floorplan
Pointless photographs of taps running or a bunch of flowers, I'd much rather have more photos of the property
Virtual tours when they just use just stills of the photos you've already seen...why? It's not a virtual tour at all!
Anyone else got anything? I'm sure there's loads more but those are the ones that I see frequently.

I won't view a house if they don't add a floor plan. It screams "something to hide"

I hate clicking on the EPC or Council Tax info only to read 'ask agent.'

How about the agent just bloody makes the info available if they're trying to sell a house.

I always assume EPC must be E.

Measurements that say 'to widest point' which often seems to mean the back of the fitted wardrobes or to the furthest extremity of a tiny alcove.

Ha, yes these are all so true!

One of the agents in my area puts pointless stuff like 'imagine opening a bottle of wine in this kitchen' or 'you'll be able to catch those last days of the evening sunshine in this delightful garden.' Hate that. I want facts and will decide myself whether I want to drink wine in the kitchen or relax in the garden.

you'll be able to catch those last days of the evening sunshine in this delightful garden. yep, too bloody twee!

'Boasting'. As if a dodgy dilapidated house boasts anything 😂

'potential'

"In walk in condition" when it's decor is something from the 80s

Not stating which way property faces. “Deceptively spacious” (looks awful from outside). As a gardener I want to know soil type! (Nightmare if soil is rubbish or buried rubble loads more work)🙄

”must be viewed to be appreciated” Does this mean (a) there really are people who buy houses that they don’t view or (b) the photos are awful but it’s really not so bad in person?!

Photos of the bathroom with the toilet seat up. I really hate seeing that.

No compass on the floor plan so you can’t tell which way the garden faces.

Agree 100% about those stupid video tours that are actually just photo montages!

These are great ( and so true) keep em coming! Off to Rightmove now to see a few more..ha ha

A video tour which shows the agent walking down the garden in slow motion. No, it doesn’t make short gardens look longer.

Describing a bedroom the size of a double bed as a double bedroom.

Photos taken in broad daylight which show the lights on in all the rooms. So the property’s dingy, is it?

Yes, EAs use that word a great deal, so wanky!

And it's invariably 'boasting' something completely mundane. 'The entrance vestibule boasts a radiator and a window'.

“Laid to lawn”. No idea what this bloody means

Eugh..

An audio tour i.e. a series of photos with a voiceover which states the bleeding obvious.

I've also come to realise that 'lovingly maintained' means that everything is spotless but needed replacing a decade ago.

A video tour which shows the agent walking down the garden in slow motion. No, it doesn’t make short gardens look longer.

Yes and why are some of the handheld tours just so awful? I get motion sickness from watching them because they whizz the camera around so bloody quickly...stop!

'A pedestrianised front garden'.

That's a new one on me...christ.

'Ideal holiday cottage'

A house listed as 4 bedrooms.... but when you look at the floor plan there are 3 beds upstairs and downstairs a room is marked as "dining room/bedroom 4"

That is not a 4 bed!!