‘Should’ we move out of SW London

[coco123456789]

We live in a lovely leafy part of South West London. 3 kids and our house has 4 bedrooms so we do technically all fit. The garden is tiny but it is quiet at least. We love where we live but there is such a huge impetus to move because kids ‘need’ more space. Has anyone decided to sit firm and stayed in their little London homes with a growing family? Or has anyone made the move out to Surrey and think that in hindsight they should have stayed? Kids range between 3 and 9.

I've been feeling similar to you OP.

I think part of it is thinking that I need to make a change. Not just so I don't have to spend any more time looking at the same four walls (although that is true!) but more a sense of doing something so life has a sense of forward motion, when it feels like everything been paused, due to lockdown.

Did you feel like moving before Covid?

And on a side note, someone told us getting built in furniture can increase the value of your home (if done well) so we are having some cupboards fitted and looking at it as cost neutral if we move.

@minipie I don't know how to send messages

If you click on the three little dots at the bottom right of any post, an option should come up to PM that poster. But no worries if you’d rather not!

It's great for teenagers being near public transport, cinemas etc. You have to be careful in moving out of town that you don't list that and spend your life driving them around

Your family sounds relatively happy where you are. Don't compare yourself to others. Your situation - enough bedrooms for everyone, good school set -up, close enough to walk to work, nice neighbours etc - you are extremely fortunate! Your children will love being able to access everything that London has to offer when they are teens. They will spend more time outside of the house soon enough with their friends.

@Crowsaregreat

I lived in Bath for years, it's full of yummy mummies whose husbands commute four hours a day and they have to buy a house full of expensive shit to make themselves think it's all worth it. He wouldn't see kids much growing up and you'd end up doing everything with the house and boring childcare stuff.

Plus, as someone who is still in the SW to be honest I don't want an influx of Londoners making communities unsustainable and moaning the whole time about how the buses are bad etc. Do you ever think about what it does to other communities when you move like that and push up house prices?

I live in a pretty village just outside Bath and completely agree @crowsaregreat The commute into London from here is utterly soul destroying and horrendously expensive, I know, I did it occasionally. Public transport outside of London is crap, you’ll end up in endless traffic jams ferrying the children around and all for what?

@Crowsaregreat

I lived in Bath for years, it's full of yummy mummies whose husbands commute four hours a day and they have to buy a house full of expensive shit to make themselves think it's all worth it. He wouldn't see kids much growing up and you'd end up doing everything with the house and boring childcare stuff.

Plus, as someone who is still in the SW to be honest I don't want an influx of Londoners making communities unsustainable and moaning the whole time about how the buses are bad etc. Do you ever think about what it does to other communities when you move like that and push up house prices?

I live in a pretty village just outside Bath and completely agree @crowsaregreat The commute into London from here is utterly soul destroying and horrendously expensive, I know, I did it occasionally. Public transport outside of London is crap, you’ll end up in endless traffic jams ferrying the children around and all for what?

@Crowsaregreat

I lived in Bath for years, it's full of yummy mummies whose husbands commute four hours a day and they have to buy a house full of expensive shit to make themselves think it's all worth it. He wouldn't see kids much growing up and you'd end up doing everything with the house and boring childcare stuff.

Plus, as someone who is still in the SW to be honest I don't want an influx of Londoners making communities unsustainable and moaning the whole time about how the buses are bad etc. Do you ever think about what it does to other communities when you move like that and push up house prices?

I live in a pretty village just outside Bath and completely agree @crowsaregreat The commute into London from here is utterly soul destroying and horrendously expensive, I know, I did it occasionally. Public transport outside of London is crap, you’ll end up in endless traffic jams ferrying the children around and all for what?

[quote iminthegarden]@ParentOfOne yep, offended! [/quote]
@iminthegarden why offended? I didn't express any judgment on Tory or Brexit supporters. I merely stated a fact - in certain areas there is less diversity, and many more people support Brexit the Tories etc.

What to make of this is up to the OP; for some people it will be irrelevant, for others it will be a downside, for others it will be a plus.

But this cannot be denied!!! It's a pretty evident fact.

@FurierTransform
"Surely no-one avoids moving to a nice area because it's 'too Tory' - that's an incredibly small minded/twitter-esque echo chamber type of mentality."

See above: I never told the OP to avoid an area because of that, I simply suggested it is something to keep in mind; again, for some people it could even be a plus.

Thanks - I think my mind is made up. Got to stop listening to others and think about our own family. Sometimes not making a move is as brave as staying put.

[quote coco123456789]@ParentOfOne we are white middle class but not Tory and not pro Brexit! Very much not Tory, that’s what worries DH about Surrey[/quote]
OP, if you are white middle class, not Tory, not Brexit and want to move house you should not move to Surrey or the country, but to North London!! It's lovely up here

[quote coco123456789]@ParentOfOne we are white middle class but not Tory and not pro Brexit! Very much not Tory, that’s what worries DH about Surrey[/quote]
OP, if you are white middle class, not Tory, not Brexit and want to move house you should not move to Surrey or the country, but to North London!! It's lovely up here

Definitely stay. Just declutter. We stayed but were fortunate enough to upsize a bit too in same area (also SWLondon). Son has much bigger room. He just filled it with more shit and I drives me mad!

Can't believe the idea that going to a school that is "‘mixed’ In terms of socio economic intake" is just so blithely accepted on here?!

@nongnangning ha! We did live in north London pre kids and it’s definitely our spiritual home! Moved sw when had kids for shorter commute and to be near my parents for childcare

@nongnangning ha! We did live in north London pre kids and it’s definitely our spiritual home! Moved sw when had kids for shorter commute and to be near my parents for childcare

@HeronLanyon

furier I wouldn’t move to a largely Tory area, partic if rural. I’ve lived in those circs before and I know I am very much more happy in a mixed area - more diverse in lots of ways. Astonished you’ve not come across this before. Kind of far removed from small minded surely?

This 💯 why we are moving back to Hackney from where we live now, 20 miles outside London. Local attitudes are like going back 50 years. I have found it very hard.

@HeronLanyon

furier I wouldn’t move to a largely Tory area, partic if rural. I’ve lived in those circs before and I know I am very much more happy in a mixed area - more diverse in lots of ways. Astonished you’ve not come across this before. Kind of far removed from small minded surely?

That is 💯 why we are moving back to Hackney from Herts/Essex. The prevailing attitudes are like going back 50 years. Genuinely shocking.

@Crowsaregreat

I lived in Bath for years, it's full of yummy mummies whose husbands commute four hours a day and they have to buy a house full of expensive shit to make themselves think it's all worth it. He wouldn't see kids much growing up and you'd end up doing everything with the house and boring childcare stuff.

Plus, as someone who is still in the SW to be honest I don't want an influx of Londoners making communities unsustainable and moaning the whole time about how the buses are bad etc. Do you ever think about what it does to other communities when you move like that and push up house prices?

I live in a pretty village just outside Bath and completely agree @crowsaregreat The commute into London from here is utterly soul destroying and horrendously expensive, I know, I did it occasionally. Public transport outside of London is crap, you’ll end up in endless traffic jams ferrying the children around and all for what?

This is a really helpful thread for me - we're in a similar boat, NE London, got a fair bit of equity in our house due to buying before prices went mad, and we could afford to take on a much bigger mortgage if we needed. Live in a small 3 bed, 1 mile from tube, with tiny garden that gets very little sun - no sitting in the sun in the evenings at least. We have thought on and off about moving a bit further out for the last few years but have not got around to doing anything about it, and our eldest child starts secondary this year so really we've left it a bit late. We could afford to buy something bigger locally but one of the nice things about this area is that all the housing stock is quite similar and there isn't much out there which is worth the cost and upheaval of moving. The secondary on our doorstep has fairly dire results, but is rated Good by Ofsted and everyone we know with kids there raves about it. And there isn't any sort of culture here of kids going private - which we could have afforded if we aren't moving. There are a few kids going further afield to grammars but that wasn't right for us for a number of reasons (one being that I don't think our child would have got in without being tutored to an inch of his life!). So I think we're probably staying put. We are also thinking about an extension which wouldn't get us more garden or any closer to the tube but would give us more living space and a spare room for visitors (which in normal times is one of the reasons it would be nice to move).

So yes, for us, the friends close by, reasonable schools, friendly and diverse community are all good reasons to stay put, and it sounds like it's the same for you. There has been a bit of an exodus from my eldest's class during year 5 and year 6 but hopefully those of us here still are here to stay.

@ParentOfOne when you talk about places outside cities being less diverse this is of course fair enough, but when you start throwing in skin colour, brexit, Tory, UKIP in a negative context you are making small-minded sweeping generalisations which, of course, are going to offend. We all get your point, you just made it rather clumsily.