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Primary education

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Original poster

Primary School punch - AIBU?

390 replies

MovingMad87 · 18/02/2025 22:53

DD is in Year 1 (6 years old). A few days ago, I got a call from her school saying she had been punched in the face by a boy in her class, leaving her with a bleeding nose. Awful.

The school explained that DD had been trying to stop this boy from grabbing her friend by the neck. She asked him to stop and told him he should apologise. In response, he punched her. The school suspended him for a day before half-term as a result.

This boy has a history of violent behaviour; scratching, kicking, and punching other children. The school is aware of the issue but as of now haven't really done anything about it.

A few weeks ago, I overheard DDs form tutor telling a parent that their child had a bad day. The teacher had bruises down her leg from being kicked by a different child. While that wasn't the same boy, it reinforced my growing concern that this level of violence is being normalised in the classroom. When I asked DD about it, she wasn't even particularly shocked; apparently, incidents like this happen all the time.

Now, I'm thinking I need to move my child to another school. Possibly private, but I'd rather explore good state school options first. I'll hear what the school has to say in the meeting, but for me, a punch in the face is a red line. A 6-year-old should not be dealing with this. Either the school removes this child, or we leave.

AIBU? Would you move your child?

OP posts:
Minuethippo · 18/02/2025 23:29

Yes absolutely. What hillbilly kinda school is this? Rotten

OutandAboutMum1821 · 19/02/2025 00:07

You’re not being unreasonable in the slightest…I feel really sorry for your daughter and yourself, that’s terrible. I have a DD (3), and would be horrified if that happened to her at school. Schools need to take this type of behaviour very seriously, suspending then expelling if it continues. Good luck to you both ☺️

Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 06:40

Minuethippo · 18/02/2025 23:29

Yes absolutely. What hillbilly kinda school is this? Rotten

Thankyou! That makes me feel better! I just think it's madness. I want my daughter to focus on learning and her education. This is not something she should be dealing with at 6.

OP posts:
Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 06:41

OutandAboutMum1821 · 19/02/2025 00:07

You’re not being unreasonable in the slightest…I feel really sorry for your daughter and yourself, that’s terrible. I have a DD (3), and would be horrified if that happened to her at school. Schools need to take this type of behaviour very seriously, suspending then expelling if it continues. Good luck to you both ☺️

Thanks! I think she has to move really. It's a shame because she loves her friends there - but I think it would be irresponsible to leave her there.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 19/02/2025 06:48

Schools have to jump through many hoops before they can exclude a pupil.

Many schools will have children with behavioural issues, even private schools.

In your meeting with the school you can ask how they will safeguard your child. But you cannot tell them to exclude a child.

BishBashBoomer · 19/02/2025 06:50

The school cannot simply ‘remove’ a child.

Liguria · 19/02/2025 06:51

Report to Ofsted

BishBashBoomer · 19/02/2025 06:52

Sorry, meant to add, this is what happens when needs are unmet. It will be the same in any underfunded school where children with learning and behavioural differences can’t be met without (funded) intervention.

CaptainFuture · 19/02/2025 06:55

OutandAboutMum1821 · 19/02/2025 00:07

You’re not being unreasonable in the slightest…I feel really sorry for your daughter and yourself, that’s terrible. I have a DD (3), and would be horrified if that happened to her at school. Schools need to take this type of behaviour very seriously, suspending then expelling if it continues. Good luck to you both ☺️

Agree with this, but being upset/taking objection to your child being assaulted, doesnt go down well here often. You get told how dreadful it is to even mention it, and that acknowledging it, is hurtful to the perpetrator as they're 'only a child!!' totally overlooking that it's another child being injured!

PurpleThistle7 · 19/02/2025 07:05

My son was punched in the face in P1 (5) and it was a shock - had a massive black eye and everything. The boy had some issues (this was 2021 so just post lockdown and he had been stuck in a flat with just his parents for months so didn't know how to share or queue up for lunch or anything). The school worked with the boy a lot and had him in the nurture room regularly etc. He's now a lovely kid and they play together at after school club.

With all the cuts and the lack of support for teachers - and parents - it's no surprise to me that there would be children who struggle. That doesn't mean you shouldn't want better for your kid, but it's likely things like this happen at every school.

NewHeaven · 19/02/2025 07:09

The government needs to address the elephant in the room which is that boys are witnessing male violence at home & copying it in school. So unless the issue of general male violence is tackled robustly, students & staff at school will always be at risk.

crumblingschools · 19/02/2025 07:11

@Liguria reporting to OFSTED does not always bring the result posters think it will. Many times they will ask if the parent has followed the school’s complaint policy before they will do anything.

They are not going to swoop into a school where a child has been punched in the face. Sadly this behaviour is quite common place in schools

BeethovenNinth · 19/02/2025 07:13

Are you in Scotland? This is very common place now.

you have to go to the local authority/head and complain multiple times for said violent child to receive more support in class. It is not funded otherwise.

3WildOnes · 19/02/2025 07:14

I don't think incidents like this happen at most schools as a previous poster suggested! I have three children and none of them has ever been assaulted at school. I would move my child.

LizzieBet14 · 19/02/2025 07:18

In my ks2 class (state school), a third of the class have SEN (ASD,ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Speech & Language) yet I don't have a TA to support.
Meltdowns, refusal to work, refusal to come in, hitting, throwing classroom objects is the norm on a day to day basis yet the Head will only really do anything if a number of parents complain.
Schools are severely underfunded yet we're expected to just keep going. At least 3 of the children should have a 1:1 and the domino effect is huge.

TriangleLight · 19/02/2025 07:19

I’d move her too. This is awful. There should be social work intervention with the boy too, but it won’t help you. Your child has the right to be safe at school

I’m in Scotland and it very much appears that discipline in schools is a thing of the distant past.

Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:21

crumblingschools · 19/02/2025 06:48

Schools have to jump through many hoops before they can exclude a pupil.

Many schools will have children with behavioural issues, even private schools.

In your meeting with the school you can ask how they will safeguard your child. But you cannot tell them to exclude a child.

This is an 'Ark' School so I thought they might have more sway. The issue is that this child has been like this for more than 8 months and I can't really leave my child in there to get hit again. So really either they remove him (they have enough evidence to if they followed their own behaviour policy) or we have to find somewhere else.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 19/02/2025 07:21

@3WildOnes have you asked them whether anyone has been assaulted in their class? I think it would be very rare for them to have not seen a violent outburst from a child in the school

Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:22

BishBashBoomer · 19/02/2025 06:50

The school cannot simply ‘remove’ a child.

We have read their behaviour policy; they had enough grounds to exclude this child months ago. To me, they have failed if it has now got to a point where my child has a bleeding nose because of a punch by a 6 year old.

OP posts:
Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:25

Liguria · 19/02/2025 06:51

Report to Ofsted

We may very well do depending on the outcome of the meeting.

OP posts:
welshweasel · 19/02/2025 07:25

My eldest had similar (although not as bad) in year 1, in his 'outstanding' state primary. Culminated in him having his head slammed in a wooden chest lid.

School were trying but didn't have enough support for the many kids who needed it. They also said they were struggling as parents were refusing to work with them on disciplinary/behavioural strategies.

We ended up moving him to private after a term of year 1 and never looked back. We are obviously extremely lucky to have this option, but I don't regret it for a second.

Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:25

BishBashBoomer · 19/02/2025 06:52

Sorry, meant to add, this is what happens when needs are unmet. It will be the same in any underfunded school where children with learning and behavioural differences can’t be met without (funded) intervention.

Hence I'm considering moving to her to a private school....

OP posts:
Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:27

PurpleThistle7 · 19/02/2025 07:05

My son was punched in the face in P1 (5) and it was a shock - had a massive black eye and everything. The boy had some issues (this was 2021 so just post lockdown and he had been stuck in a flat with just his parents for months so didn't know how to share or queue up for lunch or anything). The school worked with the boy a lot and had him in the nurture room regularly etc. He's now a lovely kid and they play together at after school club.

With all the cuts and the lack of support for teachers - and parents - it's no surprise to me that there would be children who struggle. That doesn't mean you shouldn't want better for your kid, but it's likely things like this happen at every school.

Really sorry to hear this! Unfortunately it doesn't seem like this behaviour will change. They've tried everything for 8 months and the child is getting worse. I'm don't think I'm prepared to wait around for another punch and I think (maybe naively) that there are schools around where this just doesn't happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:28

crumblingschools · 19/02/2025 07:11

@Liguria reporting to OFSTED does not always bring the result posters think it will. Many times they will ask if the parent has followed the school’s complaint policy before they will do anything.

They are not going to swoop into a school where a child has been punched in the face. Sadly this behaviour is quite common place in schools

We will do the meeting first to see what they say. But my number one priority is safeguarding my child. If they can't protect my child I'll have to move her.

OP posts:
Original poster
MovingMad87 · 19/02/2025 07:28

BeethovenNinth · 19/02/2025 07:13

Are you in Scotland? This is very common place now.

you have to go to the local authority/head and complain multiple times for said violent child to receive more support in class. It is not funded otherwise.

We are in London.

OP posts: