Primary School punch - AIBU?

[MovingMad87]

DD is in Year 1 (6 years old). A few days ago, I got a call from her school saying she had been punched in the face by a boy in her class, leaving her with a bleeding nose. Awful.

The school explained that DD had been trying to stop this boy from grabbing her friend by the neck. She asked him to stop and told him he should apologise. In response, he punched her. The school suspended him for a day before half-term as a result.

This boy has a history of violent behaviour; scratching, kicking, and punching other children. The school is aware of the issue but as of now haven't really done anything about it.

A few weeks ago, I overheard DDs form tutor telling a parent that their child had a bad day. The teacher had bruises down her leg from being kicked by a different child. While that wasn't the same boy, it reinforced my growing concern that this level of violence is being normalised in the classroom. When I asked DD about it, she wasn't even particularly shocked; apparently, incidents like this happen all the time.

Now, I'm thinking I need to move my child to another school. Possibly private, but I'd rather explore good state school options first. I'll hear what the school has to say in the meeting, but for me, a punch in the face is a red line. A 6-year-old should not be dealing with this. Either the school removes this child, or we leave.

AIBU? Would you move your child?

Wheelchair users aren’t the only disabled people. I an also a disabled person. Not a wheelchair user, not violent, but disabled. Being in a wheelchair doesn’t make you the disabled spokesperson.

Good luck “proving” that.

@StolenChanel Please show me the post where I claimed to be a spokesperson?

I home educate my dd due to the behaviour of other students. She changed school once and the kids were as bad in the new school. Teacher basically told me there was nothing she could do too many of the boys behaved that way and she can't be everywhere all the time.

It wasn't just behaviour either my dd is a high achieving child overall with a couple tricky areas where she needed additional support. But there were sooo many high needs Sen kids and behaviour difficulties that she never had any teacher time. I was repeatedly told she's doing great then her SATs came back working towards- teacher response to that was well she's one of the best in the class.

My area is particularly bad. I'm a childminder and know we are one of the most deprived areas in our county very vulnerable children. But I've got friends in posh villages having the same problems with schools. The poor teachers are only human, over worked underpaid with increasing SEND and behaviour challenges they have no power to do anything about.

”Restorative justice” and “all behaviour is communication” are two of the most dangerous phrases in education.

Hate both of these and have refused to engage in either nonsense

Do you even know what they mean?

How patronising.

Do you?

Because what you have there is evidence based best practice and entirely separately an expression which refers to another evidence based practice related to behaviour management. The former workers. That latter refers to a practice that also works.

I am yet to come across any professional who knows what they mean and doesn’t support them as a practice.

If you want to explain why they don’t work or what is dangerous about them but I suspect that view is based on not actually knowing what they mean.

If that's directed at me I can assure you I know exactly what they mean. I did a course on RJ long before it became fashionable.
Out of our staff of 20 only about 2 have any faith in either (based on experience) - and they're the type who nod and agree with any new initiative.

What’s dangerous is when people refuse to engage with non-punitive approaches or don’t show professional curiosity about behaviour. Numerous case reviews of cases in which children have died or been seriously harmed have highlighted an issue with schools taking a punitive approach to behaviour and failing to fully understand the reasons behind the behaviour. In 2023, the NSPCC highlighted it as the very first point in their briefing on learning from serious case reviews for the education sector.

Children have died because schools and other agencies have treated behaviour as something to be punished rather than something to be investigated as communicating something.

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/1336/learning-from-case-reviews-education.pdf

Really? What was the name of the programme and context? Because within schools it’s actually a restorative approach (not justice) and applies to the entire culture of the school, it’s not a simple programme. Which of course you know. But I would love to know the programme you did before it became “fashionable”.

If the 18 staff don’t like the programme what do they favour as a behaviour management approach?

It's so long ago I've no idea what it was called

shocking.

why hasn’t your school updated their approach to behaviour management in so long that it’s based on a programme you can’t remember the name of? Your policy is just based on RJ?

Do you remember what your issue was with the programme you did…?

It was over 20 years ago. I can't remember the name of every single course I've been on in 40 years 🙄

What do they use now then?

The LA behaviour policy

@Ritzybitzy @RaraRachael Are you pair aware you are arguing amongst yourselves and that you look ridiculous.

I'm making statements. She is finding fault in my every reply and quizzing the arse off me too

Well one or both of you need to stop and move on.

I'm happy to. I never asked to be harangued like this but some people always have to be right.

Popcorn anybody? 😂

Actually you started the interaction by calling me patronising and then decided to dig yourself a massive hole.

Please go and annoy someone else. I'm done with this shit