How to raise this bizarre situation with the teacher?

[Carrrrot]

I’ve name changed.

DS is in Y2. A few weeks ago he came home to say that it was the teacher’s birthday in a few weeks time and that they were going to have a party but only the well behaved kids would be invited. Bit odd but I didn’t really think much of it / assumed he’d misunderstood. Over the next few days he tells me,

That three children are invited and everyone else will have to watch from outside the classroom
That she’s told the class she would like perfume and chocolate as presents
That he needs to be really well behaved to be invited (there are no behaviour issues generally, he’s fine)

He’s a pretty reliable reporter but it all sounded so odd.

Today it’s come up on the class WhatsApp (obvs) and ten or more parents have reported the same from their kids. Some are in tears in the evening stressing out about being excluded from this party or being told off and jeopardising their chances.

One mum, God bless her, approached the teacher today, who replied that it was a joke and that the kids should ask her if they aren’t sure if something is a joke. Which is unlikely, because she’s quite a stern figure and I can barely imagine most of the parents talking to her like that, let alone a six year old.

I think there’s quite a lot wrong with all of this and would like to speak to the teacher somehow but don’t know where to start. Any ideas? It just seems like awful, divisive behaviour.

If you are not happy with the outcome you can still take it further..... It's your prerogative for the best for your children

I think you're well within your rights to ask the school for a meeting to discuss your concerns and find out what they're putting in place so you can feel confident in the care being provided for your child in loco parentis.

If the Head were really on it, this teacher wouldn't be teaching anymore. I am a teacher and a union rep and this is a really concerning situation as the teacher is not able to safeguard the children in her care. Her actions so far have been sufficient to constitute gross misconduct.

You don't have to just accept the situation and carry on.

You have two options.

1. Write to the Chair of Governors outlining your concerns
2. Call the LADO (Local Authority Designated Officer) and tell them your concerns, and then let them deal with it

I would go to the Chair of Governors first and then if you still get nowhere, go to the LADO. You can't just blindly trust the Head to deal with it, believe me. I've been teaching for a long time and never had a Headteacher I could trust to deal properly with anything!

Unless I’ve missed an update saying she herself approached the teacher I’m pretty sure I read that another parent expressed her concerns not the actual poster. Therefore, if the parent who approached the teacher isn’t satisfied then it’s for that individual to go higher up should she feel the need too, not the poster. She should approach the teacher herself first then if not satisfied go higher up not bypassing the class teacher to go above her on the fact she knows someone else has addressed the issue because of playground/whatapp conversations between parents x

Haven't you read OP's posts? The situation has moved on and it appears a number of parents have, rightly, alerted the senior leadership team.

I don't agree. The 'tease' was horribly cruel to such young children who tend ro believe whatever the teacher says. This wasn't teasing, it was tormenting.
Or perhaps it was a rather desperate attempt to keep control of the class? They had to behave well to get to the 'party'?

Why on earth resurrect a thread that is 4 months old?

It’s apt timing actually - we’ve just found out that the teacher is leaving at the end of the school year. I am quietly relieved tbh. She has let the kids know that she wants to have a leaving party. Hope it doesn’t go the same way!

That's good news.

I did work experience at a primary school when I was 16 and the teacher I was with was just strange and could be quite nasty to the kids sometimes.

She was in her 40s I think so I wonder if dealing with little kids year in year out takes its toll on some teachers. I know that I couldn't do it.

I’m in my 50s and no it has nothing to do with age! How anyone can be unkind to a child I just don’t know. Should not be in the job!