Parents refusing to follow school rules....

[AgeX]

Hello, first post so please go easy!

My youngest child is in primary school. She is 7 years old. I've been a member of the parents Whatsapp group since it was set up and have noticed the parents appear to be extremely against following rules set by the school.

They will discuss en masse and decide what the school uniform should be on any given day despite reminders being sent by the school. An example of this is on Thursday of this week the children are having photographs taken and a reminder message was sent out to all parents to advise that school uniform was required. A number of the parents have taken it upon themselves to advise the WhatsApp group that their children will be wearing PE kit and they don't care for the rules and will be disregarding/ignoring the reminder.

Now what their children wear is their own choice but I will send my child in school uniform and I know she will come home from school asking why everyone was in PE kit despite it not being a dedicated PE day. She's quite sensitive and will think she is in the wrong because the majority are dressed differently than her.

I know it is trivial in the grand scheme of things but term has only started and this is the second occasion in which my child is almost the odd one out.

I suppose I just don't know how to approach the situation? My older child is also in primary school and we have not encountered issues such as these at all so it's all new to me!

As it’s a primary school, has your child been there since Reception (as a 4 year old)? What were things like in those years?

They sound like a bunch of entitled twats that are the reason teachers are leaving in their droves. Idiots

I haven't really noticed it being an issue up until last year to be honest so I'm not sure if it is normal parental behaviour. It's not been an issue with my older child's parent group. Just not sure how to approach it without causing an issue, I.e. parents take an issue with me and child is left out of birthday parties etc. I know I'm overthinking it perhaps. I'm just a bit annoyed for my child who hates being highlighted for the right or wrong reasons.

Yes I'm inclined to agree. I really feel sorry for teachers who have to deal with groups of parents like this.

Christ they sound like idiots. Their kids will be the ones who grow up with no respect for rules and constantly being excluded in secondary school....then their parents can get an interview with the Daily Fail saying how dreadful and draconian the school is for expecting them to wear uniform.

If so, think of how many teachers we could keep in the profession if only schools no longer enforced uniforms and just let children wear normal clothes like in almost all of Europe.

just leave the WhatsApp group and leave them to their gossiping

This infuriates me too. I think it’s more about the parents than the child, maybe they had a poor school experience and are “rebelling” in some small way through their child now but it’s all a bit pathetic. The rules apply to everyone including you and your child. If everyone decided to be special and not follow the rules there would be problems so suck it up and be a responsible member of society please.

I've contemplated this but this is where they post birthday invites etc, it's all done on this group so means my child will inevitably miss the parties so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know I can ignore these posts but when she comes home upset then it annoys me as she actually hasn't done anything wrong.

Why isn’t the school enforcing the uniform rule? When you enrol in a school, you agree to the expectations that school has. If parents are going to make arbitrary decisions about what they agree to, there will be anarchy, unless the head and staff take charge.

How many of the parents have said they're sending the children in PE kit?

Also, are they actually serious about it or just sounding off in reaction to the fiat from the school?

I wonder what would happen if you let school know. I'm not suggesting you do, just wondering what would happen! Hypothetically, if they were aware that there was effectively an organised mass rebellion against school rules, would they do anything, or would it make it easier to crack down?

Presumably the group think there's safety in numbers, that they can't sanction everyone. I can think of a few headteachers from my childhood who probably wouldn't have a clue what to do with the information, and only one or two who would clamp down hard on it. Undermining school policy would simply not be tolerated.

At DDs old primary, they would just be given a spare jumper to put over the PE kit

I find this really weird. I've had three DC go through primary school and never experienced this kind of thing. The WhatsApp group would normally be used to remind everyone to wear uniform in this example! Annoying.

@Sparklfairy I wouldn't suggest that in case the OP daughter then gets excluded from birthdays etc the parents aren't in school they don't have to agree to the rules.

OP why are they wanting to send in PE kit as that would inform my answer. If it's a normal PE day and that is what the kids wear it would annoy me if they were suddenly expected to take in PE kit and have an extra change of uniform. We had 4 changes of uniform and a PE kit that I didn't wash until the Friday night. I wouldn't have minded school photos of DS in his PE kit (to be fair I think we bought the class one twice) as I don't think they are as special as when we had them taken in the 90s with everyone having a smart phone.

Why arecthey going to wear p.e kit on a non p.e day? What's the reasoning?

It's not in your control OP.

I'd focus on making your child more robust and able to deal with such things.

I take it it's not all 90? Parents doing this?

Why does it matter what other parents do?

Why on Earth would they say to wear pe stuff if not a pe day

Unless it is pe and school Photos in which they wear uniform and take oe stuff to change into

I don’t think uniform is the reason why teachers are leaving in their droves. The main message from the OPs post is a distinct lack of respect for the profession and schools.

This is the generation of parents who don’t think schools should have rules and if they do, their precious children shouldn’t have to follow them.

I’ve got no idea what’s gone wrong but I am so glad I got out of teaching.

Sometimes, class WhatsApp groups get crazy, or at least uncomfortable. One of my children’s is perfectly normal (reminders about events or lost uniform questions), the other is not: multiple messages a day, people almost rowing about differences of opinion, a thousand questions and posts when one would do, etc. A very vocal few can make it seem as though it’s the whole group, when in reality, there’s fifty or more members who never post anything and probably agree with you that these parents are being inappropriate.
Have faith that you won’t be the only one following the rules, I’m sure!

You can mute the group and just check in once a week to check for birthday invitations etc.

This is really strange. Is it a rough area? I’ve never come across this kind of thing in primary.

PE kits are apparently easier for the parents to dress the children and the kids prefer the PE kits. The parents have previously spoken out in school surveys about their opinions about an antiquated uniform, ties, cardigans and pinafores. Results of these surveys would indicate the majority within the school as a whole agree with the uniform policy but I suspect my daughter's class are the only ones who disagree judging by their messages.

There is no other reason other than awkwardness on the part of the parents I can see but they are extremely outspoken on this WhatsApp group and I suspect other parents just go with the general consensus to avoid their child being the odd one out.

I don't know if raising it with the school is the best way forward but it is a very small school, there are maybe 25 kids per year so maybe 175 max children. Just seems we have unfortunately fallen in with the rebellious crowd.