Parents refusing to follow school rules....

[AgeX]

Hello, first post so please go easy!

My youngest child is in primary school. She is 7 years old. I've been a member of the parents Whatsapp group since it was set up and have noticed the parents appear to be extremely against following rules set by the school.

They will discuss en masse and decide what the school uniform should be on any given day despite reminders being sent by the school. An example of this is on Thursday of this week the children are having photographs taken and a reminder message was sent out to all parents to advise that school uniform was required. A number of the parents have taken it upon themselves to advise the WhatsApp group that their children will be wearing PE kit and they don't care for the rules and will be disregarding/ignoring the reminder.

Now what their children wear is their own choice but I will send my child in school uniform and I know she will come home from school asking why everyone was in PE kit despite it not being a dedicated PE day. She's quite sensitive and will think she is in the wrong because the majority are dressed differently than her.

I know it is trivial in the grand scheme of things but term has only started and this is the second occasion in which my child is almost the odd one out.

I suppose I just don't know how to approach the situation? My older child is also in primary school and we have not encountered issues such as these at all so it's all new to me!

What chance do the kids have with parents like this. Bunch of idiots. Reason no one wants to be a teacher anymore.

Read the post.

I'd just follow the rules not the consensus of a small minority of a class whatsapp group. It might be most of your DD year but over the school it will be a small minority. To be honest, I don't understand their argument on school uniform for photos. They and their children lose out on those nice school photos to look back on in 20 years etc. Teaching your child to ignore the rules at such a young age isn't going to end well when they go to secondary school.
If they keep doing it, the school will likely start enforcing the uniform rules and their children will end up missing out on things. I also have a sensitive DS (aged 7). We had a particular problem with school shoes and trainers towards the end of last year. I just had to keep reminding DS that eventually those children in trainers will be pulled up on it and not allowed to go out of play etc but he will be fine.

I've got American cousin's and they would massively disagree with you 🤣🤣 Hotpants miniskirts and t shirts with rude words is what happens

Follow the rules but if you really don’t want to go against the WhatsApp group mob rule after drop off message “sorry forgot you were all doing PE kit today.” Let DD know she looks very smart in her uniform, her teacher will be pleased she stuck to the rules & you/dad/nanny can’t wait to see her photo

My child’s WhatsApp group did this. They had a special history ww2 day. They said the kids could dress up in costume. The WhatsApp group decided not to. A couple of boys went in army stuff. All other kids in school uniform. I felt the pictures would have been loss better if the kids has been dressed up. The children would have enjoyed it more too. I think the parents didn’t want the hassle but I think our kids missed out.

Brilliant!

I know of some people who acted like this, a group of dimwits who all followed the leader. Common as muck, thick as mud.

Do your own thing. I would and I would respect you choosing to not follow like a dumb ass sheep. I'm certain the school has their number.

👍🏻

This is the generation of parents who don’t think schools should have rules and if they do, their precious children shouldn’t have to follow them

Indeed - but then this is what happens when those who've gone through "child centred" education go on to have kids of their own, and with social media to squawk their silliness on now it becomes a perfect storm

Just carry on sending your own DC in uniform and ignore it as best you can, OP; the school will do what they see fit, but in the meantime they'll know they have at least one parent with sense

The WhatsApp group for my son’s secondary is currently ablaze with a group of girl mums complaining about the school enforcing the length of their skirts, arguing that it is feeding into the toxic patriarchy etc etc. One mum was brave enough to say she thought some skirts were too short and underwear shouldn’t be on view, plus there is a uniform policy. She was shot down by the vocal queen bees. I was thinking - I bet they’d complaint if my son turned up with trousers down his bum with his pants on view. This is a bigger argument than if you agree with the uniform. Children need to be respectful of rules and brought up to be responsible, well-functioning members of society. Children feel safe when they know the boundaries.

I work in school admin (primary) and there does seem to be an increasing number of parents who don’t think the rules should apply to their child. Imagine if 30 Reception children were given total free rein to express themselves and never given boundaries. What a society that would become (Lord of the Flies anyone?). This week I dared to send a reminder to parents of the timings of the school day and the importance of arriving on time. One continual moaner berated the school for not understanding people’s individual circumstances. Imagine if the school staff all arrived late because of X, Y or Z. When my own children have complained they didn’t want to go to school, I’ve said - imagine you waiting on an operating table only for the surgeon to take a day off because they weren’t ’feeling it’ today.

I despair of what society is becoming. It will come back and bite those parents in the bum!

I have always chosen not to join the class WhatsApp groups. With my oldest I found some of the parents wanted to talk badly about ‘naughty’ children and compare reading levels / sets etc and none of that is me.

i now have one at secondary. The uniform (and pe kits) are non negotiable so (imo) might as well get them use to uniform
rules etc.

That is annoying OP, thankfully our WhatsApp group isn’t like that and we all like to remind each other of certain occasions and rules.

However Im struggling to understand why you can’t explain the situation to your DD? As previous posters have said, you need to explain to her, life is full of people making different rules in life about everything, you have to stay true to your values and stand ground on why you believe you have made certain decisions. I have two DD’s (both in senior now) but at 7 that was a conversation I could easily have had.

Have you never been in a school on a non-uniform day?
Seriously, the comments and bitchiness and mockery over what a child is wearing is terrible.

Yes, the reality is that lots of people don't have a practical choice about whether their child attends a school with non-fuckwit uniform policies.

That is awful.

It was bad enough with parents gossipping outside the school gates/doors at drop off and pick up times years ago, there was plenty of unpleasantness there (I always discreetly hung back from that). I definitely wouldn't have joined a Whatsapp group, or a school facebook group.

It's hardly surprising that many teachers are disillusioned with the profession and leave. I actually know a couple of teachers who have done that and taken up a different career, and there are many more.

Is this really what class whatsapps are typically like? Our's is used to ask logistical questions and occasionally invite to birthday parties. I couldn't be arsed wasting my time with such adolescent nonsense

This is just weird...

What on earth is the class teacher or the headteacher doing about this?

At our kids school, the minute they got wind of this Whatsapp group, they'd be sending out a warning not to orchestrate non-compliance with school rules, followed by sending the kids home.

There are means and ways of changing the uniform policy through the PTA, School Governors etc.

What a pathetic group of parents these are, OP.

In your shoes, I’d ignore them and dress your kid in the uniform. Ignore as much as possible. That’s all you can do really.

Some of the parents on the WhatsApp group I’m on are a bit vitriolic but nothing as batshit as this.

The headteacher needs to step up and challenge this parental behaviour otherwise this has the potential to build up issues for the future.

To be honest I am quite blunt with my kids about the stupidity of other people.

"Well, some people think they can do what they like for some reason - best to just ignore what they are doing"

I think it's better for them to grow up with a bit of a reality check about how a lot of other people are selfish idiots, rather than some idea that everyone is lovely and fabulous. It's not true. We don't prejudge and give everyone a chance when we meet them but if they reveal themselves to be a dick then I'm afraid I will call a spade a spade and will do it in front of the kids

I think in the uniform for photos thing, I think, at that age, I'd have said to your child that you would prefer to see her in uniform for this special school picture and that other Mums and Dads might prefer something different so she understands its not a big deal and has a reason that she can understand. I get that you don't want her excluded from the parties and stuff. I think yes gently raising it with the school might be a good idea, not being critical of the other batshit parents of course🙄

Indeed - but then this is what happens when those who've gone through "child centred" education go on to have kids of their own, and with social media to squawk their silliness on now it becomes a perfect storm

Child centred education was the fashion in the 1960s and 70s. I very much doubt whether the majority of these parents were educated like that. At least one poster has said that it's the1980s and 1990's parents who conform less.

By all means encourage conformity to sensible rules but there should be a reason for them. I am one who can't see the point of five year olds wearing ties when adult men increasing don't and adult women didn't normally unless they were in the Services.

I'd explain to her that the school said to wear uniform. It can't be all the other kids in PE kit? It's getting cold now for a start.

Re: the uniform debate, I'm against school uniforms. If ever parents got to decide, I'd choose not to have it. But we were out of catchment for the only local nonuniform school, and my view is that we've signed up to this school so we need to follow the rules.

They sound like a bunch of insufferable twats tbh. How childish does a person have to be to behave like this? How little do they have going on in their lives that they seriously do this?!

I'm utterly perplexed tbh.

Child centred education was the fashion in the 1960s and 70s. I very much doubt whether the majority of these parents were educated like that. At least one poster has said that it's the1980s and 1990's parents who conform less

It's true that's what it was called during that period, Peregrina, but unfortunately the mentality still prevails even today in too many areas, and when we add "you can't tell my child what to do" into the mix the results are only what I'd expect

Edited to add I definitely agree about ties for 5 year olds being excessive - what's wrong with a simple polo shirt and top layer for heaven's sake - but with the sort OP's got I doubt they'd welcome even that