Pressure to send 4 year old to reception

[Jenro22]

I'm dealing with a situation with my 4.5 year old daughter. She'll be starting reception next week and I am set on my decision to send her only part time until its compulsory for her to be in full time I'm already being pressured by her teachers to send her in full time as they fear she'll fall behind her peers in maths as I intend to send her only in the mornings mon-fri meaning she'll miss maths in the afternoon. I mentiond that surely the level of maths she may miss can be easily caught up to when she joins in February (when she'll be of compulsory age). even suggested i can do bits of learning with her at home as we already do when the opportunity arrises. such as counting, adding and subtracting whatever is at hand for example sweets etc. They tried to argue that its not in her best interest to fall behind. in my opinion age 4 is anyways to young for formal learning and if they expect 4 year olds to ingest what they intend to teach I feel is abit far fetched. as some kids might excel but many won't as they are not mentally developed for learning in such a way. they should be playing, as for learning maths theyll learn through play and real life scenarios like couting sweets, fruit , toys etc. and if anything I think it may leave a negative impact on them and turn them off school. which is the opposite of what we all want. 🤔

Why will she go full time in February? It’s normally the term after their fifth birthday

On the other hand, it’s a bit sad that she’ll miss half the year bonding with her peers and play-based learning. Reception is mainly play based and she’ll only get half a year of that before going into year 1. Many kids will be starting next week when they were still 3 a few weeks ago. At 4.5 your daughter will be one of the oldest in the year.

My son has just finished reception and learnt a LOT, which you wouldn’t want your dd to have to learn all that PLUS the year 1 curriculum surely.

I agree that we start school too young here, but this is where you live and so you should do what’s going to set your child up best for the system you’re putting her into, not a scandi system she will not be in.

You will be surprised how much learning is done in reception. It’s the first building block of their education. They will miss out on a lot if they miss every maths lesson and it will not be the teachers job to catch them up as the option is there for your child to be in school. They also develop a lot socially in school and friendship groups get established. Once they fall behind it’s hard for them to catch up. It’s not a great idea IMO, but the choice is yours.

Do they really do maths in the afternoon? Every school I've ever worked in has done English and maths in the morning when the kids are least tired and a lot more playing and 'exploring the world' type science, art etc in the afternoon.

The reason they want her in full time is for funding, it's bollocks that she's going to miss some sort of vital maths at that age or fall terribly behind if you're doing bits with her at home. Have a look at the maths curriculum I'm sure you could easily cover it at home.

However I'd be wary of saying you want her to stay part time for x amount of time and do it more on when she is ready. Keep in mind that she might miss a lot of Christmas time fun activities if she still does half days then. I definitely think straight into full time is not right for a lot of kids, but you might find by half term that she's coping fine and ready to go full time in November.

I agree that kids start too young, but I think it would be worse for her to only do half days. It might stop her from forming friendship groups as she isn't around as much as the others. Also the risk of falling behind academically should be considered.

I can’t fathom how year R learn anything. My son has just started, and his classroom looks exactly like nursery and they seem to spend most of the time playing with sandpits and mud kitchens and ride on toys. But I’ve got enough friends who’s kids have been through reception to see how quickly they learn to write and read and do basic maths. They seem to sneak the learning in.

Ultimately, if you don’t want to send her, then don’t. But if the school are telling you she may fall behind then listen to them and know that’s a risk you’re taking. They probably do have some idea of what they’re taking about.

Edit: typo

Alternatively she might end up being more popular as she is more of a novelty only being there in the morning. How popular she is will be much more down to her personality and the personalities of her class mates than how much time she is in school though IMO.

They learn through play, and pick up a lot more than people realise.

As a PP has said, Reception is mostly play-based learning so it's not 'formal' education as such. She would be missing out a lot if she only goes in half a day for half the year. She's only just starting her journey into school, it doesn't make sense to put her in a position where she is behind everyone else right from the beginning, especially as there are no serious health reasons to keep her out. There is also her social development to think of, friendship bonds to make. It's not easy to catch up on something these things, particularly when everyone else has had a better chance.

Also the difference between developmental stages at her age are a lot smaller when measuring in months compared to that of a baby or toddler - 6 months or so of difference at her age isn't going to mean she's incapable next to her peers.

I agree.

In my daughters school they are expected to be able to read and write a sentence by the end of reception.

I think your setting her up to have a difficult few years as she tries to catch up.

You could probably easily replicate the maths at home.

I'd be more concerned about the social benefits. Everyone else will be having lunch together, playing outside together, playing games etc. She won't be as bonded as the others.

But ultimately... you need to do what you feel is best for your child. School needs to do what is best for the collective. If that means the library visit on a Tuesday afternoon, that's when they will go. Or a nativity play rehearsal. Or a group for those struggling with phonics.

People seem to get terribly worked up on here about kids starting school too young. Reception is largely play-based and any more formal learning is done in a fun way. She will honestly be fine if you send her in full time.

I don't know what you would do that to your child. Just let the child start at the same time as everyone else and have the same experience. They learn so much in reception both academically and socially. Can't you imagine for one minute how difficult it would be for the child to join in halfway through the year?

I suspect saying she can catch up in Feb may have irritated them. It implies you either think what they are doing for the first 6m is pointless or you expect them to devote lots of time to catching her up. It may be she is bright and will catch up easily but they aren't to know that yet.

Can you agree to review in October half term for now? If she is keeping up, they might be less concerned. Or she might want to go more.

All the maths they cover in Reception can easily be covered by an interested parent at home.

This document has the maths curriculum in it https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1180056/DfE_Development_Matters_Report_Sep2023.pdf

These are the goals for maths at the end of the Reception year.
Have a deep understanding of number to 10, including the composition of each number;
Subitise (recognise quantities without counting) up to 5;
Automatically recall (without reference to rhymes, counting or other aids) number bonds up to 5 (including subtraction facts) and some number bonds to 10, including double facts.
Verbally count beyond 20, recognising the pattern of the counting system;
Compare quantities up to 10 in different contexts, recognising when one quantity is greater than, less than or the same as the other quantity;
Explore and represent patterns within numbers up to 10, including evens and odds, double facts and how quantities can be distributed equally.

If you believe this is the best option for your child then stick to your guns.
I wouldn't get into an argument with the school or try to prove anything to them - it's your right as a parent to do what is best for your 4 year old.
If they push it just say 'thanks for your advice but we're happy with our choice' or 'we'll see how it goes'.

As mentioned, compulsory school age is the term after the 5th birthday, so would be 1st January or 1st April.

I would just send her full time to be honest in case she misses out on forming friendships.

Reception isn't formal learning and they're rarely sitting down. They're always doing some sort of activity, it's all very practical learning and experiments and I think you'd struggle with that at home.

Yes, 4 is young for school but mine started at age 4 (turned 4 in the June so very young still) and by the end of the Reception year could read and write which set him up perfectly for more formal learning in Y1.

They learn so much in everything they do in Reception and it seems a shame to not let her have that full opportunity.

I think you are being unreasonable and putting your child at a disadvantage. Either defer the full year or send them in - but sending them and missing half the year effectively while their peers settle, form friendships etc is not fair

Also year 1 is a big step up so missing half of reception doesn't put them in best position to cope in y1 imo

Incredibly disruptive for the class so best avoided unless there’s genuine reason such as special needs. My dtds started 2 days after turning 4. We adapted other areas of life - no after school clubs, quiet weekends for the first term. Some nights Dtd1 would fall asleep on her way home, I’d carry her to the sofa, wake her for tea then she’d eat and go to bed. We started clubs in year 2. They absolutely loved school.

you know your dc and school will advise so maybe trial it the school’s way then adapt if needed rather than deciding your dc needs different accommodations.

Your concerns don’t seem to be based upon concerns about her ability to cope but just with you having decided it’s best?

by doing part time she will miss a lot. She will miss education opportunities and more importantly she will miss chances to make friendships with her peers.

why not start and see how she gets on full time and then if there are problems talk to school about how best to overcome them and where the timetable will be best reduced

There's plenty of formal learning in Reception now, expectations have changed and increased massively over the last few years.
Yes, they play as well but there's also lots of carpet time, sitting at tables and formal work.

My son is just about to start reception - and was only 4 a couple of weeks ago so seems very young. For me, the first year of school isn't about learning per se, as I agree that could easily be covered at home and, frankly, he's learnt it all at nursery already. What I think is important is the social aspects and the routines (having lunch, circle time, the activities they do in the afternoon like forest school). Plus I'm ridiculously excited about all the Christmas activities and don't want him to miss out on anything!

If they were that tired then surely it would have been better to either delay or do part-time?

There is a natural break at lunchtime, so it's a good time to leave.

Both my younger children did part-time, although they missed 2/3 afternoons a week rather than them all and I gradually increased it.

It wasn't long ago that all children in reception had a staggered start. Mine did and he still fell asleep in the book corner once he went full time because he found it so exhausting. Now everyone thinks it's some kind of disaster and you'll be some kind of dunce and social pariah.

It's all nonsense, just be led by your child.

Is there a particular reason you only want to send her part time? They go home at 3ish so only a couple of hours extra. Agree with PP that they learn loads in reception - my DD motored through phonics letters in the first and second term and can now read short books, same with maths, can now add up to 10, I was surprised at the amount they learn. Also will be disruptive to the class and might affect her making friends, they will all be asking why she gets to go home earlier.

I delayed my summer born child’s school so he started Reception just after his 5th birthday.

In the preparation for this I did a lot of reading around the issues and had many conversations with primary teachers and head teachers about my concerns with him starting school so early, and they all agreed that I should either send him full time just after his 4th birthday or delay him by a whole year

They all said part time reception is the worst option because the child is most
likely to fall behind their peers.

They described starting Reception as being an “all or nothing” type of scenario.