Pressure to send 4 year old to reception

[Jenro22]

I'm dealing with a situation with my 4.5 year old daughter. She'll be starting reception next week and I am set on my decision to send her only part time until its compulsory for her to be in full time I'm already being pressured by her teachers to send her in full time as they fear she'll fall behind her peers in maths as I intend to send her only in the mornings mon-fri meaning she'll miss maths in the afternoon. I mentiond that surely the level of maths she may miss can be easily caught up to when she joins in February (when she'll be of compulsory age). even suggested i can do bits of learning with her at home as we already do when the opportunity arrises. such as counting, adding and subtracting whatever is at hand for example sweets etc. They tried to argue that its not in her best interest to fall behind. in my opinion age 4 is anyways to young for formal learning and if they expect 4 year olds to ingest what they intend to teach I feel is abit far fetched. as some kids might excel but many won't as they are not mentally developed for learning in such a way. they should be playing, as for learning maths theyll learn through play and real life scenarios like couting sweets, fruit , toys etc. and if anything I think it may leave a negative impact on them and turn them off school. which is the opposite of what we all want. 🤔

I think you’re being unreasonable and precious. Do her a favour and send her the full day like all the others. It’s so disruptive otherwise.

They seem to pick up loads, I’m always impressed. The way they do it with the play based learning really builds a beautiful foundation to see learning as fun rather than boring or scary. It’s incredible.

It's not so much that she will fall "behind" (she won't) it will just be such a faff for the teacher.
Reception is learning through play but there is plan to it and the teacher will be planning and sorting activities - a lot of which are done in small groups. For example a game involving throwing a ball to each other and counting out loud each time the ball is thrown will to the children be "playing with a ball" but is actually about following the instructions and "rules" of the game, learning the numbers to count and gaining confidence to talk out loud. All important learning.
Teachers will plan ahead with which children will be in which group, who works (plays) together well, who might need to be separated, who is good at supporting another child etc.
Obviously teachers can't plan for if a child is off school with an illness but it will be so disruptive to constantly have to remember to plan things around a child who isn't there the whole time.
Watch some episodes of "The Secret Life of Four Year Olds" and see how group work in Reception is so good and important.

This sounds like the worst possible option to me to be honest. A lot of ground work is done in Reception, socially as well as academically which is why I chose not to defer entry for my Summer born child (back then you just missed Reception and joined Year 1). I would think it is better to either bite the bullet and join full time like everyone else, or defer and start Reception a year late, though it may well be too late for that now. Half days could be very disruptive for everyone concerned.

I'm home schooling my 4 year old for reception as the school she was offered is an absolute shit hole so I'm waiting for a place at a decent one to come available. Reception maths can easily be taught by a parent (I am actually a teacher but you don't need to be) but it's far more than counting sweets, there's a lot to it especially as it needs to be taught through play and embedded into everything they do. I think if you're serious about what you're planning you need to do a lot more research and think it through

Agree your going to create more issues in the long run.

Mine is off to Year 1 tomorrow and she learnt loads in Reception, I couldn't believe how much. They do tons of lovely activities, theme weeks, forest school, join up with year 6 for buddy meetings. I wouldn't have wanted DD to miss out on any of that, the friendships or any of the soft skills she learnt along the way.

I'm in NI, my DD learned a huge amount in P1 last year. She started barely able to write her own name, now she can make an attempt at a sentence, read simple words etc. In maths she can count to 100, add and subtract to a much higher level than I would have expected at this age and count in 5s, 10s etc.

I really hadn't expected they would learn so much in the first year, I was very surprised.

She also loved school and wouldn't have been happy to be taken out while all of her friends were still there. And would have struggled with friendships I think if she missed playtime.

How will this impact the rest of the education? Will they enter year 7 at age 12 or will they leave primary in year 5 to start secondary school at 11?

I'd imagine they don't like it because a lot of children will feel home sick and they will be confused your daughter gets to go home early. Not your fault of course, but seeing some of the upset children this week I understand it.

Yes it's very much play based until later on. Perhaps see how she gets on? She may surprise you and ask to stay later I would certainly ask how she felt about it!

Is this your first DC?

I was a bit nervous with my first as he was the youngest in his year and had only literally just turned 4 before starting Reception - I didn't need to worry and in fact, he learnt so much, I'm so glad I didn't hold him back.

My youngest is one of the older ones in the year so has just started Reception and will be 5 in a couple of weeks, so her year of being 4 was during nursery. Despite nursery being largely play based, she still learnt so much!!

It might seem from an outsider looking in that the type of learning they do isn't worth doing or that they'll easily catch up, but that's really not the case.

Reception is such an important year!

Obviously you do what you as her parents feels comfortable, but just bare in mind the teachers have much more experience of children this age and their learning than you do. Maybe take their comments on board. They aren't saying it for no reason.

so what is your reason for not wanting her to go in?

Ive not done this but a couple of friends have - some schools are much more pro 'flexi schooling' in year R than others.

Obviously a bit late for OP now, but if others are reading, it's best to have this conversation at the stage of looking round schools, then pick one that is supportive rather than try and fight with a school that doesn't agree with the approach.

Are you doing this because you think it's in the best interests of your child or just to make a point?

You'd be better deferring a year rather than sending her part time as that's far more disruptive.

It won’t affect his education - he will remain in his current cohort for the duration of his education.

It used to be that children who started a year later would have to miss a school year at some point in order to put them back in their “correct” cohort and this could be jumping from Year 2 to Year 4 for example, or missing Year 6 and going straight to secondary school after Year 5, but thankfully this isn’t the case anymore.

I'm scotland so not sure if it works the same where you are, but if you feel like this why don't you defer her to start next year at 5.5 instead?

I don't think you should be allowed to have children part-time in Reception - I think it's disruptive for the whole class as a PP pointed out. Either take her out, or put her in full time.

And it's depressing what parents think 'learning' is - playing in a mud kitchen is learning (properties of different materials) as is climbing on monkee bars (motor skills for writing), singing nursery rhymes (numbers and memorising words), arguing over what superhero you're going to pretend to be at breaktime (teamwork) and finding your name sign over the coat hook (literacy).

Where are you op -Scotland? In England you start Reception the September after you turn 5 so if she's 5 February she'll start September 2024.

Or do you mean school nursery? In which case she can of course do 15 hours (half days)even if she's entitled to 30 (full days).

I know Scotland has a Jan start so not sure on the rules there?

@WantingToEducate interesting. I was under the impression that you would need to reapply to educate outside of the usual age group at some point in year four.

Poor kid, always having to leave at lunchtime when her friends get to stay.

Nope, in England children start YR the September after they turn 4.
My DS was 4 & 3months when he started YR last September. I was apprehensive as he seemed very young (compared to his DS who was 5 when she started as her birthday is beginning of Sept).
But he's done amazingly. YR is a foundation year, teaching them so much, informally, not just academics, but socially & how to follow instructions, how to get along with other children etc
Not to mention all the themed stuff like Christmas - our nativity is held in the afternoon - if he'd only done mornings, he'd have missed that. Christmas lunch & parties all held in the afternoon etc.
if your child is already 4.5 they're going to be one of the older children already & unless there is a reason why you think they can't cope with full time school, just send them in full time now.

What will you do if she wants to stay with her friends?

I will still have to go through the process of applying for a secondary school place when he “should” have been going (so I will have to do that a year earlier than his classmates would) but when I get the offer I will then just decline it on the basis that he doesn’t actually need a space until the following year, and then I would just reapply again when that time comes.

Its a bit “tick boxing” I think.

The LEA know my son had a deferred start into schooling and that he won’t go to secondary school until a year after he “should” have been going so it should be a smooth process.

I think you should start at half days and play it by ear. By making a rule of February you’ll ignore how your child is feeling and developing in school. She may love it and in that case why wait till next year. If she is struggling as she is young slowly ramp it up one full day a week, then two full days etc etc till December. As others have said Christmas can be fun in schools ( when and while we are still allowed to celebrate 🤔🤔

Do you expect the teacher to help her catch up in February or when she starts?
DD learnt so much in reception.
I think unless you're going to start her a year late so she does reception next year (which I doubt you are eligible for as doesn't sound like she's summer born) YABU.