Pressure to send 4 year old to reception

[Jenro22]

I'm dealing with a situation with my 4.5 year old daughter. She'll be starting reception next week and I am set on my decision to send her only part time until its compulsory for her to be in full time I'm already being pressured by her teachers to send her in full time as they fear she'll fall behind her peers in maths as I intend to send her only in the mornings mon-fri meaning she'll miss maths in the afternoon. I mentiond that surely the level of maths she may miss can be easily caught up to when she joins in February (when she'll be of compulsory age). even suggested i can do bits of learning with her at home as we already do when the opportunity arrises. such as counting, adding and subtracting whatever is at hand for example sweets etc. They tried to argue that its not in her best interest to fall behind. in my opinion age 4 is anyways to young for formal learning and if they expect 4 year olds to ingest what they intend to teach I feel is abit far fetched. as some kids might excel but many won't as they are not mentally developed for learning in such a way. they should be playing, as for learning maths theyll learn through play and real life scenarios like couting sweets, fruit , toys etc. and if anything I think it may leave a negative impact on them and turn them off school. which is the opposite of what we all want. 🤔

Is there a reason you didn’t abstain all together until the following year? Think that is permitted for youngest in the year? Or was that dictated by your local authority? If you have a Montessori pre school nearby, that could be a good way of laying the basis of mathematics and phonics without the structure of proper school.

A reduced timetable isn't in her best interests unless there are additional needs (SEN or health concerns) in play.

I delayed my summer-born, premature DS to start Reception the term after he turned 5. When I was looking into options, I explored part time options, but very quickly saw that this was the absolute worst of the three options (send him at 4, send him at 5, part time). They learn so much during Reception, she'll be at a significant disadvantage if she misses half of it till February.

As you'll have guessed from this thread OP, what you are doing us unusual! So I don't think it's surprising that the school aren't supportive. However, if they've agreed, and it's what you want to do then that's probably enough.

Why don't you want her in full time?

My daughter was 4.5 last September. She was so so ready to learn. She was incredibly bored at nursery. At school she made lovely friends, learned the basics of reading and writing and maths, learned to ride a bike etc. All the kids in her class loved it and thrived in the environment. There were some kids who got an SEN diagnosis but the school worked brilliantly with the parents to deal with any issues.

Is there something different or special about your daughter that you think she won’t cope? If you are really really honest with yourself do you just want to spend the extra time with her? She won’t thank you for being dragged away from her friends and she’ll miss out on half a year of learning. Why not let her start full time and if it’s terrible then cut down to the half days?!

Honestly as a former Reception teacher what you've decided is quite possibly the worst of all the options you have available.

Either send her full time or discuss deferring her until next year but chopping and changing and doing half days whilst all her peers stay for that whole day is just going to make the poor lamb feel like she's not good enough to be at school.

Also have a serious thing about what you will do when she inevitably decides she wants to stay all day because she realises she's the only one going home.

I think when she realises she's the only one going home, that's going to be a real issue.

Yabu, it’s not all about the formal learning in Reception. You’re putting her at a disadvantage socially and emotionally. What happens when she’s mid way playing with her pals and you pitch up to take her home and the others are all about to start a fun activity or story time?

She'll probably be the only one doing that and I find it strange.

Let her go full time like everyone else, enjoy the learning and the play with friends. She'll miss out if she only goes in half a day, it's not like she's there till 5, school days are short anyway.

Why not just defer a year? Is there a reason why you don't want her in full time reception? I'd be worried she would miss out on making friends and it's also disruptive to the other kids to see her leave half day each day.

Is there a SEN consideration at play?

I’m with the teachers, she will fall behind. Not just in the learning side of things, but the friendship groups too. If she’s 4.5 she’s not particularly young. I’d much rather my child was doing a few hours of Maths in the afternoon than just home. I was amazed at what my DS learnt in that first year of reception.

My daughter is the same age (turns 5 in feb) wild horses wouldn’t stop her going to reception tomorrow. She’s most excited about having lunch at school after just doing mornings at preschool.

Reception is very play based, especially in the first term.

I don’t think that part time is really in her best interests. I’d also consider reducing the deadline to October half term.

Out of interest what would you say if she says she wants to go full time?

You do what you think is best - you are the one who knows your child.

At the primary where I am CofG children bob in and out all the time for various reasons and they are all fine. It is a rural school and some parents dot about trying different village primaries to see how the transport works out so we get children at all stages.

If OP’s child is 4.5 I’m not sure she can defer a year. Only if she’s summer born. Otherwise she’ll have to apply for a year 1 place in any school that has places and start having missed the whole of reception.

I do think you will need a bit more than incidental maths to teach the maths curriculum though. Development matters is bare minimum and lots pf schools will be teaching more than that.

having said that I think you could catch the maths up. (As long as you don’t expect the teacher to do extra work). I’d be more worried about the social side and her missing out while other children are forming bonds with each other.

Bear in mind that he might have views on the subject too....

Hmm, tricky. I've sent my summer born to reception this year at 5 as I thought part-time schooling seemed the worst of all words. BUT your DC doesn't seem to be summer born so that isn't likely to be an option for them sadly. I do agree that we start school too young in this country, having said that, reception is very similar to preschool and not so formal etc as schooling after that, at least.

Ultimately it's your choice whether to send full time or not until they're compulsory school age. Can you not agree a different timetable with the school that might be less disruptive? What have they suggested? Maybe ask them for suggestions too. Or could you send her say 2 full days and 3 half days, would that be an acceptable compromise for you? Then she won't miss ALL of the maths for example. Or send her just four full days a week? You are also able to take holidays during term time etc before compulsory school age, so you could take her out the odd day here and there anyway if you wanted for trips or whatever. Just some things to consider.

I wouldn't be so worried about the learning, she will be behind but will probably catch up. But the play element she will really miss. Its the last year of EYFS, year 1 is a huge change. She'll lose the free time to play and make friendships. School is a big change even for kids who have been at nursery and i wouldn't want to cause anymore confusion.

Oh god I'm out a year aren't I? I own two 3.5 year olds too 🤣🤣. They're 4 Dec and of course going to Reception next Sept. Idiot.

And will then have to understand that it's fine to leave at lunchtime in December but in March when she doesn't fancy it that day she has to stay...

Play = learning for 4/5 year olds.

But..what's the point in only sending her in the mornings? What are you worried about?

I would just delay completely until they turn five rather than doing part-time. By missing every maths lesson your child won't be learning all the important methodology they'll need to take into Y1. They could easily fall behind. Plus, it's not maths sitting down hunched over a desk, if that's what you're worried about! It's learning through play, as others have said.

Have you also explained to your child that they're going to have to leave their friends every lunchtime while they stay on at school? I don't think you've necessarily considered what is best for them and have based this on opinion rather than knowledge (FWIW, I agree our kids start school far too early here).

Don't worry about the pressure from the school. They'll give up eventually. My fifth started reception this morning, she will be doing four days a week (Wed off) until she is csa at the start of the summer term. All of my children have attended reception part time, my first following the same morning only pattern as you are doing. With the others we went for full days off instead. I have always offered to take a copy of the teacher's planning and cover what my child will 'miss' on their days off. Funnily enough, no teacher has ever taken me up on it (I'm a teacher myself) and all my children either met the expected standard or did better. No issues with friendships either. Learning in reception is play based. Play, talk, count, read at home and your daughter will be absolutely fine.

My DD did 4 days a week until Easter after she turned 5. It was absolutely fine.
I can see half days being trickier though. If she enjoys school she may not want to leave.