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Original poster

Is this naughty behaviour?

202 replies

Mordekain · 14/10/2022 21:40

I’m getting regular reports from 4yo DS’s school that he’s being badly behaved. For example he:

Chased another child with scissors going snip snip (yes this was naughty)

Roared like a dinosaur at the other children and didn’t stop when he was told to (is this really naughty?)

Threw a teddy bear at another child.

Sticks his face right in other kids faces and pulls a silly expression.

Gets frustrated when he struggles to change his clothes for PE and gets upset and shouts instead of just calmly asking for help.

Gets upset when asked to stop doing a task he’s enjoying or tidy up.

Honestly most of this just sounds like normal 4yo behaviour to me. Am I being too soft? Or are they whinging about nothing?

OP posts:
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DeadbeatYoda · 15/10/2022 18:16

Thurst · 15/10/2022 07:25

I might be totally off the mark here but I’m interested to read that you have a family member with autism and you don’t like socialising. You also seem to have quite a solutions based thought process and a direct style to your writing.
Have you considered that you may be neuro diverse yourself? There are lots of us on mumsnet. There is a self assessment tool that is handy if looking at traits of ASC. It’s not perfect for women but it can help to give a you idea of it’s something you want to explore.
AQ self assessment

This is what I was thinking. So many people don't realise they are neurodiverse because they misunderstand the autistic spectrum ( often imagining it to be a scale of 0-10 which is completely wrong).
OP, try the AQ test. It's not some 'alternative health' nonsense, it's written by Simon Baron Cohen, an eminent neuroscientist. I have a family full of ASC, my son has Asperger's, as does his dad and my mum did too. My nephew and my uncle both have / had it and I have strong traits myself.
Self-awareness is the key to finding strategies to a fulfilled life ( whatever that may mean to you).

bigbluebus · 16/10/2022 11:24

Mordekain · 14/10/2022 22:18

Try to go with an open mind as some of your posts come across as very defensive
I just don’t see how he can be autistic. He’s verbal and articulate. He knows loads of stuff. He points and shares things. He makes eye contact. He plays normally and doesn’t line up toys. He sleeps normally. His behaviour at home isn’t challenging. I’m not seeing any autistic behaviours. Naughty isn’t autistic.

Sorry I've just come back to this thread as I had a busy day yesterday

Your description could have been my DS . He was top of the class, reading fluently before he started school, slept fine, didn't line things up, was very interested in his surroundings - but as I said before he was assessed and diagnosed as having ASD due to his disruptive behaviour and frequent refusal to comply with the social norms in school.
At home we could take him to restaurants, the cinema, the library, the theatre, museums - he would be very well behaved. But the school environment triggered behaviours in him that we didn't see at home.
He needed 1:1 at school to stol him disrupting the rest of the class/lessons.
But he now has a 1st in his BA and a distinction in his Masters. Being bright and articulate does not mean someone is not on the ASD spectrum.

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