The school have lost my child... twice

[Chizem]

(Sorry if not in the right topic - very first post)

Today I had a phone call off the after school club telling me my 8 year old daughter hadn’t made her way from the classroom to the after school room. She goes every Tuesday and Thursday unless I say otherwise and my daughter knows this, as do the after school staff.
Its my sons 1st birthday today and we were at a farm 20 minutes away when I got the phone call. I said I would get there as quick as I could (their tone of voice made me feel like I was in the wrong for not being able to be there right away - but I wasn’t expecting to get a call saying they’d lost her!!)
So apparently, what happens is the after school kids go through the school and the rest are let outside to meet their parents. The teachers don’t know who goes to the club, they just take the children’s word for it.
So her teacher has allowed her to walk out of the classroom and she’s managed to walk to my parents house which is a 15 minute walk with two fairly busy roads (my parents were with me at the farm so nobody was in)
My mum had asked a friend to check to see if she was there and luckily she was, when we got there the headteacher was also there and she was very apologetic and I told her a register of some sort needs to be put in place so teachers know where kids are going! She agreed with me on this.
So hopefully something will change, but the staff at the afterschool club just made me feel as if I was at fault, they said they find it worrying that she has gone to my parents house and I said I think it’s a good job she went there and it’s not worrying at all, what is worrying is that she’s been able to leave the premises without anybody’s knowledge.

This is the second time they’ve ‘lost’ her. The first time, she walked across the field (where she meets me if I’m picking her up) and I wasn’t there as she was supposed to be at club, so another mom has thankfully realised she’s on her own and took her back to school reception. Club have called me to say she hasn’t turned up and reception have also called me asking to collect her. The two rooms are literally a 10 second walk from each other so god knows why they never checked with each other!! And again I felt like I was to blame.
So I’m just asking for some advice (as well as to get it off my chest) what would you do? My friends are saying to complain but I’ve already spoken to the headteacher who says things will change but should I take her word for it??

Gosh our school doesn’t have any sort of pick up rules, the bell goes and 800 kids just scatter We’re in Aus not UK though.

I think at 8 she’s old enough to know not to leave the school grounds by herself, maybe have a chat about how important it is not to leave? I think it’s great the club have contacted you straight away both times though.

spencer same. Aus is funny....they baby the kids terribly when they're smaller, 4 year olds are treated like actual babes in arms....but once they hit 7, then it's out you go! Go home...

No precautions at all. But it's never been a problem here touch wood...we live in a small community.

You arranged for your daughter to go to after school club/childcare so you could celebrate your other child's birthday at a farm?

Way to leave DD out... No wonder she's acting up, she probably feels extremely hurt & left out

Our kids are released from P2 but there are teachers in the gate and they all know to go back to them if something isn’t right. There is no way my 6 and 8 year olds would try and walk anywhere if whoever was collecting them wasn’t there. My 6 yo stays inside the gate until she sees me. Obviously arrangements can be made to collect from the office if there is SEN or a reason they can’t be collected normally.

I do think young children can be given some responsibility here. They need to have a clear plan of the immediate steps they take if something is wrong. What does your DD have to say?

Wee shite comes to mind
All these posters pearl clutching at the idea of the child being held responsible. The school needs to sort itself out for sure, but my five year old knows she must never, ever leave the playground without an adult. Eight is old enough. At some point they are old enough to share the blame/responsibility.

After school club day or not, your daughter should know to not leave school premises without an adult. And to do to school reception if no-one collects her.

The same way you teach your child to protect themselves anywhere, at the park, days out etc.

School should have a register of AS children and teacher to remind these children at the end of each day. Pretty standard.

@HavenDilemma that thought did occur to me.

It’s what I would have done at that age in those circumstances I expect

Thanks for your comments and advice.
I tell her every single Tuesday and Thursday that she has after school club, she knows full well she’s got to go and don’t worry, I’ve had stern words with her and she definitely won’t be doing it again, she’s a sensible child and she has sense 99% of the time but she’s at an age where she’s beginning to rebel and thinks she knows best sometimes, so she’s decided she doesn’t want to go and has left. (The first time she did it she thought I was picking her up as she forgot I’d told her I wasn’t)
But to prevent this from happening the school should have something in place, sorry but as far as I’m concerned, the school should be taking care of her regardless of her age,

The issue seems to be much more with your DD than with the school.

@HavenDilemma
Lol these comments.
We celebrated as a family on Sunday. She didn’t know about the farm and she would never know.
Don’t worry, she gets enough love and days out on her own too.

Would just like to say, she’s not left out at all, we’re going to DLP just us two at the end of month.
Have none of you taken your younger ones to a soft play or play area when your older ones are at school?
And she went to her nans as our house isn’t within walking distance.

An 8 year old doesn't take the responsibility for this. The school have a responsibility to keep her safe. The school need to make she's handed over safely to the club. This is a safeguarding issue. I'd be complaining to Ofsted about it.

@HavenDilemma I agree.

At our school they are collected from class.

For after school club I mean or the teaching assistant walks them there on their way out.

poor safeguarding in school - kids are usually collected from the classroom and taken to afterschool club and ASC maintain a register as to who is booked in when, or school need a list and those kids are held back from the first rush and escorted to ASC. Even at 8 it can be a bit confusing as to where you are supposed to be if things change in the week so child should not be relied upon. HOWEVER I think you also need a drill for her if you are not there ie check with ASC or go to reception etc

I was assuming the soft play started before school finished. You'd struggle to pick a child up from school and get to many places with soft play to have enough time to do a couple of things before they close.

Yeah I see your dd mostly at fault her tbh, I don’t like the fact that the teachers just leave them off to the ASC but your DD should know better. You should get her a green and red bracelet. Green means going home! Red means stop, stay at school.

At my dds school the after school staff whizz through grabbing their lot 2 mins before they open the doors to let kids out. They have a printed register. Is that an option to suggest to the school?

I'm in Ireland and once you get to First Class which I think is Yr2 equivalent you just leave school when it's over. There is a list for the bus line and presumably for after school care but I'm not sure on that one. Everyone else is left to their own devices.
I've loitered around on occasion after collecting my own when I've noticed younger kids waiting to be collected after most people had left.

Something very similar happened at my DS's school last year. Governors and Ofsted were informed and as a result after school arrangements were changed to ensure it wouldn't happen again. While an 8 year old shouldn't be going off by themselves, the school procedures should prevent it happening if a child does decide to take themselves home.

Pressed post too early... she could wear a different bracelet depending on whether she is to stay at school or not!!

@Shinygoldbauble I’m also in Ireland...our ASC collects the junior and senior infants from the classroom. The older ones go through the playground and out a different gate...the only place to go after that gate is the after school. (It’s attached to the school)

@Clangus00 read my above comments please.

The school is at fault here.
They wouldn’t knowingly let a child go home on his own. And they would make it their responsibility if the dd was left by the OP to walk to her gran on her own. So why is it suddenly the child fault if she can get out like this??