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Original poster

Teacher grabbed my DDs arm and pulled her over

177 replies

craftyoldhen · 18/03/2015 20:38

My DD was queuing up for lunch today, she was upset and crying because her friend was being unkind. There has been a few friendship issues recently Hmm

The teacher asked DD what was wrong, and asked her to go to the quiet room with her to talk about it. DD said she didn't want to talk about it - this is because she doesn't trust the teachers any more, she says if she goes to them for help she just ends up in trouble. She tried to walk away, so the teacher said "don't walk away from me young lady", grabbed her arm and pulled her, accidentally knocking her to the floor.

Is this acceptable, especially given she wasn't been naughty, she was just upset? For background she is 7 and has suspected ASD.

OP posts:
TheWhiteRoad · 18/03/2015 20:42

Did you witness the incident or have you just been told about it? Who from?

tak1ngchances · 18/03/2015 20:45

I think that is normal behaviour for an adult in charge of children. However it will no doubt be labelled as child abuse on this thread.
I think its a shame that grabbing a child's arm has somehow been turned into a scandalous act by modern society.

whippy33 · 18/03/2015 20:46

Find out all the facts first from every available source.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 18/03/2015 20:57

normal behavour for an adult - in who's world Hmm

Who told you about it?

hodgepodgepanda · 18/03/2015 21:00

How is it normal behaviour for an adult , especially an adult in charge of young children ?
I'd be going straight to the Head about this & if the Head doesn't sort it I would go above them , it is not acceptable at all

Rosieliveson · 18/03/2015 21:03

This certainly wouldn't be normal in a any school I have worked in.
I'd want to talk to the head and say you are concerned about the teacher pupil relationship.
Out of interest, how did you find out? I would expect an adult to have told me this.

JoyceDivision · 18/03/2015 21:05

an adult grabbing a child and pulling them over is not normal behaviour. I would go toschool and speak to the head to get clarification on what has happened.

jo164 · 18/03/2015 21:05

Find out the details. There is a big difference between pulling a child so hard they fall, and holding a child's arm to prevent them walking away and them accidentally stumbling/tripping. One is unnecessary force, the other an accident.

MythicalKings · 18/03/2015 21:09

^^ this with bells on

ArabellaRockerfella · 18/03/2015 21:21

Hmm! Find out the fact first FGS!
A child told their mum I had pushed them! I had actually tripped on a lifted paving stone and fell forward into a child!! Thank goodness that I had numerous witness' or Who knows where my career would be now.

zzzzz · 18/03/2015 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youarekiddingme · 18/03/2015 21:27

Another who says find out the details fully first.

My ds is also about to be assesed for asd and his version of events is often from what he thinks the person intended rather than what happened.

It would be highly unusual for an incident as serious as your details indicate - that have happened publically - to not have been reported to a senior level.

KeturahLee · 18/03/2015 21:28

Not acceptable for a child to refuse a request and walk away from a teacher.
Acceptable for a teacher to hold a child's arm.
Not acceptable to pull a child over - but sounds like an accident.

spanieleyes · 18/03/2015 21:30

A teacher friend was accused of apparently dragging a girl across the hall by her foot, she was immediately suspended and reported to the LADOetc. This was despite the fact that 29 other children and a teaching assistant had been present at the time and not one had seen anything! If a teacher had pulled a child to the floor in the lunch hall,in full view presumably of the rest of the school the teacher would be suspended pending an investigation.

ToffeeLatteplease · 18/03/2015 21:30

Before you go in all guns blazing, I would find out what is going on

I'm sure you know with ASD you can get touch sensitivity which can mean sometimes the lightest touch can feel like a megawatt hit and the whole social impairment thing means that sometimes things can get misinterpreted very easily.

Not to say your DD is wrong in what happened, but there is so much room for misinterpretation

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 18/03/2015 21:33

How upset was she?

I find the fact that teacher wanted to take her out of the lunch queue to a quiet room a little odd tbh. Especially once your child said no which I think she was in her rights to do.

Why is your dd so distrusting of the teachers?

Perhaps it would be worth going in to talk about that and how your dd can move past that.

Quangle · 18/03/2015 21:33

Agree with keturah. If DD ended up on the floor that was surely an accident. Or do you think the teacher deliberately caused her to fall to the floor ?

Original poster
craftyoldhen · 18/03/2015 22:30

My post does say she knocked her to the floor accidently. I know she won't have done it on purpose.

I just wondered if this was the best way to handle an upset 7 year old, even if they are walking away. DD says she walked away because she thought by saying she didn't want to talk about it, it meant the conversation was over. She wasn't aware she was in the wrong by doing so, that is typical for her and is part of her problems. She does misinterpret situations, but doesn't and can't lie. And she is oversensitive to touch and has poor motor skills so is unsteady on her feet at the best of times, but all the more reason not to pull her by the arm when she's upset IMO. I feel the school are generally handling things badly which is causing things to escalate, DD is increasingly upset and frightened about being in school.

It happened in the yard, that's where they were queuing.

OP posts:
KeturahLee · 18/03/2015 22:32

Did the school inform you of what happened?

Original poster
craftyoldhen · 18/03/2015 22:35

No

OP posts:
KeturahLee · 18/03/2015 22:36

I'd speak to the school first and get their take on it, it might not be quite the same as your DDs.

trashcanjunkie · 18/03/2015 22:48

At our primary (dcs) it's fairly common to see children being carried under a teachers arm kicking and screaming. They also do lots of cuddling and hair stroking though....

It's a tough one as your dc was obviously already upset, and already mistrustful of teachers. The language they used seems overly harsh though.... I would certainly investigate but if possible talk to witnesses too.

Poor dd.

zzzzz · 18/03/2015 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceMcGee · 19/03/2015 12:58

Ye gods!!
I think you should be concentrating on your DC disobeying and being rude to a teacher!!!

AliceMcGee · 19/03/2015 13:00

DD says she walked away because she thought by saying she didn't want to talk about it, it meant the conversation was over. She wasn't aware she was in the wrong by doing so

hmm But you said your dd was in the lunch queue. So she should have known not to walk away ?

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