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Premature birth

Connect with others and find premature birth support.

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Original poster

Kanga Mamas/ No NCT/ new thread

387 replies

Valdeeves · 17/03/2014 04:59

New thread - happy Monday!

Just incase you are wondering this is a thread for premmie mums who feel like they have missed out on the NCT classes experience and would like to chat.

I have missed out twice as has had two premies!
One of which seems to be wide awake at 4am - I have just fallen over a toy trying to get to her and am now cuddling her praying she'll drop off fast!
How's everyone?

OP posts:

MultipleMama · 23/05/2014 21:06

I'd rather not send one, it's a pretty personal tattoo, sorry! :)

I love tattoo, I love bright colourd but a i prefer B&G :) xxx

Hope your LO is better soon!!! Xxx

Original poster

Valdeeves · 23/05/2014 23:29

I am currently sleeping in his bed - he's pretty poorly - tomorrow is day 4 so he's got to be on the mend now

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MultipleMama · 24/05/2014 06:20

I think he'll be getting just over the worst of it, poor thing. Hope he's now on the mend! Xx

Original poster

Valdeeves · 25/05/2014 14:33

Yep better now - bouncing off the walls! Hope things are ok your end xxxx

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MultipleMama · 25/05/2014 16:59

Things are good. I'm so exhausted and no idea why, I'm just feeling off, like ill, most of the time. The kids are doing well, Halo is still a miserable baby but as things fall into a routine I've notice easier he settles, Artie is almost cruising the furniture!

Glad he's on the mend! :) xx

Original poster

Valdeeves · 26/05/2014 12:29

You are probably exhausted from the trauma of having a really poorly baby plus five other children to think about. I know I would be - chickenpox has wiped me out so you must feel ten times worse.
Had a good night out last night, playing with DC's through a hangover - hoping the rain will go away so we can all go out for a walk and a milkshake.

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MultipleMama · 26/05/2014 18:45

Hope you managed to have that milkshake! :)

Kids were with PiL today and around 2pm I got call from MiL saying were in A&E. Dom had got sand in his eyes and still had some in. When I got there they were still waiting so I saw how red and swollen his eye was - the nurse washed his eye and the Olmaphologist (cant spell) checked his eyes, good news they're fine but his irritated eye has a cornea abrasion and has been given antibiotic eye drops to prevent infection. He is however, back to normal and passed out in bed .

MultipleMama · 27/05/2014 20:20

Cannot believe the A-team are 34 weeks old, today , and Halo rolled over onto his back today, it was weird cause he used his left side for momentum even though he didn't use his arm (but attempted to use his leg!) it's so weird but he sometimes refuses to use his right arm/hand and gets really frustrated when he can't use his left arm.

MultipleMama · 28/05/2014 17:57

Tonight I have planed a special treat for K. As he loves of things Space I'm taking him to the public viewing of tonight's Soyuz launch which see's German Astronaut Alex launch to the ISS. K has no idea yet and keeps asking why we've redressed him! Just waiting on DH to come back from the petrol station and then we're off. I am so excited to see K's face light up and spend some one on one time with him! :)

MultipleMama · 29/05/2014 11:25

How did the GP visit go, Val? I hope your little one is okay x

Original poster

Valdeeves · 30/05/2014 00:53

Hi Mama,
Just catching up on the thread.
How's his eye doing? Any better?
Halo rolled over - yeeeey!!! That's a lovely milestone.
How was the space treat?

We never made the milkshake - too wet.
Gp said all ok though.
Had a strange week - really felt the absence of an NCT group as my son was poorly. To be honest been a bit low this week - shed a few tears. But it's ok - feel like it's just a patch I've moved through.

Waiting for the next child to get the pox and begin again.
Any nice plans for the wkend? Xxx

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MultipleMama · 30/05/2014 01:30

His eye is getting better although I have to apply the scissor lock on him just to get his drops in.

Halo hasn't rolled over since but he's very stubborn and lazy and does things at his own pace. He still hates his PT & OT .

The Space treat was brilliant. A successful launch too. K kept clapping and cheering, then gave everyone thumbs up. He's still talking about it :)

So glad the GP gave you the all clear. Hopefully your next child bypasses it - my brother caught everything as a child while I just caught colds! Haha.

When Halo was ill the first time and earlier this month, I missed the interaction and support of a group. Just someone to sit and have a coffee with and share support. It was one of my lows too. I'm glad we started this thread because sometimes an outsiders prospective and support helps, even just a little tiny bit. :)

MultipleMama · 30/05/2014 01:31

No real plans, you? X

Original poster

Valdeeves · 01/06/2014 23:44

It does. - I just find it hard sometimes just life for most families these days does seem to revolve around NCT groups. It's silly to want something you'll never have - but I can't explain how sad I feel about it sometimes.

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Original poster

Valdeeves · 01/06/2014 23:45

Give me some perspective please xxx

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MultipleMama · 02/06/2014 00:30

When I hear people talking about NCT groups I find myself getting annoyed and wish they'd stop going on about them. I guess I'm jealous and a little bitter because I feel robbed and cheated because while they were discuss breathing techniques over coffee or showing off their little one I was sat, alone, in a clinical room with machines beeping watching two of babies in a plastic box. I had no one to invite me for coffee and congradulate me on the birth of my twins. I felt sad and abandoned.

I've tried joining a few but I felt out of place like they already knew each other and because I didn't have my babies with me they get that "pity" look in theor eyes. While one mother gushed over her child's first smile, I wanted to share my excitment of my son finally come off the high-vent onto regular.

I've had 4 healthy babies and didn't NCT groups with them because I was always judged by my age or # of kids. I just wanted support, someone to tell me it's okay to overact over a sniffle...

Sorry for rambling! Never knew I neededto vent all that!

Bankholidaybaby · 02/06/2014 00:51

I feel a bit like that, even though I would not have been able to keep up with an NCT group because I moved house when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I feel like I'm on the periphery of all the baby stuff in my new area - they all seem to know each other really well and I haven't found it at all easy to join in.

MultipleMama · 02/06/2014 12:43

DH dropped the bombshell today that he's happy to stop at 6 children because he's scared of having to go through the motions again and constantly worrying if the baby will be early or ill. He wants to stop. I'm devasted. I spent this morning crying while he got ready for work :(

Original poster

Valdeeves · 02/06/2014 17:52

Glad it's not just me - can't tell you how comforting those two responses were Mama and Bank. Thank you - they pretty much sum up how I feel.

Mama - is he resolute or do you think he's just scared?

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MultipleMama · 02/06/2014 19:27

He said he's done. When I asked for clarification, whether he meant done for now or done completely. He shrugged and said he just doesn't know anymore. that sometimes I'm not fair to him, that I can't expect him to go through another pregnancy full of gusto like I can. We've already decided to wait until at least next year before discussing more children, so for him to say this, makes me think he means for good. The kids are all in bed and he's just doing some case profiling so I plan to talk to him when he's done.

Original poster

Valdeeves · 02/06/2014 23:33

How are your pregnancies? Do you manage it really well?
It's sounds like a really emotional decision.
Bank Holiday which region are you in?

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Original poster

Valdeeves · 02/06/2014 23:34

How many children do you want in the end? Or is it just a case of you'll stop when it feels right?

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Bankholidaybaby · 03/06/2014 01:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MultipleMama · 03/06/2014 09:22

My pregnancies themselves have all been fine except my twin pregnancies; D-twins were constantly monitored but they were healthy and obviously A-team had problems with fluid.

I think it's the labour that scares him. K was BBA and DH had to deliver him breech, A was a planned homebirth with DH catching her (his request). D-twins were supposed to be CS due to high risk but I deliver before the Dr arrived with the epidural, and the A-team were premature.

We always said we wanted 9 or 10 but would stop at #7 for now and revisit the question of children in 5/6 years. We both always wanted a big family seeing as we can afford it (and when we can't that when we'd aim to stop trying)

So we talked, he finally opened up and things are a little easier. He's done, not for good but he doesn't want to think about having another until I hit 30yo, he wants to slow down and enjoy the children we have and wants me to take sometime for myself and our minds and bodies a rest. He makes an excellent point so with a heavy heart I agreed; after sleeping on it, I'm glad he had the guts and honesty to tell me to stop and slow down - I don't think I'm ready for another anytime soon.

Original poster

Valdeeves · 03/06/2014 20:37

I'm pretty impressed that you want that many Mama - I'm so knackered with the two I've got!
I think my little one has chickenpox - round two behind...
Bank holiday I'm in Berkshire too if you need a buddy.

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