Abortion at 16 weeks

[Mondaysunny]

I’m currently pregnant. Don’t live with my partner, got pregnant quite early on. I lost my job a few months back and have stuggled to get a new one. I’ve applied for benefits but there’s a shortfall of around £500 between what I’ve got coming in and out.

My partner says he will provide anything me and the child needs in terms of food and clothing etc - anything maternity related but he won’t help with the shortfall of £500. He is a high earner and can afford this but doesn’t feel like it’s his responsibility.

I’m so stressed. Don’t know how I’m going to pay my bills going forwards. I’m applying for jobs but realistically there’s a limit to what I can do and I’m due to give birth in April. If we were to split up he said he’s give me £1k a month to cover our needs. But I don’t want to be a single mum. I have an older child who is 13 and his father has been so toxic for the ten years we have been apart.

I don’t feel like I can afford to be pregnant. It’s limiting my work options and stressing me out to the point I wish I don’t wake up in the morning.

I am still within the time limits of abortion and I’m considering it. It will mean the end of our relationship but I feel like the conversation we just had about him not helping me has already set the end in motion. I have been in two kind about the pregnancy from the start as we got pregnant after 7 months of being together. We spoke to being a family and he’s been generous so far but only with meals out and things that benefit him or to do with the pregnancy. He doesn’t think he should help me outside of that when he has more than the means too which is what bothers me. We don’t live together, but he has plans to rent/buy a place for us. Until then, I still need to afford my bills which I can’t do atm. If I wasn’t pregnant I think my options would be wider and I wouldn’t feel such stress. I also dread being a single mother again to a toxic man. He hasn’t been toxic so far but I can see indications he can be.

Has anyone aborted at 16 weeks? Or what would you do in my situation?

Tbf you don't seem very pro-choice either.

Of course I'm pro choice. There is no narrative telling women that it is bad to keep an unwanted baby, it is all about telling them that they'll regret their abortion and guilting them about ending a life. It's only recently that religious nutters were barred from standing outside abortion clinics. I'm just cutting through the crap, not telling OP she has to have an abortion!

Jesus Christ 😂😂😂

People are telling OP what they would do in her situation, and encouraging her to do what is right for her no matter anyone else’s mawkish hang ups about abortion.

It isn’t mawkish to point out it is ending the life of a human being.

In every other scenario - the death penalty, euthanasia, disability - the sanctity of life is paramount. But here it goes out the window ‘cos it’s healthcare’ and ‘not even a real person’

Some people are literally pro abortion and don't understand what pro choice actually means which is that every women should have a choice of what they do with their body and provided they fully understand that choice and what will happen that is there choice. Some women though think it is ok to tell a women she should have a termination or termination is the only choice and is easy. I am probably choice as I believe a women should not be told what she should do with her body and should have informed consent and understanding. That is what pro choice is.

Agree completely.

Those of us who regret our abortions are like detransitioners, our stories get swept under the rug and nobody wants to hear them.

FWIW, I believe in the death penalty and euthanasia as well!

“eNdInG tHe LiFe oF a HuMaN bEiNG…!”
Yeah, not mawkish at all(!)

You can assign whatever value you want to your own pregnancy/baby/fetus. No one is telling you not to. You do not get to decide how someone else views their own.

Abortion isn’t about what the fetus/baby/Bob may or may not be for all of us. That is, in fact, utterly irrelevant. No woman should be compelled to continue a pregnancy unless they want to.

There’s an objective value. It’s a human being, a human life. You can make me out to be as backwards/hysterical as you like, those are facts. If it isn’t human what species is it? If it’s not alive, then why does it have a beating heart?

I didn’t say that it wasn’t alive or that it doesn’t belong to the human species. I said I don’t consider that to be at all relevant. I don’t care =/ I don’t know. You can decide that matters when it comes to your own pregnancy/pregnancies. No one else has to think or feel the same about theirs.

I had an abortion because I quite simply did not want to be pregnant. What the fetus/baby was or wasn’t was immaterial.

F

Ok, so what you’re saying is your desire not to be pregnant is far more important than the damage that satisfying that desire does to anyone else.

I’m not anti abortion but I think it’s far too cheap now and treated as a regret solution, or contraception. It’s still a human life and I am uncomfortable with how flippantly it’s treated.

You can be as uncomfortable as you like, but you should keep it to yourself. I think you have an absolute cheek to have had one yourself and go around preaching about how wrong it is. You sound like my mother, she had one and is always banging on about how she regrets it.

Why should I keep it to myself? ‘Choice’ means hearing all angles then deciding. Not just the ‘have an abortion OP!’ ones.

You make it sounds like I’ve benefited from it - I haven’t.

This

You still had it.

Yes so I’m speaking from experience.

If the best thing you’ve ever done is to end another human life then you clearly haven’t contributed much to the world.

So am I. Also, you are the only person who has to suffer because of abortion regret. An unwanted baby adds far more to the total of suffering.

Well, there have been several posters here regretting their abortions so it’s clearly far from unusual. It’s very rare for a person to regret a baby when they actually arrive.

Let me clarify - it’s the only important thing, not the most important thing. The difference is not insignificant.

“and I am uncomfortable with how flippantly it’s treated.“

That’s a you problem. No one is obliged to consider it in a way you find comfortable.

That’s how you see it.

A great summary of why she should have thought twice before getting herself pregnant however now that she is, £500/month doesn’t feel very much to end a life over? As previous posters have said, adoption is always an option.

No it's not, lol. Check out the regretful parents subreddit. Bit of an eye opener. That would have been me if I'd listened to the likes of you. It could even have been you! Just because you regret your abortion doesn't mean it was the wrong thing to do.